Swipe Right for Catfish

Chapter 11

It was raining. Cars were lined bumper to bumper in traffic. I had finished approving the latest projects and now stood at the window thinking about Jackie's case. I wasn't getting any closer to solving it. When I became a detective, I swore never to give up on a case. I'd been hovering over Jose's desk during my fifteen-minute breaks, but he was either on a call or not there at all. I had one more break left, so I needed to use it wisely. Never have the stakes been so high. I mean, Jose proposed and was rejected in such a horrible way. There was a higher possibility he had already moved on. Taking a drag from my chocolate cigarette, I placed my forearm on the window. Once again, staring at the city down below.

Before I could do anything, I needed to find out if Jose's feelings toward her had changed. Maybe I should be blunt? No, my training has taught me better than that. I could have tried the good-cop, bad-cop approach if only my partner weren't the client. There was no other option. I needed to handle this on my own. My reputation as an imaginary detective was on the line.

Taking another drag from my chocolate cigarette, I heard a knock on my door. Moving away from the window, I went to the door, opening it to reveal a cheery James holding a notebook. "What can I do for you? I'm on an important case, kid."

Surprised by my raspy detective voice, he took a step back. "Oh, sorry, I just wanted to get your opinion on another project. Are you smoking in your office?" James said.

Clearing my throat to regain my girlish charm, I said, "My bad, I should explain. I'm practicing for my uh... my improv group. We're doing comedy meets 1940s crime drama. Also, this isn't a real ciggy wiggy dilly. It's fake, see? Look." He watched in horror as I shoved the almost real-looking cigarette in my mouth. I made a face as I chewed on the paper wrapping. But it was far less embarrassing than telling him I pretended to be a love detective solving cases of infatuation one chocolate cigarette at a time. Inviting him in, I continued, "I'll be glad to help my good ol' college buddy. Come on in."

He staggered inside, examining the new area as if cameras were watching him, or maybe he just couldn't see because of the low light. He slowly made his way to the office table and sat on the chair. Reaching into his bag and shuffling through some papers, he pulled one out and handed it to me. "Here, this is the latest project," he said.

The ad appeared to be another organic cereal company. I couldn't think of new ideas for this ad because it was so well done, but I eventually found some good criticisms. Writing them on a notepad, I ripped out the page and handed it to him. "Overall, the ad was good, but I think these improvements would be really beneficial."

"Gee, thanks, Autumn! You're the best!" he said, staring at the notes as if it were a new puppy his parents brought home. "I have three weeks to work on this project, and I really want to impress my supervisor."

Now that I think about it, he has a great work ethic and would be a great fit for the company. I should probably help him a little more. "Hey, listen, make those changes and add your own spin on it. Then come back to me, and I can give you more advice."

"Wow, thanks! You're the best! I'll get going now. Sorry I interrupted your improv practice," he said, putting his things back into his bag.

Picking up the box of chocolate cigarettes off my desk, I took one, pretended to light it, and took an imaginary drag from it. "Not a problem, kiddo, now go on. Detective Falls has got a case to solve," I said, walking back toward the window.

"Whoa, you're amazing at that, Autumn. I mean, detective. Thanks again," he said, putting his bag on his shoulder. That's when I noticed that his watch had a crack in it.

"Hey, how did you get a crack on that watch?" I asked.

"Oh, this... yeah. It's actually a watch passed down in my family, but uh... Oh, look at the time I have to... organize my pencils! Yeah, they just get all over the place, you know, so they need tidying up from time to time," he said and then hurried out of my office. Man, he could have just said no instead of giving me that lame excuse.

Checking the time, I realized now was my last chance to interrogate Jose. Sticking my head out the door, I scanned the hallway to see if the janitor was around. Without a janitor's cart in sight, I moved through the hallways cautiously to avoid my toe-loving simp. Taking extra precautions, I took the stairs and made it to Jose's office without spotting him once.

Walking into his office, I could hear the click of the keys, his eyes slowly darting across all four monitors. He was unaware I walked in, even though I was right in front of him. I didn't even try to call his name. I simply went around the desk, approached him from the side, and tapped him on the shoulder.

Almost falling out of his chair, he turned around to me, laughing. "Hey there, Autumn, you know it's more polite to knock first," he said, lowering his headphones.

"I tried that before, but you always have those headphones on, and you can't hear a thing," I said. Digging in my pocket, I grabbed my pack of coco cigs. Taking a drag from one of my chocolate sticks, I continued, "Listen, Jose. I'm not here to mess around. I'm on a case."

"Oh, Detective Falls is back again. What's the case this time?" Jose said, leaning back in his chair.

"Jose, baby, you know that's not how this works. I ask the questions. You give me the info I need. Then you can go on about your day." Walking away from the desk, I took the nearest seat and pulled out a notepad and pen. "Now, are you going to be a good cub scout and answer my questions, or do we have to do this the hard way?"

"Sure, why not? I'll play. What do you want to know, Detective?"

"Atta boy. So, how's your love life going these days?"

"Uh, pretty tame. I'm on that new app RTLL."

"Oh, how's that working for you? I actually found a really nice girl on there."

"I've gotten a few dates, so nothing too crazy."

"Alright, my break window is closing, so I want to cut to the chase. What caused you and Jackie to break up?"

"She didn't tell you? That's strange. I thought she would have told you by now."

"You and me both, but I don't even have enough clearance to access those records." Jose started rubbing his beard. It looked as if he was questioning if I was telling him the truth. I had to ease the tension. I couldn't lose my only lead on the case. "Listen, if you don't want to spill the beans, we'll move on to the next question."

Jose shook his head. "No, it's fine. I'll tell you everything. Long story short, I was ready for kids and marriage, and she wasn't. Shortly after, we went our separate ways."

"Damn, a tale as old as time. Have you gotten into any new relationships?"

Putting his hands behind his head, he leaned further into his chair. "Nah, not yet. I'm just taking some time to date around for a bit and just be by myself."

"Why is that?"

"I don't want to jump into another relationship while I still have feelings for my ex. It wouldn't be fair to the new girl," he said. So, he hasn't moved on completely yet. I love it when the evidence just falls into my lap.

"Alright, sport, I've got what I needed. I'll take my leave now. I gotta get back to my office," I said, walking to the door.

He turned around to face the monitors, putting on his headphones, and said, "Alrighty, Detective, have a good day." Saying goodbye, I shut the door behind me.

It must have been my lucky day. I made some good progress on the case, and I didn't even run into the creepy janitor on my way back to my office. He must be out today. This was turning out to be a great day. Opening the door to my office, I was greeted by a present on my desk. I unwrapped the small box, curious about who the sender was. Inside was purple toenail polish. Oh no, it couldn't be. That's when I noticed the card next to the box. There was a wax seal closing the envelope, with CC in the middle.

Opening the letter, it read, "Dear, my lovely Autumn, I know it is not your birthday or a holiday, but that doesn't mean that I can't give you a gift. After all, m'lady, I want to encourage you to show off your toes more. So take this nail polish. In return, allow me to take a pic..." Tossing the gift and the letter in the trash, I went back to work. Fuck that guy.

Thanks for reading this episode! Let me know your thoughts about the story by leaving a vote on the chapter and commenting your thoughts. I look forward hearing from you!