Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
♡
The silence was odd, the comfort you once cherished in the small library diminished as you waited for the man who had changed the atmosphere ever since he took a step in the room.
Xavier was late, something that rarely happens. You stretch from your chair. It was past three in the morning, and you weren't done with your essay yet. You glance to the entryway of the library and sighed in disappointment at the lack of presence.
'Maybe he won't be coming today.' You wondered, head leaning back as you twirl yourself in the chair out of boredom. Embarrassingly, you miss him. Not that you were mad, but it would've been nice if he messaged you beforehand maybe.
You closed your eyes, debating in your mind to finish your essay tonight or clean up and do it tomorrow.
I'll finish it now. You concluded, straightening your back before grabbing your pen to start working once more.
You stuck yourself to the grind, not moving from your desk other than pausing for a few seconds to rest your wrist, so focused that you didn't hear the library door slide open. At the corner of your eye, you notice a shadow.
You turn your head in surprise to see Xavier, though he still had that easy grin on his face, he looked rather... Tired, "You're late." You tell him as he moves to the desk next to you, he shrugs. "Better late than never." He retorted, slumping onto his seat as he dropped his bag onto the desk. You took note of how raspy his voice was.
You stare at him for a minute, noticing minor details as you turn back to your paper, turning a few pages in your book. "I haven't seen you since lunch." You absently mentioned and he turns his head to you.
"What? Missed me that much?" He teases, but his tone is soft. You shake your head, snickering. "Maybe, could've texted me though about it." You tell him, looking down at your paper that you didn't notice his mouth twitched.
"'m sorry." He apologizes, to which you responded, "Is alright, I ate lunch with June and her partner and caught up with them-" You turn to him with a grin, only for it to drop once you finally see his eyes.
He looked haggard, finally seeing him under the desk's light with a better view and you placed your pen down, concerned. "Are you okay?"
For the first time in a while, he sniffled and sighs, "I-" He rubs his eyes, "Sorry..." His breath hitches and you stay in your place, letting him answer for himself as he tries to compose his act.
You can only mumble "It's okay." Under your breath, this wasn't the first time this has happened, but it was rare. You stayed in your seat as he slumped onto his arms, controlling his breathing. You only then place a hand onto his back as a sign of your presence and comfort.
He was quiet, the sound of heavy breathing and sometimes a few sniffles were heard from the man as you rub circles on his back, not wanting to make him feel coddled but at the same time feel ignored.
"Do you want water?" You asked, glancing over the bottle on your desk as he shakes his head, which was facing down as his hands were still covering his face.
You two stayed in the position, rubbing random shapes onto his back as you wait. He raises his head, slightly turning to you but only enough to see you at the corner of his eye. "I wasn't expecting this today." He utters, shrugging. "M'sorry that was all of the sudden."
You let your hand stay on his upper back, giving him a soft smile, "You don't have to apologize, we have our off days and sometimes it just gets too much." You assured, looking forward to the room as the silence consumed you both.
"Do you wanna leave? Or..?" You asked, glancing at him as he hums and nods his head. He sits up and you drop your hand from his back.
The two of you left the library, leaving your bags and papers as you two walked side by side. You two ended up stopping by a vending machine nearby the building as you two decided to sit on the curb.
You brought what you usually see him buy most times, a can of black coffee and your drink. Pressing on the options as the machine drops your drinks, you glance over to his figure before grabbing the cans.
You moved and sat next to him, offering him the can as he took it slowly. You look forward once more, staring at the campus as he stares at his shoes.
You knew not to push, letting him decide for himself if he wants to tell you or not. And if he does tell you, you lend him a shoulder to rest on and ears to listen. You glance at him after hearing movement beside you.
He stopped slumping, twirling the can with his wrist as he looks ahead. You lean your head up. "..Thanks." He utters, you hum, "No problem." You utter back before turning your head to him, your hand pats your shoulder as you look at him, an invitation to lean on you.
He stares at you before accepting, placing his head onto your shoulder as you two sit in silence, looking around the empty campus as the silence grows to comfort you both. A quiet understanding between you both.
"I wasn't planning on coming to the library." He quietly admits, looking at the coffee in his hand to avoid the feeling of your eyes on him, "But things are better with you." He says, completely out of context.
You raise a brow, asking softly, "What things?"
He pauses before answering, "Me." He chokes out, still looking away to avoid your gaze, "I'm better with you." He confesses.
He feels a lightweight on top of his head, notifying that you placed your head on top of his, "I wish I could tell you what you are to me."
"I never felt this safe with anyone before, and I'm so scared that I'll never see you again." He breathes out, closing his eyes as you place an arm around his shoulder, drawing him closer to you like a moth to a flame.
"You never have to be scared of losing me." You swore, running your fingers through his hair as you continued, "Because I'll always be here."
His eyes were getting heavy, the full 24 hours he was awake was finally taking a toll on him. He tries to shift to a more comfortable angle before you teased, "Being half asleep is a really good look on you."
He chuckles, making your heart swell, "Shut it, you're making me want to sleep with your boring flirting." He jests, still shuffling for a better position before you offer, "You can lay your head on my lap."
He stares at you, "Are you sure?" You snicker, "I wouldn't be offering if I wasn't." You tell him, and he shifts himself to comfortably lay his head onto your lap, placing the unopened can onto the ground.
He unconsciously finds your free hand and intertwined his fingers with yours.
"I'll wake you up at five, the library opens at six and today's a Sunday anyways." You offer, taking a sip of your drink. He hums, considering. "You promise?" He asked, glancing up to you and you gave him a nod, your thumb caressing the back of his hand. "I promise."
Once you can hear his breathing slow down, you place the cold surface of your drink on your cheek, as if it was to make the heat disappear from your face. With a sigh, you found yourself fond of Xavier's peaceful look, "I should stop staring."
