Backlash Part 1

Chapter 50: Caiyi Town

Jiang Yanli barely kept herself together long enough to see Jiang Wanyin and her parents off. They stayed only a few hours after Sect Leader Jiang agreed to the proposal. Originally it would have been expected for them to stay awhile before departing, but neither of her parents seemed to want to stay in Cloud Recesses. Yu Ziyuan had wanted to bring Jiang Yanli back home as well. In the past Jiang Yanli might have agreed. Rather, she probably would have agreed. She had foolishly thought Wei Wuxian didn't need her as much as Jiang Wanyin did. A very foolish thought when she gave it proper thought.

Jiang Wanyin was going to have a hard time back at Lotus Pier. Jiang Yanli knew with absolute certainty that their mother would berate him. Yu Ziyuan did that a lot. She'd scold him endlessly about not being strong enough, not training hard enough, not being good enough. Jiang Yanli used to receive such scoldings too, although Jiang Wanyin's came with the addition of always being compared to Wei Wuxian.

Jiang Yanli was the oldest, but she was beyond weak in cultivation. She could not even wield a normal sword with any meaningful effect, let alone a spiritual sword. Yu Ziyuan's scoldings of Jiang Yanli used to be frequent. Fiery and loud, occurring multiple times a day. Jiang Yanli wasn't certain how long it lasted. Years she supposed. Then one day her mother had stopped yelling. She had looked at Jiang Yanli with deep disappointment, and then it was like she didn't even have the energy to yell at Jiang Yanli anymore. Her mother began yelling at Jiang Wanyin instead.

Jiang Yanli's heart ached whenever Yu Ziyuan berated Jiang Wanyin for not being good enough. Part of her always blamed herself. After all it used to be her who received the lectures and scoldings for not being strong enough. Jiang Yanli remembered how it felt to be on the receiving end of those rants. She knew it hurt her, but she expected it probably hurt Jiang Wanyin even more. He wanted Yu Ziyuan to be proud of him. Jiang Yanli had given up such desires a long time ago.

Torn as Jiang Yanli was about what to do now, deep down Jiang Yanli knew what her decision was going to be. She thought she had done a good job of taking care of both Wei Wuxian and Jiang Wanyin, but the reality was something else. Wei Wuxian was the one who figured out how to make Jiang Wanyin feel better after one of their mother's scoldings. Jiang Yanli's attempts had never been received well. Not only that, but Jiang Yanli was wondering how many times had she thought she was being fair, but was actually neglecting Wei Wuxian. She wasn't sure if there was a way for her to know, but all she could was try to do better now. She knew she didn't help him as much as Lan Wangji, or even Wen Qing, but Wen Qing said what she was doing was helpful. If she could at least help him a little, it would be worth whatever she had to do.

Ultimately Jiang Yanli convinced her mother to let her stay by assuring her that she would use this time to try and ingratiate herself with Jin Zixuan. Jiang Yanli knew her mother would like that. The entire reason her mother sent her to Cloud Recesses was because Jin Zixuan would be here. It wasn't like her mother expected Jiang Yanli to learn anything from the lectures. Her mother had more or less accepted that she was useless. Yu Ziyuan expected very little from her now. Jiang Yanli supposed after all those years of scoldings that yielded no improvement her mother had just written her off as a failure and resigned herself to only insist Jiang Yanli prepare herself to be a good wife to Jin Zixuan.

Jiang Yanli felt herself wilt at the reminder. She said she would try and ingratiate herself to Jin Zixuan, but she had no intention of doing so. Jiang Yanli had been engaged to him for most of her life. Before she had even understood what it was to have feelings for someone she had already known Jin Zixuan would one day be her husband. As she got older she began to understand what that meant. When her friends would talk about what they hoped their partner would be like, Jiang Yanli would imagine what her life with Jin Zixuan might be like. She didn't know him very well. They had met a few times at various events, but rarely interacted. He was handsome and charismatic. He always seemed to be surrounded by people.