Reckless - Cassie Howard

02. I Don't Care if Heaven is Willing to Take Me I'm Not Willing to Go

'If there is a god, He will have to beg me for forgiveness.' These were the words that had run through Nico's mind at twelve years old as he watched his mother's broken body be hauled away by EMTs. The accident had been another reason his Catholic rehabilitation center had used to explain his heavy drinking habits.

The center always pushed for betterment through "god." Nico knew it was a front, if god was real he wouldn't have had to watch his mother and father's marriage fall apart, if god existed he wouldn't have had to watch as his mother became a junkie, if god really existed he wouldn't have been standing outside that day as he watched his mother get hit by a speeding car.

Nico had firmly decided at twelve years old that god was not real and if he was then, he'd better be ready to grovel for Nico's forgiveness.

Nico's phone gave a painful shriek as his alarm went off.

"Fuck." He muttered climbing out of his bed.

He smelled the faint scent of burnt bacon and stale coffee, so he knew his dad was already up and about for the day.

He got dressed and made his way to the kitchen where his dad was sitting and reading a newspaper.

"Morning kiddo."

Nico let out a grumble as he began to pile the less burnt pieces of bacon onto his plate.

"Listen, Neeks I need you to do me a fave-" Nico interrupted his father's request with a large sigh.

Matteo gave his son a stern look. "All I'm asking is that you pick up the Howard girls on your way to school." He paused as a look of pity came across his face; "Suze called and-"

Nico cut him off with a shrug, "Sure."

Matteo looked up in surprise normally he'd have to fight Nico to get him to do something like this.

"Alright well," He paused "Thanks."

"No problem Dad," Nico said as he walked towards the door.

A dark red Dodge Challenger waited for him in the driveway he was so happy to have his car back. The vehicle revved up as Nico stepped on the gas.

The Howards' house was only a couple of miles from his he vividly remembers riding his bike to their house in order to hang out with Lexi and Rue. Cassie would be there sometimes, but young Nico couldn't be around her for long before he became a sweaty-palmed mess. Nico often looked back on the days of his crush on Cassie and scoffed. She was so different now nowhere near the sweet and innocent girl that Nico had imagined being with when he was twelve.

Nico stopped at the end of the Howards' driveway and honked his horn. The younger Howard sister came speed walking out of her front door seconds after Nico parked.

"I am so sorry about this Nico," Lexi said as she slipped into the backseat.

Nico smiled Lexi had always been his favorite of the Howard sisters.

"No problem." He said.

"It really is though I don't even know why my mom texted your dad." Lexi sounded stressed but then again she always sounded like that.

Nico shrugged, "Y'know how my dad is your mom could have made the slightest suggestion and my dad would have jumped to have me do it."

Lexi laughed "You're right."

Nico looked up just as the second Howard girl came out of the house, Nico tried to focus on her face but, the deep-cut blue crop top she was wearing called to his teenage mind.

Cassie slipped into the passenger side of his car and flipped the mirror down to finish doing her makeup.

"Hey, Cassie..." Nico said awkwardly as the girl put on her makeup.

Cassie looked over at him and gave him a large smile.

"Hey."

Nico started the car and pulled out of the Howards' driveway.

----------

"That's such bullshit dude."

"I'm telling you, bro, she blacked out," Nate said as he showed Nico his phone.

Nico closed his locker and sighed, "Everyone saw her-" Nico made a lewd gesture with his hand, "-fuckin' that dude man."

Nate glared at his best friend "She. Blacked. Out."

Nico could see Nate's anger flaring up so he decided to drop it.

He held his hand up in defeat, "Alright bro, she blacked out."

Nate nodded and closed his locker.

"Anyway-" he started as they headed off to class, "-I saw you hooking up with that blonde chick on the cheer team."

"She's on the cheer team?" Nico asked, "I was so drunk I didn't even recognize her."

"Honestly I'm surprised you got to her this late," Nate said shrugging.

Nico didn't have to ask what he meant there were some girls that had been passed around the football team, Sara Henderson, Madison Pack, Victoria Green, and...Cassie Howard. That last name left a bad taste in Nico's mouth Cassie shouldn't be on that list it feels wrong.

The end-of-day bell rang signaling that it was time to leave.

Lexi rushed up to him almost frantic, "Hey! I know it wasn't discussed but can you drive me I heard it was supposed to rain and-"

Nico laughed, "No problem Lex. Hop in."

Lexi gave a sigh of relief.

-------

Nico walked along the park's path with a bottle of whiskey in hand. He was skipping AA which he knew was a terrible Idea but he didn't really give a fuck. He had left his car in his driveway just in case any of his father's lackeys drove through the park they wouldn't see him.

The whiskey burned his throat as he took another swig, he walked aimlessly through the park's woodsy trails.

Nico sat on the benche just on the outskirts of the trail and sighed. He'd have to start going to AA some time or his father would find out and he'd be in some shit. God...he was going to have to get his shit together.

Brrr

Brrr

Brrr

Nico phone went off in his pocket. Nate's name was flashing on his screen. Nico looked at the phone and tried to decide if he was going to answer it against his better judgement he answered.

"I need your help I fucked up." Well Shit.

A/N: Thanks for reading and sorry for the long delay.