Bruises • Luke Hemmings a.u

Five.

Five

I haven't spoken to Calum since Friday, the day he told me he has feelings for me. The day he told me that I'm a whore. And the day he ended our friendship.

It's Monday now, and I'm sat at a small round table in the middle of my school's canteen, eating lunch with Brooke and Ashton who are both being grossly cute. It's making me jealous. It's a shame that the only person I want to do that with, I can never have.

"I love you so much," Brooke says to Ash as he smiles down at her. He's not tall, but Brooke is so short, that even sat, he towers over her.

"I love you too, baby," he says back with a kiss on her cheek, making her cheeks go red, and I smile, because I don't think I have ever seen her blush around a man before.

I don't know Ashton well. I've never given myself the chance to, seems as Calum spoke so negatively about him, but after spending the entire weekend with both Brooke and Ashton, I've really started to get to know him.

He's a good guy, and he get's my approval to be Brookes boyfriend. It makes me annoyed with myself how much of a bad friend I've been to Brooke over the past few weeks.

I've been so busy using Calum to distract myself from my lust-filled thoughts of my stepfarther, I never bothered to get to know Ashton like I know Brooke has wanted me to. And I'm ashamed of myself for being so caught up in my own life, that I neglected to notice hers.

And they have both been so good to me this weekend, dragging me out of my house at Luke's amusement, knowing that if I stayed home, I would only think about Calum and how much I miss his friendship.

Three days. I haven't seen Calum for three days, and I miss him. I've gone longer without seeing him. Longer without any communication at all actually, but it's the fact that I know I can't talk to him that's really bumming me out.

I thought I would see him in my English class that we both share together, but he never showed, and I'm pretty cetain it's because of me. I half expected some missed calls or a text apologising for his behaviour, or the ultimatum he but me in. But I got neither.

"Hey," Ashton says, getting my attention. "What's going on up in there?" he smiles, tapping me gently on the forehead. "You better not be thinking about that dickhead again."

"She will be," Brooke says to him, "He's all she's been thinking about these last few days," she says and gives me a small, sad smile.

I frown at her, as if telling her to stop talking like I'm not here, stop speaking for me, and she looks back at me guiltily and shrugs. "What?" she asks, "It's true."

"I miss him."

Brooke gives me a sympathetic look. "I know you do, but what he said to you was so out of order. I want to bash his face in so hard. I always knew he was an arsehole."

"Speak of the devil," Ashton whispers to Brooke, his eyes looking behind me, making me turn around, only to have my eyes land on Calum.

So he is at school today, he's just avoiding me.

A sudden wave of guilt washes over me when I see how he looks. He has dark circles under his eyes, indicating that he hasn't been sleeping well, and I can't help but wonder if that's because of me too.

His soft brown eyes that I've always found so comforting suddenly land on mine, and they don't look so soft anymore.

I give him a shy smile. He doesn't smile back, in fact his face looks expressionless, which I never thought was even possible, but suddenly he is making his way over to our table; over to me.