Mateo

14

"You need to eat," Adriana ordered for like the fifth time this morning.

"I can't." I continued to type quickly on my MacBook.

Ever since Mateo's been gone, I've been working non-stop to find ways to get him back. Without the adoption papers, it was a bit hard to find a lawyer who would be willing to work with me if and when I took this matter to court.

"You've been working at this for days." Adriana gently placed her hands over mine, stopping me from typing. "It's time fore you to take a small break."

I moved in with Adriana and her older sister, Yvonne, ever since Mateo was taken from me. I was a total wreck, and I couldn't stand being in the exact house he was taken from. Everyday, all the heartbreaking memories would repeatedly break my heart into little fragments so small that it would take days for someone to piece them back together.

"I can't take a break, Adriana." I looked into her eyes. "I can't eat, I can't sleep, and I'm surprised I'm even breathing at this point without my baby."

"Cleo, Hon, you need to see a therapist or something to sort out your feelings. Mateo's not coming back, you and I both know that."

"Wow, what great words of encouragement." I grabbed my MackBook and cup of coffee while I headed to my room. Once I got in, I shut my door, locked it, then plopped onto my bed.

"Cee, c'mon," Adriana said from the other side of the door. "I'm just trying to help. If you don't believe me, look at yourself in the mirror; think about the last time you took a good shower, ate a real meal, and focused on yourself." I heard something glass get placed softly on the floor. "I left a plate of breakfast out for you. I'm gonna go to work; call me if you need anything, okay?"

"Okay," I mumbled with no intention to touch the food.

After hearing the front door shut and lock, I turned to see myself in my horizontal mirror. My hair was all tangled and nappy with a couple chunks of dandruff, my eyes had massive, dark circles around them making me look like an extremely big raccoon, and it even looked like I lost a couple of pounds—that part specifically didn't surprise me. If you didn't know what was going on in my life, you'd probably think I had some type of eating disorder.

Maybe I should go take a shower.

My phone dinged. I leaned slightly to see who it was texting me. Booker.

Eh. . . I'll probably take one later.

Adriana told me you weren't handling the Mateo thing well. I just wanted to let you know that I'm always here if you wanna talk about it.

I rolled my eyes. These people just didn't understand what grieving was. I wanted to be alone and sulk in my depressing mood. I turned my phone off and started back typing away questions.

I promised Mateo that I would never stop fighting for him. I never break promises and I didn't wanna start now.

My stomach growled, followed by a sharp pain. My head began to pound and I couldn't remember the last time I'd eaten. I got up slowly to make my way towards the kitchen. On my way, I held out my hands to stop me from bumping into things since I couldn't walk straight. I felt like I was about to—

Everything around me turned black as my body began falling to the ground.

•

I opened my eyes.

"Get her into room 702," someone shouted.

Why was I moving so fast? Where was I?

Someone sat in front of me began asking me dumb questions. "Do you remember your name?"

"Y-yes. . ."

My eyes started to droop. "Stay with us, Cleo." The lady shook me softly. "Cleo!"

Darkness.

I woke again, this time in some type of room with tons of tubes hanging everywhere. I noticed people in blue scrubs rushing to and fro.

Who were these mysterious people?

Constant beeping filled my eardrums. "Too loud," I shouted. "Too loud!"

"Miss Brown, what's happening? What do you hear?" A man with square glasses ran up to me.

What exactly was I hearing?

I fought with the strong urge to get engulfed back into the black hole. I didn't wanna return with the fear that if I did, I would never come back into the light. I fought a hard, long fight, but unfortunately, I lost.

My eyes shot open.

"Clear." I saw a lady rubbing two pieces of machinery together, some electricity spewing off of them. "C'mon, Cleo," she muttered.

Hello, darkness.

I've always wondered how it felt to die, but I didn't want to experience it right now. What if this was the afterlife? Why would it be so boring? All I saw right now was black—if it even was me looking.

With one violent shake, I sat up abruptly. Everyone in the room stopped what they were doing to stare at me. There were about twenty people in here. I still wasn't sure where I was or how in the world I managed to get here. I opened my mouth to speak, but nothing came out.

"Miss Brown." I turned my head to see a tall man with messy, black hair and a little sweat running down his forehead. "You've had some problems going on with your blood sugar, your water intake was severely low, along with your food intake, proteins, healthy minerals that your body absolutely needs to survive. . ."

I stared at his lips as he talked so I could understand better, but I still didn't comprehend a single word that came out of his dried lips. To me, he sounded like the adults in Charlie Brown: "Wuah, wuah. . . wuah wuah wuah wuah."