Beyond the Border | ✔

39 | rule 15

RULE 15: DO NOT GO OUT ALONE AT NIGHT. YOU DO NOT KNOW WHAT LURKS IN THE SHADOWS.

✷ C H A P T E R T H I R T Y - N I N E ✷

Theo and I laid next to each other, his arms creating a cage around my small frame. Despite having his supernatural abilities blocked, he still was able to provide a surplus of heat, warming my body from the unrelenting frigid temperatures. My head rested under the crook of his neck while my fingers fiddled with the zipper of Theo's unzipped coat.

    Guilt started to build within me, knowing my time on the Outside was drawing near. I would be within the grasp of a witch soon, and then I would hopefully be able to convince her to come to the Borderlands with me. My time on the Outside would soon fade into a distant memory as I took my place back with my family.

    Images of the doll still taunted me every hour, but I willed myself to push through. I could not succumb to the dark truth Pa might pay for my wrongdoings. I would not be able to continue on if the light at the end of the tunnel diminished.

    Would I be able to assimilate back into the Borderlands with everything I experienced? With everything I now knew? Life certainly would not be the same. It could not be the same without Memphis and the uncertainty about Gracie and Si's whereabouts. I could only hope they were okay.

    Gulping, I asked, "what's going to happen when we go back to your pack?"

    I didn't know why I asked the question. Wouldn't the answer cause more pain than clarity? I couldn't help myself from wondering what Theo planned for the future – for our future – as selfish as it was.

    "I was hoping it would become our pack," he said softly into my hair.

My breath hitched, and a part of me wanted to embrace his plans with open arms, but how could I lead him on like that? I would not be going back to his pack if things panned out with the witch.

    "I-I-" I stuttered.

    Theo interrupted my stuttering by saying, "shhh. I was hoping you would accept the position of Luna when we got back, but, Sage, I would wait an eternity for you."

    My heart raced, my mind spinning. My body shook but not from the cold. Part of me wanted to say I would never accept – that I could never accept – but I no longer knew if that was entirely true. Theo's face swirled in my mind, and it didn't cause me to recoil back in fear. It didn't make me instantly label him a beast. It had been drilled in my head my entire life I should rather die than stand beside Theo, but what if these teachings had been wrong? The Council, after all, was proof that – at the very least – something was wrong in the Borderlands.

    What happened to me? I wondered. Why was I thinking this way?

    I tried to shake these thoughts out of my mind, but they wouldn't fade away. Theo would not fade away.

    My heart fluttered. Would I be able to leave the Outside so easily? I knew it did not matter. My wants were not above the people of the Borderlands. I could not put my selfish desires above all the innocent people behind the Border, especially the refugees who ran away from the dangers of the Outside.

    "You don't mean that, really?" I asked in a hushed tone. My shoulders relaxed into Theo at the realization Heath and Mina would not be able to hear us. With their impaired abilities, the distance between the two trees we rested in was far too great for them to hear a thing.

    My words were hesitant as an attempt to convince myself Theo did not hold me in such high regard. Everything would be easier that way.

    "Let me show you," his voice was low and hesitant before any trace of hesitance washed away with his bold confidence as his lips magnetized to mine.