Beyond the Border | ✔

45 | rule 53

RULE 53: FORGIVENESS SHALL NOT BE GRANTED TO THOSE WHO LOSE THEIR WAY.

✷ C H A P T E R F O U R T Y - F I V E ✷

"Okay," Vanessa agreed, looking me over.

I stopped myself from asking: "what?"

To say I was stunned was an understatement. Vanessa did not hesitate to accept my request – to accept coming to the Borderlands, to accept without knowing what would be involved. I imagined she would take some convincing; she was not someone easily persuaded, and, in the short time I knew her, she did not like to play by the beat of anyone else's drum.

"I'll do it. I'll go to the Borderlands with you," she looked at me dubiously, a cautious gaze was sent my way. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"I just– never mind – let's go," I shook my head, trying not to get caught up in the fact her agreement was so easily won.

"Should we tell The–"

"–no," I responded a little too quickly for my liking.

Once the shock of Vanessa agreeing to accompany me wore off, we made haste in our preparations to go to the Borderlands. To be fair, there were not a lot of preparations to be made, but I had to make sure Vanessa would not try and rope anyone else into our trip back to my homeland.

The plan was Vanessa would transport us to the Borderlands, and I would then navigate us to the side of the Border the Council would be expecting us. From there, we would be at the mercy of the Council. Throughout preparing these final details, Vanessa did not ask a single question, and I – too afraid of what would happen – did not reveal the true reason why I roped her into coming to the Border.

My heartbeat was through the roof. I was so close to being reunited with Pa. So close to having life return to the way it was before my birthday. I would re-enter the Borderlands, take up my job back with Sandy, and come home each night to my family.

Except, I knew it could never be so simple, not when Theo was involved. I would have to leave him behind – just the thought made my heart clench and my mark burn.

Why did leaving him feel so wrong?

I had no time to wallow in my despair. In the same fashion Vanessa brought us to the diner earlier, she transported us to the outside edge of the Borderlands. I still haven't gotten used to the swirling sensation of being teleported from one location to the next, but my stomach was more agreeable this time, my nerves protecting me from feeling the full force.

Once I opened my eyes – my head no longer spinning – I could tell we were at the Eastern side of the Borderlands. The tall trees were a giveaway to our current location. It was less developed, leaving room for more growth within the Borderlands, but it was not where we were meant to meet the Council. We would have to walk over to the Western edge.

Guiding Vanessa, we slowly started making our way to the drop point. Walking alongside the Border, it felt surreal to be on the Outside looking in, like I was an Outsider like I had not grown up with the constraints of the Border.

Was there some truth in my feelings? Was I an Outsider? During the two months I had been away from the Borderlands, I fought against the culture of the Outside at almost every turn. However, I could not say I upheld the unwavering beliefs I had been raised to hold near and dear during my childhood. I could not say – with total confidence – that someone like Mina was a monster when, at every turn, she helped me in my life on the Outside. Even Theo had redeeming qualities about him.