I miss the feeling of what was childhood bliss. When I would wake up at ten on a Saturday and eat sugary cereal and play with my baby sister as she giggled.
The morning light shone through the small windows in our cream kitchen and the only nose was the soft chatter of the TV in the background. I remember pouring my hungover dad coffee as he was sprawled over on the couch, and the small smile that greeted me as the mug met his hands. Mom was gone for a business trip, and I was alone with the only people I still felt safe with.
Pre-school hadn't been going well, I'd been being bullied for the scars across my arms and the scabbing wounds that covered all my joints. Teachers would pull me over after school and ask if I was harming myself or being hurt by someone else. Their eyes were always filled with such genuine worry, and each time with a pang of regret I had to assure them I just had a really vicious cat. I don't even own a cat.
I remember helping my sister drink some formula milk as she giggled in her high chair, dribbling some out. A genuinely happy had cracked onto my face and her big blue eyes met mine. I didn't know at the time, but taking care of her was the only purpose I felt I've ever had.
My soul withered and cracked the day I heard her eyes go wide as she coughed her lungs out of her body. Her little baby face turning purple as doctors rushed around her frantically. The monitor flatlining and the shocked tears of my parents, devastation filling the room. That day I felt my purpose on the earth die along with her.
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The Playlist of Traumas
Short StoryA girl tells her most horrible traumas and the story of her life through short paragraphs inspired by different songs. TW: suicide, rape, sh, intrusive thoughts, murder, shooting, abuse spotify- fionnaj the playlist is called "🤷🏼♀️"
