Asshole (SKK)

Ch. 1

We started writing this on a sudden impulse. It started with me working hard to make an animatic of these two bimbos and now look at me. Writing this on a school night. Let's hope I can publish consistently though.
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Late at night, a quiet bar sits in an alleyway. Soft jazz can be heard from somewhere in the bar. And the layout that has always been the same. Plus the pitter patter of rain outside makes for a serene, almost nostalgic atmosphere. And it truly would be a nostalgic feeling if it weren't for two, major, details.

Odasaku and Ango weren't here anymore.

And Dazai didn't belong in the Port Mafia.

Sighing with a slight smirk, he downs the rest of his drink quickly. That burning feeling he always got in his throat has been long gone for years. Sighing in frustration now, he pays and walks out into the night, not even minding the rain that's coming down on him.

Not even a bit tipsy, he strolls around the city with no particular destination. Not like he could go home when he misplaced his keys somewhere. Or perhaps they're still in the river he dove into earlier that day. He can't remember if they found all his belongings that resided in his pockets. Hell, it's a miracle they even found his wallet with everything still inside.

No matter. He can always trick Kunikida into opening his door for him. Just pull the right strings and it'll be as simple as breathing. He is the kind of man to believe anything if you say it seriously enough.

Lost in thought, he didn't realize he walked back to the bridge where he dove off of just hours ago. However, this time he wouldn't jump. Sure he's already soaking wet but that just means he'll get colder and it'll take a while to freeze to death anyway. He didn't want to suffer during that and definitely not get sick in the off chance he survives.

After admiring the moonlit river for a moment, he continues on as if it were a normal afternoon. He is just strolling around, no real destination or speed limit. Just enjoying the night.

Eventually, he heads to his apartment. He didn't feel like sleeping under a bridge again. Too many stray dogs huddled there and he would rather do all his missing paperwork, in better quality than even Kunkida can produce, than spend the night with those vile creatures. Not like he had an intention of completing it, much less good enough to rival Kunikida. Huffing, he takes out a bobby pin from his hair.

He hears a click after a few moments and smirks as his stands up to his full posture before entering the apartment. It's a decent living space. It's got a futon and a kitchen area, not that he can really cook. He once gave the ADA food poisoning on Christmas that was so bad they required Yosano's ability. Let's just say everyone is forbidden from even smelling anything made by Dazai.

A couple nick knacks can be spotted here and there. 'The Complete Suicide' sits on the small table in the corner along with a tea cup that I never bothered to pick up. My beloved fountain pen, that's a bit too heavy to write with, sits beside a piece of paper with some irrelevant information on it. Booze bottles that aren't so secretly hidden away in a cabinet along with instant food.

A single small bottle of wine sits behind the booze and instant meals. A Petrus 1889 to be exact. It was really pricey and I don't even like wine. It just sits idly by, being dusted every now and then when I clean this cabinet. I know the reason I bought and I really hate to admit it to myself but it was because of him.

He said he celebrated with this when he found out I left. He is the one that loves wine. His height is the reason I chose the smaller one. He is the reason I can't get rid of it.

"He-he-he... This is so ironic... I'm pathetically comparing that slug to a small wine bottle... I must be tired, yes that's it... Just tired, a nice bath and into the futon we go and it'll all be okay again..."

It's just a simple bath right? How hard can it be?

Very hard apparently. First off I guess I forgot about the dorm's 'curfew'. So no bath right now. Secondly, I just put these bandages on and I don't want to take them off. Mainly because I ran out this morning. Oh well, nothing I can't work with. This is still a decently better situation than back then.

Laying in the futon, I roll over and grab a sake bottle nearby and an old phone. My old phone to be exact. One that I haven't used since leaving the Port Mafia. The one which has all my messages with him. I like re-reading them. They bring a sense of... happiness? Yeah, happiness.

I remember it taking four whole months just for Ch- him to give me his number. Worth it went I spammed him with all my 'cringe memes'. His words not mine. He blocked me for a week after that. Well I'm sorry, I personally think I'm hilarious.

Anyway, I spend time re-reading our own messages. We have- or had I should say- our own language we would use with each other to hide what we were actually talking about. I miss the old days but I don't at the same time. I didn't really like Mori or how dangerous some of his plans could be, but I can't deny I don't miss the times me and him would sneak out or just goof off a little during missions. It was always fun.

As much as I'd hate to admit, I do miss you... Chuuya...