Just a day

CHAPTER 6 " The First Date"

ON FRIDAY
The day before yesterday, after reading my diary, I just couldn't stop myself from having a breakdown. It was after 3-4 hours I could calm myself. I was deeply engulfed in my sorrows, I started searching down the old box beside my bed like a beggar searching a dumpster in need of food. At last, I found it. The stuffed toy I played with as a kid. It was a stuffed teddy bear named Snuffles. It was brown with little ears and a black nose. Since my parents never wanted to buy me anything, I found it in the trash. My youngest brother, Leo had ripped it apart when he was just a toddler because he didn't like its colour. I was heartbroken seeing Snuffles like that so I stitched it back together but that ripped it only more. At last, I thought it was better to leave it like that itself. Snuffles reeked of damage. It looked like a frail, scared, and silent person lying in one corner of the room. After that incident, I tried never to look at it, It reminded me of myself. Small, scared, and crying, trying so hard to stand up but the chains on my feet pulled me down.

I hugged the stuffed toy like a child to his mother and slept soundly fully for the first time in the past five years. Not only did I sleep like a child, I felt like one too. All those memories and feelings I had as a kid came back to me. No matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't ignore them. They crept onto me like nightmares.

You know those secrets you dread that you know you can never talk about. The ones that burn you down alive. The ones that define who you are now. These were those secrets for me: my past, my childhood, and my nightmare.

I remember every night when I was younger, I would sit down beside my bed, lay my hands on the bedspread and pray for that one thing.

"Dear God

I ask you the same again. To bring me back to my parents and restore the happiness that once lived in this house. If not then give me the strength to bear these sorrows and nightmares. These dreadful days that I cry for every day"

Every day I chanted this like the only words stuck to my soul. All my chants were of no use, it was all but a mere waste because my parents remained the bitches they were.

PRESENT-DAY
*thud, thud, thud *
The banging of the utensils wakes me up. It keeps going on and on like an alarm. Today is the day of my first date. Can the world ever love me? As per those unrealistic fairy tales, it is the chirping of birds and animals that wake you up and not your mother banging utensils. What do I call this place? It's too bad for heaven and I am sure it's not hell. Well yeah, it's hell but I don't want to jinx it. And to note that no land on Earth is like this. So can I say that I am a human living on another planet?
I don't know, there may be a fair chance.

Well, now that I'm up I should start getting ready. No fairy godmother will be doing some bibbidi bobbidi boo on this maid. I had earlier gotten a confirmation from the website that I will have a hickory-coloured dress with colourful Chinese pearls. I am not sure if it will suit me but I can't make any changes at this point. Anyway, it is the hair and makeup I have to do and I must say I have never done stuff like that. With a childhood like mine I never even had a penny to spend on something like makeup. As for my hair, I think I can pretty much manage that by borrowing something from my mother. And I guess I will have to borrow some makeup as well. FUCK. How can I be so stupid? I haven't even come up with an excuse that I'll tell my family to go out. Maybe I can tell them I am covering a shift for someone at work today. Plus they won't even mind if I come the next day because they're pretty much used to the odd timings considering I work at a pub.
Now let's get to work. After being completely sure that mother is anywhere around. I tiptoe to her room. A normal person would probably have failed at this and made a sound. But a person like me cannot possibly make any mistake while doing this. I have been doing this for years and after so many times of getting caught, I now know the places/spots that do not create a sound. Not even a single creak. I can pretty much call myself a pro at this. Safely and soundly, I reach my parents' room. Now I have to look for the hairdryer, gel, comb, and makeup bag. And yes I swear I'll return it later. I check the drawers and move onto the cupboards with no luck. So far I haven't even found a single thing.
What if I am looking at the wrong places?
If I were my mother where would I keep a hairdryer and some gel?
A bathroom, of course. Cause that's where you use it. Maybe the comb will be there too.
I slip through the creaking wooden tiles to the bathroom and there I find all I am looking for. The hair dryer, gel, comb and makeup bag are sitting as if they have been waiting for me. I grab them all and go back to my room.