it's just a book (KarlNap)

(2)

I look at the pen. It confuses me. It looks like it has a blood stain on the over off the book along with the pen witch has bloody finger prints.

I wonder who's it is. Can't be anyone's but mine. I get ready for bed. I end-up scrolling through twitter and tiktok until 3am. Who would off guessed that social media would be so addicting?

My head starts to hurt and I haven't heard my dad come home yet. Must be doing an all-nighter? Whatever. It doesn't matter. I don't care. He doesn't even care about me anyways.

I put my phone down onto my bedside table and try and sleep as I have school in the morning.
Did I do the presentation?
Did I have any homework?
6am.
Shit.

I'm ment to be asleep I have school at 7. As I close my eyes I end-up falling asleep almost within a second.

I soon hear my phones alarm go off. I click the x button and lay there for what feels like a couple seconds. Yet soon I hear.
"KARL. KARL JACOBS, GET YOUR ASS OUT OFF BED YOU LAZY-"
She cuts herself off before she finishes.

I check the time. 9:15. I'm already really late. Should I just not go? I made that decision already and I guess so did my mother? As I hear the door close. I'm home alone today as my siblings already left.

When I'm alone it's the happiest I'll ever be. I'm so glad I'm alone and I can just have a day to lay and cry. Run away from reality. I love it.

I listen to some music. Sweater Weather. My favourite song. Ever. It makes me so happy.

Shouting out the lyrics. Dancing, laughing at how I mess up the lyrics. I really wish I could spend this moment with someone through. Yet I always look for excuses to not show up.

I'm not good at school either. I had an exam today. I had homework due last night.

I look over to my desk assuming I'm properly going to check for homework on my laptop.
But I see the book. Journal? Still laying there. The pen sitting beside it.

I get drawn to it. To write something. But something's stopping me. It feels like I'm in slow motion. It feels like I'm going mad. I want to write in the book so badly but I can't. Instead I run downstairs. Into the kitchen.

Slowly I get some food. I'm still shaking. I look and look yet I couldn't find anything I want. I walk upstairs and start to get ready for the day. I put on black jeans long light-black shirt with a long-sleeved black and white stripped shirt underneath.