The Flying Dreams

CHAPTER FORTY-SIX

I saw Shifa before she did and for a good minute, I just stood outside the gates and stared at her profile. Sitting on the fence, she held her phone between her thumb and index finger, slowly rotating the slim gadget. I worried more about her phone than she did sometimes and whenever I did stop her from playing catch with it, she always looked a little too amused. Her torso slouched over a bit and the sleeves of her yet again overlarge sweater hung off her shoulders— I couldn't keep my smile at bay at the lavender colour of her sweater. Good thing I had decided to wear the hijab she gifted me. Stupid thing to be excited over, really.

I watched her watch the traffic and realized how creepy I was being a little too late, she had already craned her neck to glance back and she just kept looking. On instinct, I smoothed down my shawl, making a show of putting my phone inside my bag, anything to not see her looking at me and when I could no longer pretend to be busy with something so small, she had already gotten off the fence and started to walk toward me. With each step she took, I felt my heart getting lighter. The traffic moved behind her and the crowd before the campus served only as a background to her widening smile. Almost as if she was just as happy to see me, that my smile made her feel lighter, too.

Her lips parted and before directing her focus on me again, she looked around the place and in a small voice said only, "Hi."

I dropped my gaze to her hands and before I could I say anything, she immediately tightened her hold on her phone and chuckled.

"Hello."

I sometimes wondered how I had calculated her strange awkwardness wrong. She said she wasn't but what was I to make of those small moments when her mannerisms talked more truth than her lips? It had taken time, more time than I had anticipated, but I finally had her gestures figured out and memorized. And right then, the silence that followed after the greeting had her leaning on her front feet and her upper lip sucked in behind her teeth. I contemplated letting her stand there just to appease my own amusement and also as revenge for the times she had purposely put me in a similar situation. I almost did exactly that but realized that I couldn't. Sure, I would have loved to but my desire to know why she had asked to go together was bigger.

Sighing, I nodded my chin toward the road, "We need to get a shared ride to the station."

I moved past her and as I made took a step further to reach the bus stop, I felt the slightest touch on my arm. Gone before I even fully registered it but still the warmness of it remained like a pebble thrown on water and leaving behind the ripples of its presence. All the lightness vanished in a second and my heart raced at a very uncomfortable pace. I zoned my concentration on the bright yellow sign of a fruit stall. Embarrassingly enough, I had to count to ten before turning to face her. I just hoped my face was not getting the colour of a ripe tomato.

Shifa's brows furrowed and pulling her lower lip behind her teeth, she looked over my shoulder, "Well, I was thinking, you know, maybe, I mean—the station is not too far, and we could-" accidentally her eyes met mine and she vigorously shook her head, "-okay let's take an auto."

I understood what she was trying to say but that was the first time I had seen her acting like me whenever I was in her presence and the scene made me want to laugh in delight and a part of me wanted to keep the flow going. See how much she could stand. Definitely no longer than I could. But the question was- why was she being like this?

Instead of letting her know that I was okay with walking, I tilted my head and made the face of a confused cat. The lines on Shifa's face changed from slight humiliation to knowing in seconds as she raised her brows as if asking 'really?' and I couldn't keep the laughter from surfacing. I laughed without thinking as I often did with her and suddenly as I saw people around me, my mother's voice full of disappointment and disdain rang in my ears and the glee died down quickly with a steady hold. I didn't give Shifa time to ask anything and prompted her with a gesture to keep walking. If I had looked at her, I knew I would have met with familiar words which usually remained silent between us.

Her steps swiftly followed behind and I could just sense her brain working and knew something was coming before the words even left her mouth.

"So, guess what?"

The sun hung low in the sky and the faint blues of the moon threatened to take over the sun's shades of red. The days were blurring in a blink of an eye, and it reminded me how quickly my own wedding day was getting near. The air began to suffocate me and as I was going to reach for the hem of my hijab, two fingers took hold of my index finger and Shifa puffed her cheeks when I glanced at her. I didn't think before taking her hand in mine and her thumb drummed against my knuckles. The drumming went on for more than a minute and I, at last, found my voice.

"What?"

We passed the bus stop and Shifa in her stupid, gentle and melodious voice whined, "No! You have to guess."

"Shut up."

Her laugh soothed my guilt a bit and my lips tugged up. There was probably nothing to guess and she just wanted to talk about something to cross the distance of quiet stillness. It had happened enough times for me to know how she approached an unknown territory. Then she went on to tell me about the new series she started just a day ago and already spent the entire night finishing the first season. Usually, I would have made a comment on how unhealthy that was but there was something in my mind that kept nudging the walls. And I had to ask her this.

"Why did you ask to meet here?"

I kept my gaze forward and didn't risk looking at her. Shifa didn't give the answer right away. And I didn't feel even the tiniest of guilt for the question. She had given me the hardest time the past week and made the situation unnecessarily difficult. She tugged on my hand and that was when I realized that it was still pressed against hers. She halted and so did I, seeing she practically pulled me to stop. Narrowing my eyes at her in confusion, I followed her gaze and finally spotted a tea stall with a smattering of crowd circling around.

"I forgot. Maybe a cup of tea could make me remember why I did it."

I couldn't stay fixated on the answer when my own stomach demanded me to fill it with something, anything. I nodded and thought she would release my hand from her hold but instead, her grip just tightened and without a complaint, I followed her to the other end of the road. For tea. And for her reason of suddenly talking to me.