The Flying Dreams

CHAPTER FORTY-SEVEN

I stared at Shifa over the rim of my foam cup and wondered how she could like this tea. The taste of ginger was almost non-existent and boiled a bit too much. I hated that tea and made a quick mental note to make myself a good, huge mug after reaching the flat. That was a need after the talk with Divya. I had bought two packs of butter biscuits and as discreetly as I could, placed the cup by my side with having only one sip and wished it to cool down soon, so I could make excuse of it being lukewarm. Nobody could drink cold tea that wasn't meant to be cold. But Shifa seemed to love the tasteless tea. She hadn't even looked at me once after giving me the red foam cup and the biscuits, her fingers too cautious to accidently touch mine. I thought she would at least come and sit on the same bench with me but instead, she chose to sit right across me with another bench in between. I knew what she was doing and refused to give her the space. She asked to have tea so she could tell me why she decided to suddenly be on friendly terms.

Picking up my bag, I manoeuvred around the bench and toward her, I slid beside her, in the moment of haste, my knee graced her jean clad thigh and Shifa shifted away as if I had a high flame on my legs and intended to burn her with it. I decided to ignore the action. One of us had to be at a distance, I was glad she did it.

I extended my palm toward her, "Biscuit?"

Shifa took two. Didn't offer any thanks and I sat still with my bag on my lap, wondering how I could feel completely at ease with eating in a public place in the evening, the sky was almost dark. Though, I realized I was made a fool by Shifa. There was no way she was going to tell me anything she didn't want to but, I still hoped she would be honest with her reason. That for once, she would open up.

"I was in the market nearby and thought we could go home together."

"Market?"

Shifa nodded and turned toward me, a brief glance over my head and quickly went back to look at the busy traffic, "To buy a few things. For the wedding."

I had almost forgotten that she would be returning to Lucknow with me. Her brother and cousin were getting married and of course, she would be present. Her mother, obviously, did not say anything about her hair this time. And as selfish as it sounded, I wished she had, that had managed to stop Shifa from attending the engagement ceremony and the probability of it happening again was high. She would return after a week, and I had no idea when I would or if I ever would. I had tried asking Ummi but all she said was, Let's see, all rests on Wahab now. And after that talk, thrice I encouraged myself in the mirror to just ask Wahab, but my voice betrayed me whenever I did try to bring up the topic of my next semester. He seemed only interested in casual conversation about random matters, and recently all of them lead to only one thing—our honeymoon. A thing I dreaded more than anything but still listened with a devotion of a fanatic. He had gotten bolder with his words, and I grew to be quieter.

"Where's your tea?"

"I left it over there."

Shifa laughed and for a tiny fraction of time, I felt my own lips parting in a grin.

"Not surprised. It tastes shitty."

"You seemed to like it."

No word came from her side, and I took the time to look about. I had never lingered after college, and it didn't shock me how unfamiliar the neighbourhood looked. That was exactly how my own hometown appeared to be sometimes when Ummi couldn't find the perfect colour for hijab to match with her clothes in the local bazaar.

"Tomorrow is my master's entrance test."

I turned to meet her eyes and hoped the delightful surprise didn't show on my face. She had never talked about her own plans after graduation and often avoided any conversation regarding the topic of her career. Fear, perhaps, of humiliation if she failed to get into her desired field. Whatever drove her to suddenly disclose the information, I didn't question it. I gave her a nod she couldn't see and Shifa's smile continued talking before her lips did.

"I've been meaning to look into a hostel programme."

"Why? You have a nice flat."

Shifa bobbled her head, unsure if she should tell me the reason. She scrunched up her nose and looked over my shoulder once before her eyes settled on my face, "Jihan bhai pays for it and soon he will have a family and I can't expect him to keep paying for my education," she shrugged and took out her phone, "Besides, the flat costs more than one entire year of college."

"Then how are you going to pay?"

The question had been a constant in her mind, it seemed as her shoulders rose and fell in a defined, practised manner. She raised a playful brow, "I... haven't really thought about it."

"Yes, you have."

She chuckled and waited for a second. I wondered if she had counted to ten.

"I have applied in night call centres, so, let's see," she dragged the so and tried her best to sound casual and uncaring but everything in her tight posture, from the narrowed brows to her hooked ankle, seemed tangled with nerves and worry.

I shouldn't have asked the next question but the words poured out before I had the power to stop them, "Why? I mean, can't your father do something?"

This time, Shifa shifted her torso and the hard expression on her face made me duck my head in shame that I even I asked. I knew her parents and yet... the plan she had on her hands was bound to weigh her down.

"Yes, he can do something. Like drag me back to Lucknow or force me into a marriage, my mother would absolutely love that," she scoffed through her nose, "He can do so much; you have no idea."

"I am sorry. I didn't-"

"I know, it's... no. It's fine," she drew in a long breath and exhaled through her parted lips before shaking her head, "I am just a little scared."

I dropped the loose stitch on my bag and placed my hand atop her. To my surprise, she didn't pull away. She didn't really do anything, just inclined her head and I knew her gaze rested on the back of my hand. My heartbeat raced behind my chest, and I gathered the courage to squeeze her fingers. I didn't know what she wanted to hear and thus kept the silence which only lasted for a minute.

"Okay, I think we should go now."

I was a little disappointed but knew pushing her wouldn't do anything good.

I retreated my hand and she stood up, dusted the back of her pale blue jeans, and went into the stall to pay. I followed her action and rose to my feet, slung the bag on my shoulder and waited for her to come back. No words were exchanged until we reached her flat. Thankfully, she got a seat besides me after a man left it vacant on the second station and fished out her earphones, silently offering one to me and didn't mind the loud beats of foreign music. I wished that I could tell her how afraid I was, too but decided not to. When we got off the metro, the sky was completely dark and Shifa asked as she opened the door, and stepped aside to let me in, "Tea?"