Between the Lines (Throne of Glass)

Shattered (Angst)

Something was breaking, splintering into pieces so jagged and deformed John couldn't recognize what it had been in the first place. He didn't want to know. He didn't want to see. He refused to remember.

Refused to let the monster bear its claws, sneer with its sinister grin. That smile, it was wrong. Ensnaring, deceiving, ruthless and ready to cut. To kill. But the monster wasn't something John could run from.

You can't run from yourself.

So, he learned to hide. And he was good at it. Smothering himself with layers to cover what lived underneath, slipping behind the cracks in the mirror to refract carefree strides and unafraid glares.

This was fine. He was fine. Everything was fine. He was happy, John was finally happy, right?

Wasn't he?

John smiled, the kind that was closed lip, unsure. 'Of course, I am. Of course.'

Of all his talents, lying as smoothly as a criminal was by far the greatest one he possessed. Until it possessed him.

When the darkness came and swallowed him whole like the starving crest of a crashing wave, he lay paralyzed. Stuck between his past and his present, the line distinguishing the two dissipating more and more like a thinning fog. Leaving him trapped between the monster and who he wanted to be. Who he was trying to be.

Who he couldn't be. At least, that's what the monster told him. It always insisted that all of these efforts, these years of forcing it away were futile. The break was inevitable, impending. 

And the monster was not a liar. 

It was raw pain, anger incarnate. Built up rage and injustice all poured into the bloodthirsty frame of-

No! No. John closed his eyes, tucking the thought into the back recesses of his mind. Turned away the mirror and plastered on a smile stretching into the bounds of insane. He was fine. He was fine...

But perhaps he wasn't as good a liar as he had thought.

Gasping, John startled as scenes suddenly swam through his head. A dam of images shattered through against his will and flooded his mind with flashes of war. His eyes were wide open yet blinded with memories-stained red. There was so, much, red-!

Then there was a familiar touch, one as soothing as sunshine on your skin. It pulled him free of the deluge, and everything came to a stop. John inhaled sharply, his vision refocusing on the vision that was his best friend.

"John, what was that? Are you okay?" Seraphina, the aforementioned best friend (and more) of two years gripped his shoulder, snapping him out of whatever nightmare he was in. She already knew he wasn't okay, that much was obvious. She just needed to know why. What exactly was wrong? John didn't bat an eye at his bullies or the bruises and broken bones. That was nothing to him. Yet here he was trembling, shaking like a leaf in hard winds. Why did he look so scared? For as long as she'd known him, John wasn't scared of anything. Anything real at least, he insisted horror movies didn't count.

John broke into a grin, sheepish and teasing. He ran his fingers through his ebony locks, the tangled curls stubbornly resisting to be tamed. The monster scratched his scalp, burned his eyes and clenched his jaw with repressed fear. It too resisted its cage. It began to tick and twitch, as restless as a clock. Seraphina's hand, still on his shoulder, squeezed him gently in reassurance.

The monster held still.

Elation rose, a brilliant sunrise on his mood. John was beaming now. Yes, he was fine. The monster wasn't a big deal. The truth could stay hiding, just a little longer. He had Sera, and she kept the monster away.

This was okay. Everything was okay.

He wasn't breaking. Not at all.

Meeting her eyes, his gaze warm and golden, hers icy blue, he reached for her hand with a dismissively raised brow. Brushing his lips across her knuckles, he entwined their fingers together with a vice hold.

"I'm doin' a lot better, now that you're here."

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690 words

Otae! This was a little dark one, made for an English assignment. Writing angst has always been real easy for me because, ahem, pain, but um anyways-This was short and sweet to get the theme across, I've never really written short prompts much before, so this was a cool experiment. (I'm going to try and get the next chapter of Throne of Glass out today, so If you haven't checked out my other book yet and voted on the chapters, I encourage it!)