I love you, SUNNY || HIKIKOMARI au ||

Chapter seven - shame

HERO  grabs me by the wrist dragging me closer to him. He pulls out a knife and points towards my neck. "HERO! W-what are you doing...?" I cried out. HERO was shacking as his grip became tighter. "Listen, MARI! This was our fault! It is all our fault it happened to SUNNY! So this is the only way to solve this!" I gasp trying to move myself away from him. "E-eh? Please... Don't..." HERO extends his arm and plunges it into my chest. "HERO-" I gagged as The blood shot out from the wound. I fall to my knees. "I'll kill you!" HERO screamed. As soon as his knife began to be aimed at my head I hold HERO's arm. 

He stops aiming towards me as I can feel his body shake both in fear and in anger. "But, HERO! If you really feel that guilty then why try to kill me?" Tears keep rolling down as I manage to swallow one. I can feel the salty yet sweet sensation. "It's cause I.... I... I know It's also my fault, but.... I don't want to die!" I punch him in the eye. His hand lets go of the knife as it launches into the ceiling. The punch leaves a blue mark on his eye. "Well then if you really hate yourself and feel so guilty about it why don't you just kill yourself!" 

I grab his knife and plunge it into his leg. He yells in pain. HERO pushes me away as my back slams onto the closed door behind me. I once again see the same darkness that covered him before. As HERO was about to punch me he suddenly breaks down in tears. He crouches to the floor and starts sobbing uncontrollably. I point the knife towards his neck and slit it open. Blood poured as it reached to the ground making a puddle. I started slowly standing up. 

HERO grabbed me by the neck and stanched the knife away from me. His grip becomes stronger. I can slowly feel myself blacking out. As soon as everything turns black I feel a sharp pain in my eye though I cannot move. Everything is pitch black.

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I find myself in a wide church looking area. Everything is black. Even the chairs as well as the floor. The only sound filling the room is the pure sound of my footsteps. I barely remember anything that happened before, but I continue to walk. The further I walk the more I can spot a familiar figure. The figure of a piano. I walk on top of the stage and sit on the chair. The piano beholds also a music sheet. Looking at it I soon realise that it is the same exact note sheet of the song me and SUNNY used to play.

I put the note sheet back in place. Placing my hands on the piano I can feel the cold sensation of the keys. The piano is slightly out of tune making me a bit more stressed, but I manage to continue on with the song. I start to remember the good times I had with SUNNY as well as the bad times. This song feels so incomplete without him playing the violin. 

I suddenly mess up mid song and rest my head on the piano. I don't feel like playing anymore. Tears falling down my eyes reach the keys of the piano. I close my eyes. I don't want to play anymore. Playing just makes me feel the depressing emotion of what it feels like when SUNNY is dead. I just have to accept that I will never succumb. 

Though sadness floods over me I still feel a small sensation of stress and anger. I hit my hands against the piano. If I had enough strength I would've already broken it in shreds. I begin to scream in agonising pain. "SUNNY.... Why? Why did I do that to you? Why? Why?" Realising what I have just done I keep hitting my hands against the piano making it release out of tune noises. Soon I realise I had bashed my hands against the piano hard enough to make myself bleed.

I try to calm myself down, but this never ending stress and depression still lies within me. Suddenly the room fades into white. Looking in the distance I see another version of me. As I head towards her I get greeted with the cold sensation of white space. She stares at me as she swings her knife. "You weren't meant to remember....." 

She launches her knife towards me as it plunges into my stomach. I feel a sharp pain, but I cannot react. "AUBREY loved him and you killed him." She takes the knife out of my chest as I let the blood pour. i try striking back at her by punching. Though it left a mark it seems as though it barely did anything to her. I tried gathering myself, but as soon as I was about to take a deep breath I feel a sharp pain in my leg. The same pain I felt before.