Heart&Seoul || jjk/kth/bts

Chapter 10: I'll be patient

Jungkook

How lovely to have a nice dinner out with my family. My brother Jung-hyun doesn't seem capable of variation, his life only revolves around his monotonous job and occasionally his girlfriend Byul-yi, having conversations with him feels like repeatedly banging my head against the wall. My step-mum is too full of herself to talk about something other than her workouts, her customers, her gym, and her diet plan for all of us. Jung-hyun seems more genetically related to her than our dad.

Dad is the only one who can make these meals bearable. I hardly even say anything and prefer to listen to him talk about his job. His face lights up every time he mentions his students, his voice dripping with passion. He loves being a professor, interacting with people my age, helping them through their academic life as much as possible. His cold façade hides a big heart that beats for his family and his job. I wish my professors were as much an inspiration as he is. My main goal in life is to be guided by that same dedication. I'd rather be dead than live without passion.

"I've seen two new exchange students around. They seem to be European," he says after bringing a glass of wine to his lips.

My head shoots up before I realise how much attention it draws to me. "What?" my dad asks. I try to look convincing as I wave him off. I hate that I can't dig up a little and gather some information about them. It'd violate their privacy, my dad would never tell me more than this.

I shake my head and he resumes talking. "Haseul is doing a good job tutoring them, but I'll probably have to cover her shift later this week because she's holding a convention in Tokyo."

"You always work side to side with Haseul, how come they don't invite you to any convention?" Jung-hyun's question sounds more like a whine. It never surprises me when people struggle to guess who's the eldest brother. I'm two years younger than him, but he still behaves like a teenager most of the time. I casually fill up my plate again, trying hard not to let my mind flashback to that one blue-haired girl.

"Don't you think that's enough?" Jung-hyun grabs me by the wrist. I stare at him, then follow his gaze that is judging the amount of food I'm pouring into my plate. He's right, I shouldn't eat so much. I put a spoonful of rice and meat back into the bowl, then another one, and another one. Yesterday I didn't exercise as hard as I had planned, I have to do better tomorrow.

After dinner I allow my stomach to digest the food I ate, then head for our house gym to make up for the workout session I failed to complete yesterday. I change into comfortable clothes as soon as I step into the room. My eyes scan my bare torso after removing my T-shirt. The reflection I see in the mirror doesn't meet my expectations yet. A thin layer of fat is forming on my abdomen as a result of all the times I was too lazy to work out. I must get rid of it. Besides, I've focussed on strengthening my arms and legs when I should've done more fat-burning exercises. On letting out a frustrated groan, I snatch a freshly washed T-shirt from the wall hangers and put it on to hide my imperfect body from my sight.

I start off with some stretching to warm up. I then walk up to the ab bench and repeat as many sit-up sets as I possibly can. I give myself a one-minute rest before moving on to planks, crunches, lunges and finally, my personal favourite, boxing. When I wear my gloves I feel like I can conquer the whole planet. Every punch I throw is a way to show myself I'm worth it. Worthy of admiration, success, approval, recognition. The punching bag is the embodiment of all the obstacles on my path. I strike with every ounce of determination I have left in my soul, until my breath fails me and my muscles don't respond anymore. I only stop once my vision gets blurry. It's time to rest, although I wish I could continue beating up my punching bag the same way I'd punch myself for not believing my worth.