Dead King's Sword (Old Draft)

44. Broken

Zeren

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Everything that begins must end. And so, my time at Champion's Magic Academy had reached its conclusion. The school was temporarily shutting its doors due to security issues and as a way of paying homage to the three students who had lost their lives within the space of one month. I gazed at Erin's bed, which lay unmade, her white comforter ruffled as if waiting for her to return after a busy day of classes. I drew my suitcase closed. I was uncertain what path to take and where to go from here. Was there another school that would accept a troubled student like me? Had I burned my bridges? Were my efforts this semester good enough to convince other schools I had changed?

"Zeze!" My younger sister opened the door and stepped inside. She was tall but shorter than me, slender from the waist up and chunky below. One of her favourite hobbies was chasing boys. Today, it was Yousif, tomorrow, Nico, and the next day, someone else. I had stopped keeping track of her ever-changing crushes a long while ago. Samantha's pecan skin glowed as a radiant smile crossed her face. Her long braids trailed as she rushed into the room and gave me a hug. She released me and said, "Dad's waiting outside. He's worried that you won't be able to get into another prestigious school without Erin's dad's help." She looked across the room at Erin's empty bed. "Where is Erin anyways? I wanted to know what she thought of this skirt." Samantha spun, and her blue skirt flared as she twirled till she came to a stumbling stop. I pressed my hand to her shoulder, steadying her.

"Erin's gone."

"Did you piss her off again?"

"I don't know; she just left." My fingers clenched and splayed by my side.

Samantha scanned my face, hummed thoughtfully, and said, "Well, we should get going." She took the handle of my suitcase.

"I can't find one of my earrings," I said, dropping to my knees and looking under the bed.

"Which one?"

"The one I usually wear to performances."

"You can buy another one."

"No. It has to be that one. It and I had a connection; dad gave it to me when I was depressed, and it... it gave me the strength to do what I loved. Nothing can replace it."

"Zeren...."

"I can't live without it. It's the only thing that has constantly been there for me. Everything else that I've come to care about vanishes. I loved Mom, but she never felt the same way though she carried me for nine months; you would think after spending that much time with someone, you would develop some attraction to them but no.... there was never any love when she looked at me."

"You have to let her go, Zeren. She isn't worth the time we waste thinking about her."

"You don't understand. It's different for you. You are two years younger than me; you barely remember anything, but I tried to meet her expectation for years only to fail time and time again till I came to hate myself."

"I remember plenty. I remember Mom never showed up for any of our talent shows. I remembered she came home drunk on my birthday and fell asleep without saying anything, wearing the clothes of a man that wasn't Dad. I remembered Dad staying up late and crying at the kitchen table by himself in the dark when he thought we had all fallen asleep. I know Mom doesn't deserve you. She doesn't deserve any of us. Let her go, or you'll cause yourself unnecessary pain."

"It's not just her. It's the school. I like it here; I like my teachers and classes. Principal Bast was one of the best people I've ever met, and now this place is closing...."

"It will reopen."

"But when? When I'm old and wrinkled?"

"When the security improves."

I stood and laughed bitterly. We waited in silence for a spell, then I spoke softly, "I told Erin I liked her."

Samantha closed her eyes and pressed her fingers to her eyelids, then dropped her hand, her lids parted, and her eyes, bright as the full moon, watched me with increased scrutiny. "You were with her for a few weeks? How do you go from 'I'm going to kill her' to 'I love her'? Mind you, I've always thought you liked her, but I imagined it would be a thousand years till you realized it on your own. So, what happened?"

"Nothing happened. I told Erin I liked her; she left the room and never returned." I could still see her back in my mind's eye as I watched her leave.

My sister sighed. "I'm sorry, Zeze." She hugged me again; her hand rubbed circles on my back. My chin rested on her head, and I returned her embrace. Samantha said, "You know, I've always thought Erin was an asshole. You're better off without her. Besides, I'm sure there's someone else out there for you. Dad told me you had a date with the princess... maybe send her a letter?"

"Anne was kidnapped, and no, I don't think I would ever know her well enough to love her. She and I never got the opportunity to connect on a deeper level. We come from different classes; we have different values. There's no reason for us to ever be anything more than friends."

"Well, there are other girls."

"I don't like being hurt or abandoned, so I think I learned my lesson this time. I'll never love again."

"Zeren...."

"No, I've thought about it long and hard, and this is the last time I'll ever risk letting someone in."

Samantha sighed but said nothing more. Eventually, there comes a moment when we run out of words and can only fall silent, dumb when faced with someone else's despair as Sam did now.

***