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55

"Ryan, you okay?"

"Yeah."

"Are you sure?"

"Uhuh."

"I don't think you are."

"That's nice."

"I don't think you're even listening."

"Uhuh, and then what happened?"

Ryan slumped into the table at the cafe only five minutes after Robin had left. Admittedly, he felt a little on edge. A week without Robin sounded painful.

He learned, after meeting her, that a week could feel like an awfully long time. Hell, it felt like they had known her for years, but, it hadn't even been three months. So, what was a week going to do to him?

He promised himself he wouldn't use her as a lifeline, when he got pushed to the edge and things felt harder to handle, he liked being able to turn to her and see her in front of him. He liked knowing she could turn to him if she needed to. But she couldn't do that if she was away for a week or longer. He felt like it was going to be forever, he felt like he needed to tell her. If not now, then when?

What if...? What if something happened to her while she was away? What if he never got the chance to tell her because he was being stupid?

"Ryan." A flick to his head caught his attention and he turned, wide-eyed, to face Leo.

"Hm?" He glanced around, acknowledging how the sky outside seemed to be darkening already. What time was it? How long had it been since the day started and he found himself waking in a bed somewhere safe?

"What's wrong with you? You've been frowning at the table for the last ten minutes. Are you that bummed that she's going away for a week?"

"...No." Ryan said, not meeting anybody's eyes as the words slipped from him after too much thought.

"You're an awful liar."

"Really," Fox shook his head, "you're the one who refuses to talk to her about how you feel. You can't expect her to read your mind. You know she can be oblivious with this stuff."

Ryan sank, shrinking into his seat. He didn't want to tell her how he felt for so many reasons. Scared of the denial, scared of ruining things, scared to ruin her like he ruined so many other things. They made it sound like an easy thing to do, as if they hadn't spent their whole lives turning people down with smiles that were too perfect or words too blunt. But this wasn't that, this was the exact opposite of that.

"She thinks I hate her."

Oscar turned, his eyes speaking more than his words could. He was confused, both raising and furrowing his eyebrows with a tilted head.

"How do you know that?"

Leo was silent now, just watching, listening and waiting until he felt there was room to safely add the words in his mind.

"She said so."

"Would she really say that?" Joel added to the questions.

Ryan sank further, barely above the table anymore.

"She was emotional... but she said 'you hate me. If not now, then you will.' That pretty much spoke for itself."

Fox sat up, dropping his chair onto all four legs. He only did that when he was getting up, or he was readying to involve himself further in the situation. And from the way he didn't move further than the edge of his seat, Ryan was left to assume it was the latter.