Another issue he noticed was Luz's sadness over not being able to speak her second language so frequently, and her fear that if she was away from home too long she would lose the language completely. Hooty was familiar with a little of the language Luz called Spanish, he assumed the words "molestoso" and "que asco" that she used frequently directed at him were some variation of "amazing" or "best friend".
Hooty ventures out for 2 weeks and tries to gather any information about the Spanish language. This long adventure takes him to at one point stare at the sleeping face of a stranger for 2 hours unblinking. Finally he starts hearing about an owl who specializes in language, however he is feared for many of his clients who are found dead after even one missed lesson. Hooty is frightened by this but also excited.
After finding out where this owl lives he breaks into his home and knocks over his favorite mug and burns his family album (by accident).
"¡Hola pendejo! ¡Soy Duolingo! Pourquoi sei in meinem 房子?" coughs duolingo owl (hi stupid! I am duolingo! Why are you in my house)
"Hoot hoot I want you to give me spanish lessons, I'll pay in the blood of innocents or bugs, whichever you prefer" whispers hooty
"سأعطيك الدروس tiam sis kuv yuav ceeb toom koj os ydych chi'n fy siomi i invertunt tuum ribcage s jednou křídlovou klapkou" says duolingo owl in an ominous tone (I shall give you lessons but I will warn you if you disappoint me I will invert your ribcage with a single wing flap)
"I'm not sure what you said but I'll take that as a yes" squeaks Hooty
The two move to a candle lit dinner. Before the lessons begin Hooty goes into a five and a half hour lecture on his life story occasionally pausing to aggressively gobble down the rat carcasses. Duo was entranced but remained professional once the lessons began.
Duo started with the basics
"The boy" ~el niño
"The man?" ~ el hombre
"The girl" ~la niña
"The woman" ~la mujer
"Yo soy un hombre" ~I am a man
"Yo soy una mujer" ~I am a woman
Complete the sentence: Una niña, una ___ ~mujer
How do you say "I" ~yo
"A woman." ~ Una mujer
"A man"~Un hombre
A/N: free spanish lesson, give me 20 dollars
Hooty parroted each word beeyouteafully, each time he successfully completed a lesson Duo gave him a compliment which made hooty blush, unused to affirmations given in his direction. After completing another section Duo spoke "great work! Let's make this a bit harder"
A montage flashed before YOU, YES YOU picture this Hooty's face was in a smile with Duolingo clapping next to him. Then another scene passed where Duo put a cooling towel behind Hooty's neck as Hooty looked constipated while trying to concentrate. There was another scene flash where Hooty was crying while eating ice cream as Duo shook his head holding one of Hooty's hearts, blood dripping down his talons after getting a question wrong. Then there was yet another flash of Hooty and Duolingo dancing in celebration. Then finally there was a scene flash of Duolingo giving Hooty a ball of fire with a 1 on it as Hooty had happy tears in his eyes. (All this while Dwayne the rock johnson verse in face off blasted)
"I think I'm done for today" panted hooty who felt exerted after using his brain for more time then he was accustomed too. Duo looked disappointed but agreed.
Throughout the following weeks Hooty learned that Duo had a darker side, he was persistent in his reminders and when his spanish improved so did his ability to understand Duo's grim threats. Hooty was into it though.
Hooty worked on making it up to Ed for his new found criminality by setting him up on a date with a pile of snow (piss free). The date was successful and Ed was in tears happy with his soulmate.
"I hope you'll find love too Hooty" Ed said through tears
"I'm not sure life has that in store for someone like me" says hooty "Pero recientamente no estoy tan seguro..." (But recently I'm not so sure...)
*~*
Hooty has gone to Duoling's place every day, never missing a lesson. On one beauty dayday Hooty is nervous and is sweat on brow when duo arrives. Duo does his signature 5 hour dance greeting before entering.
Hooty speaks up " duo I want to show you something I've working on for the past 69 minutes, I put my everything in it so please listen closely.
Suddenly all the lights switch off except for one spotlight on Hooty. The world seemed to still as Hooty began to sing.
"Oh, tú, tú eres el imán y yo soy el metal
Me voy acercando y voy armando el plan
Solo con pensarlo se acelera el pulso (oh yeah)
Ya, ya me estás gustando más de lo normal
Todos mis sentidos van pidiendo más
Esto hay que tomarlo sin ningún apuro
Despacito
Quiero respirar tu cuello despacito
Deja que te diga cosas al oído
Para que te acuerdes si no estás conmigo
Despacito
Quiero desnudarte a besos despacito
Firmar las paredes de tu laberinto
Y hacer de tu cuerpo todo un manuscrito (sube, sube, sube)
(Sube, sube) Oh"
Hooty pauses, everybody is silent for 10 minutes
"What did you think????" Asques hooty
There is a tear in Duo's eye and he finally speaks "that was poggers, no one has ever survived as long as you have...I...I think...it turns me on"
Then they make out aggressively
