west side, ashtray; season one

2

valerie

--

we had 2 more days until me and andrew had to go on a 5 hour drive to california, highland. i was looking forward to it. new place, new me.

i lied, i'll still be the same me but ill just get to start fresh. no more grudges held against me because of my brother and no more annoying teenage boys who like to slap my ass everywhere i go.

but if im being honest i think it'll the same there.

--

i sat in the car riding shotgun with andrew driving. 'you excited kid?' andrew said gripping the steering wheel.

what can i say? im not excited but im not upset either. 'eh,' i say. he just nods and starts to reverse onto the main road.

this whole week i was packing, i knew i was moving in with someone else so i packed the stuff i needed most, like clothes, make up, personal things etc. i didn't bother saving things that i didn't use or need. the rest of my furniture was taken by some moving furniture men and taken to a rented storage unit that andrew bought until we had a house.

i haven't texted any of my friends this whole week and i wasn't planning to. feeling guilt of just leaving them was the last thing i wanted when i arrived in cali.

but the guilt of me thinking that was enough for me to text my closest friend.

me
hey ania.

ania🥸
hey valllll

me
i just wanted to tell you that im moving today to cali...

ania🥸
bitch what?

me
yeah i just found out and i had to pack real quick, sorry:/

i lied again. i didn't want her to be mad at me that i kept this away from her for like 2 weeks. ania was a great friend and all but she would always get extremely mad over the smallest things and not talk to me for the longest time until i would apologise, but i would always apologise no matter what. if it was my fault or not i would be first person to apologise and i would try my hardest to not let it happen again just to save the embarrassment of me saying sorry to stupid things. that was my problem. ania usually took advantage over my 'obsession' of saying sorry just to make herself feel better. i never took it to heart but it did bother me sometimes.

i closed my phone and just sat there in the car looking out the window. andrew must've saw me looking upset because he started turning the radio louder and singing along to it.

it were times like this that actually felt like he was my brother and not just someone i happen to live with.

i smiled at him and he leaned towards me.
'this is the best for both of us, you don't have to worry' he said as he stopped at a red light and looked at me. i hummed in response. 'i might get an actual job and we can go more places this year, i know you like travelling,' he said as the light in front of us turned into a blinding orange light. he started to drive off and i just sat there leaning my head on the window.

i loved travelling but ever since my parents died me and andrew haven't went anywhere on holiday. my parents werent extremely rich but they were able to pay for a holiday abroad at least once a year or so.

my parents died when i was 4 and andrew was 15. they went to a friends party and my dad got drunk which caused them to crash. i barely remember anything about them except the holidays that we went on.

the signal went out on the road so i got spammed as soon as i got one bar of signal which scared me since i was about to fall asleep.

ania🥸
val
u bein fr?
how can u just leave today with absolute no knowledge of leaving before hand?
wow
but have fun ig.
read 10:46

i looked down at my phone and placed it in the cup holder. i was too tired so respond so i had a nap until andrew woke me up.

--

'hey, wake up valerie,' andrew said shaking me awake. 'you slept for all five hours man, i don't know how but you know..' he said whilst parallel parking.

shit. i need to piss like mad, im also so hungry since i haven't eaten anything all morning and it's almost 4pm.

andrew got out the car and walked to a apartment complex infront of us where a skinny man, probably about 25, met him and hugged him. i could hear the muffled voices of the two talking but didn't pay attention. i leaned back into the car chair groaning.

i looked over at andrew and i saw him point towards me for the man to see me. the man nodded and gestured with his hand to come over to them. so i did.

i walked out the car and stood next to andrew who gave me and side hug. 'ahh, hello valerie, i heard a bit about you. how are you?' he said smiling. 'im ok thanks.' i said as nonchalantly as possible because i just wanted to go inside and pee. he nodded and stood there in an awkward silence for a good minute before andrew nudged me hard in my side. i groaned and grabbed my side but quickly let go since we were standing infront of the man and i didn't want to seem weird.

'uhm, how are you...?' i said purposely missing out his name so he can tell me. 'my names damien and im good too, thanks for asking.' he said extending his hand out to me. i took it and shook it before he turned around and led us into his apartment.

--

after a tour of the house i quickly ran to the toilet and sighed out of exhaustion. i left the bathroom and sat next to andrew on the couch. 'home sweet home,' he laughed. i rolled my eyes and remembered how hungry i was, i didn't eat all day. 'yo if you guys are hungry there's a small shop at the corner of the road, just walk straight ahead for a couple of minutes,' damien told us like he was reading my mind.

i sat up straight and andrew looked at me. i nodded and he stood up to get his wallet from the car. i sat there waiting for him until he came.

surprising he came back quite quickly and gave me a 20 dollar note. i smiled and walked out the door.

au
LOLLL i just realised that half of my writing is just me waffling. also im on holiday with no wifi so my parents are looking at me like im mad while im typing knowing im not talking to anyone💀

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