Memento Mori

Weathered Down My Selfish Needs

Thursday, October 10

Max

Nathan hasn't said a word since they left.

Max didn't exactly expect a breakdown by now but there was hope for at least some kind of reaction that assured her that he was still on their side and not planning to go to Mr. Jefferson alone as he said before. 

Mr. Jefferson.

The name leaves a bitter taste on her tongue.

All those lessons about photography, him demanding a picture for the everyday heroes contest so they can leave a footprint in the art industry...everything feels like a sick joke to her now. He never cared about the students or give a shit about their future. 

He drugs girls instead.

Rachel is dead.

And you are next, Max, damn it!

The stair creaks with every step she takes, each one louder than the other. Anger has her leap off the short distance even faster. If she had more time, she would have rethought her decision. Time of all things. It makes her smile ruefully because she really doesn't have much and in a few hours, she will be another Kate or Rachel depending on their master plan. She can't even think of Chloe right now. She wouldn't blame Chloe if she wants to bail from Arcadia after what happened today. 

It's not until she hears the loud music coming from Courtney's room that she remembers why she came here.

"Uh...I have to go to my room first. I was looking after Alice so-" She stops abruptly, realizing Nathan never asked for any kind of explanation. "You're kind of scaring me right now. What's wrong?"

His mouth opens like he may start ranting about his shitty life as usual but his lips waver instead. In fear? 

"Nathan?"

"Why are we doing this?"

Huh? "What?"

"Why the fuck are you letting yourself get in trouble, Caulfield? I was ready to fucking meet my maker so why?"

Is he serious right now? Max eyes him for any kind of mockery in his gaze but she only finds disbelief in return. Even before the bruises caused by Warren's alpha punches, the dark circular spots under his eyes suggests what he has gone through in the last twenty-four hours. Wowser. Of course, he still hasn't gotten over Jefferson's threats.

"Look, Nathan. After what happened...for one tiny second I was happy that you were going to face the consequences of your own actions. I can't just forget what you did to Kate and the other girls-"

"And I'm not asking you to!" He scoffs, taking a step closer. "I never asked you to, Caulfield. I-I know what I did, ok? And I am sorry, I am so sorry."

"I don't deserve your apology. Kate does."

"I-I tried. I-fuck! I tried apologizing to her but she is not ready and I guess that's ok. There are so many I need to apologize to. You should have just left me to deal with Mark."

It assures Max a little that at least he knows what he did and is ready to atone but the way he's going about it...

"Listen! I know what you did but this isn't the way to go about things. You need help, Nathan, not condemnation. If I let you go to him...there won't be a difference between me and th-that sick bastard! Besides, you really think Jefferson will let you go once he gets caught?" The thought has been dancing in her head for a while but saying it aloud makes both of them wince. "What you told me so far...he's incredibly clever. If it comes to trials, he's hundred percent gonna blame you. Making the darkroom under the Prescott barn doesn't help either."