Her own way

Chapter 2 {Re-Edited}

Little Katrina sat on the rug by the fire. At six years old, she had seen so much in a very short space of time. Her toy cat, the only remainder of her playthings, was clutched tightly in her grasp. She had turned into a quiet child, no longer brimming with energy after all that had happened especially after the loss of her father.

Katrina switched her gaze from the fire to her mother and back again, thoughts running through her child brain at a rapid pace. It had been several weeks since they had left their home at Earendel, and most of all she longed to be held by her father. If Daddy were around then Mummy wouldn't cry, she was sure of it. Today was one of the days where Mummy would do some work instead of looking out the window. Katrina didn't know what Mummy was looking for, and the day she tried to find out was the first time her mother had ever shouted at her. It was a terrifying moment that she did not want to repeat, so Katrina spent her time on the rug playing with her only toy.

It was easy for her to notice differences in her mother since they left home - her normally pretty dark hair was dull and looked like it needed a good brushing, her eyes no longer held a sparkle of mischief instead they had faded to a lifeless shade of blue. Sarah's overall appearance had deteriorated significantly since she and Katrina had assumed at the cabin, meals were poorer and on a bad day, Sarah could actually forget to prepare a meal for either of them, leaving Katrina to either starve for the day or sneakily look in the cupboards for something small to munch on. Katrina witnessed these good and bad days constantly and she was always left feeling confused as to which version of Mummy she would have each day.

 Sarah was suffering, as hard as she tried it was near impossible not to let Katrina know there was something wrong. In the days following the battle on Earendel Moors Sarah knew in her heart that her husband was no more, that her child no longer had a father. It wasn't until the end of the first long, lonely week that the news had filtered through the kingdom that Lord Samuel Hunter, the best swordsman of the land, had been slain in battle and that his family had mysteriously vanished. There were rumours too, one that Princess Sarah had fled, leaving her home and family behind to be with another lover, another that King Raphael of the neighbouring kingdom, the one who supposedly massacred their home, had kidnapped both Sarah and Katrina. The third rumour hit too close to the target for Sarah's liking - that she and little Kat had escaped to the far side of the kingdom, away from friend and foe who were both searching to find them. Four weeks into the solitude of Teufel Woods brought little comfort to Sarah. The few times she dared venture into the village brought on such a panic that often brought suspicious looks from stall owners as they sold her the meagre items she requested. There were days when she lacked the will to do more than sit in the bay window looking out towards the forest, in hopes that it was all a nightmare, that Sam would be riding up to the cottage at any moment...but then reality crashes in and she would break into tears for the moments that would never come. It was on days like this that she ignored Katrina, that she found she could leave Katrina behind with no thought of her health, safety or welfare. The child looked so like her father with a slightly tanned complexion, soft brown hair that held hints of natural blonde highlights and deep green eyes that seemed to look right into a person's soul. Sarah couldn't bear to look at Katrina when she remembered Sam wasn't  coming back because each time her heart felt like it was breaking and the innocence of the face that looked so like her husband was just too much for her to cope with. It was not Katrina 's fault, there was nothing she could do about that beyond leaving Sarah alone in her thoughts and not saying a word.

Luckily for both Sarah and Katrina the dark days were overshadowed by the good ones. These days were the ones that really mattered, the ones where Sarah was able to focus and be there for her darling little Kat. On these days, Sarah would tidy in the cottage, work in the garden, play with Katrina, and go to the market if needed. She would even feel up to writing letters to her brother on days like this, letters that could not be sent.