Those Lovely Shards (BXB)

Chapter Twenty-Nine

A/N: Heavy Angst Ahead.  Listen to Wish You the Best by Lewis Capaldi before reading for full feels.

"Dove, would you like to accompany me outside for a walk?" Cedric asked.

"Sure, I will. Let me just grab my coat as it's quite chilly outside." Dove replied.

"Okay, I will wait for you here then."

The cotillion was in full swing. The guests were enjoying themselves to the fullest even Cassius and Eryx looked happier. The ladies were sipping on their drinks and eyeing the eligible bachelors they could choose from to write their names on their cards. While the men discussed current affairs and calumnious stories they had heard about the ladies trying out for this marriage season. Dove rolled his eyes at the scene.

He asked the butler stationed there to hand him over the black coat from shelf fifteen. As he waited he felt someone grip his hand.

Neil's voice cracked with frustration, his brows furrowed. "Why can't you see it, Dove? Cedric is not to be trusted! I know maybe you like having his attention and he makes you feel appreciated but it's a weird sort of special treatment. The way he gets so close to you while talking and is strangely intimate only towards you. He keeps crossing these lines that shouldn't be crossed. It doesn't feel right to me. I'm worried."

Dove's frustration mounted as Neil continued to warn him about Cedric. Who was he to stop him from spending time with Cedric when he himself spent no time with Dove today? 

Neil was absent during most of the evening, preoccupied with Eryx or engaging with noble ladies. The imbalance in their interactions stoked Dove's irritation.

Dove's heart raced, his face flushed with a mixture of anger and confusion and in that charged moment, his emotions spiraled out of control. "You don't get to decide who I can spend time with or trust! Cedric saved me, we are close and I trust him more than I trust you!"

The hurt look on Neil's face just served to fuel his anger. The depth of his affection for Neil had always been shrouded in uncertainty, hidden away to protect himself from potential heartbreak and social repercussions.

Neil's retort was laced with defensiveness, his own turmoil bubbling beneath the surface. "You don't understand what I've been through! Everything I've done was for someone I lost, someone I'm trying to bring back!"

A heavy silence enveloped them as they stood amidst the vibrant gardens.

Tears welled up in Dove's eyes as he yelled, "You were just using me? So you never really cared about me, did you?"

The air crackled with tension with the escalating fight as their voices rose, echoing their confusion and fear.

Neil's gaze grew solemn, his voice tinged with sorrow. "I need to tell you the truth. My city was ravaged by war, and the person I cherished the most was lost. I've been searching for a way to bring her back, that's why I needed the potion. It was always for her."

Dove felt his heart shatter into a million pieces. Dove's voice quivered with determination and pain. "How could you?"

Neil's frustration mingled with genuine remorse. "Don't turn this around on me. You knew the risks. I spared your life and protected you. I did what was necessary."

A sudden realization flashed across Dove's face, his eyes widening with a mix of shock and understanding. The forbidden nature of their affection, the era they lived in, and the fear of rejection created a whirlwind of emotions within him. His voice barely escaped his lips, as if each word carried the weight of a lifetime's worth of hidden desires. "I... I have feelings for you, Neil. Romantic feelings."

Neil's expression hardened, his words cutting through Dove's soul like a knife. "You've gone too far, Dove. I trusted you, and now you're trying to manipulate me with these feelings? It's sick."

Dove's entire being trembled with pain and humiliation. His voice was choked with sobs as he pleaded, "Neil, please... I didn't mean to hurt you. I just... I couldn't keep it inside anymore."

Neil's eyes widened in disbelief, his mind struggling to process Dove's confession. "But... but how can... two boys..."

Dove interrupted, his voice quivering with vulnerability. "I know it may be difficult for you to understand, especially considering the time we live in. But these feelings are not brotherly. They are something deeper, something more profound."

Neil took a step back, disgust and anger contorting his features. "Maybe we need to give each other some space, Dove. I can't be around you at the moment."

Dove felt as if his heart had been ripped out of his chest. His vision blurred with tears, and his voice cracked with anguish. "I... I'm sorry. I didn't mean to... I didn't want to ruin everything."

The pain in Dove's chest was unbearable, his sobs echoing in the empty space between them. The rejection cut deep, tearing at his very soul. It felt as if a part of him had died at that moment. He had bared his soul, and exposed his deepest secret, only to be met with uncertainty and discomfort. The pain in his voice was palpable as he whispered, "I still wish you happiness. And I hope you're able to find a way to bring her back. Goodbye, Neil."

With those words, Dove turned away, his footsteps heavy with the weight of unrequited love. Each step felt like a crack in his soul, as the realization settled in that their relationship might never be the same again.