A New Way of Living

Chapter Twenty-Nine

Author's Note: I do not own West Side Story or any element of it.

Over the next few months, Vivienne felt her body shifting. Her belly grew bigger and rounder, feeling the life inside her grow with it. The spring moved into summer, with the heat beginning to blister in the streets and ripple across the buildings from her window. 

She would leave the house in the early mornings only, sitting in the park or on her stoop to let the sun beat down onto her face, feeling nourished by it. When the time came when she knew the Jets would be rising, she went back inside to exile herself for the rest of the day.

Baby John came over each and every day. Sometimes he brought her a newspaper or fruit, and often, chocolate. She gave him money, but often he refused to take it. She didn't know how he was getting these things, but decided not to insult him by asking.

In the afternoons, when he disappeared to be with the Jets, Tessa would often come over. They would sit on the fire escape together, and Tessa was quiet and calm when Vivienne cried from sadness about Riff, or moaned about the discomfort that she would often now feel. She was so young, but spoke with Vivienne like she was older beyond her years.

Baby John had been right - Tessa was a help. After being with her sister through two pregnancies, no craving was too weird, no bodily function was too gross. She even brought over some old maternity dresses that had been hidden away in a box somewhere. Vivienne was thankful - more than she could say.

Vivienne missed Riff so much sometimes that she thought she might die. At night, when she was alone, she talked to him. Talking to him, eventually turned into talking to the life inside her. She tried to stop herself, knowing that it would make things harder if she decided that she wouldn't ultimately keep it, but often she couldn't help herself. 

She wrote him letters. Vague but chatty letters. She couldn't bring herself to make up false stories about Boston - it didn't feel right to lie to him - so she talked about anything else. The weather, what she was reading...and his letters brought her back to life. Just to know that he was still there, that he was coming back to her and thinking of her.

When she saw Baby John and Tessa together, it hurt to see the love and intimacy they shared that she couldn't have at this moment with Riff. In another world, she thought that perhaps they would be going through this together - sharing a joy and anticipation. But this was reality; a secret and a distance. She knew she had to work with what she had.

But, did also brought her a warmth to see the two young kids together. She did not miss how when Tessa laughed, Baby John smiled just at the sound of it. How her hand often looped in with his when he spoke excitedly about some Jet related story. Vivienne decided that their happiness was something she could enjoy as well as envy.

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"Will you come with me?" Vivienne one day asked Tessa, as they sat on her couch and listened to the sounds of the street outside. "To the hospital? When it...happens?"

Tessa looked at her. Her expressions were always so soft, so barely-there, but Vivienne could see that she looked touched.

"Of course," she replied. "I wouldn't let you go on your own."

"I just want someone in my corner," Vivienne explained. "I know what's gonna happen. I've read about it and studied it enough in school, but doing it is...different."

"I wouldn't worry," Tessa replied, placing her hand on Vivienne's. "Women have babies every day. They've got it worked out by now. But I'll be there with you, I promise."