CANAISIS ∞ Chronicle Two: A Captain's Journey

65 ∞ Thermal Anomaly

Day 00009 Mission Nilex and Long Ago

Ayla looked up when Lina stepped back into the room, holding a grayish metal box with both hands. She approached the bed and set it on the edge, watching Ayla's face.

"From the Captain?" asked Ayla.

"Yes. He called it a gift for your healing."

Ayla stared at it with an emotionless expression, but she was filled with trepidation, bordering on fear, curiosity, and joy. Slowly she picked up the box and examined it. Then she cracked the lid open.

Her eyes widened just a little at the sight of its content. Surrounded by a bed of velvet lining rested a beautifully detailed metallic blue butterfly and a berry branch atop a long, simple hairpin. The butterfly had a wingspan the width of her palm.

Ayla drew the hairpin out, looking at it more closely. The butterfly fluttered past her nose into the air, startling her and Lina. It made a few circles, then landed on the lid of the box.

A small smile formed on Ayla's lips. «Thank you for coming, Canaisis,» she thought.

«I've never left you, Ayla. But the Captain thought you might find a small happiness in this.»

«But I'm not hurt physically, so why is everyone acting like I'm made of fractured glass?»

«Your synaptic nerves are severely stressed, Ayla. It will take time to repair. The Human nervous system cannot sustain the level of activity you were achieving without consequences.»

«Was it truly that bad? I've used the Gift before without any effects.»

«This time was different. I don't know why, but it has happened enough for your people to give it a name.»

With a shock, Ayla realized what Canaisis was talking about. «The Lost.»

«Yes, Ayla. You were Lost for a time.»

Ayla looked up with widened eyes at Lina, who was watching her. She felt Lina's love, but also her concern.

"Was I truly Lost, Lina?" Ayla asked in a small voice.

Lina's emotions whirled through fear, despair, and back to great love as she bowed her head and answered, "For a time, yes. We could feel you, distantly, but you couldn't or would not feel us. Then you went into crisis, and we almost lost you... It was too much for Nura and me. If Ahmid hadn't come when he did, I don't know what would have happened. Nura and I didn't have enough strength, but Ahmid tipped the balance."

Ayla lowered her head. "I remember when I felt your love. I'm so sorry, Lina."

She remembered the moment she'd snapped. She'd reached a breaking point and everything within turned to deny the reality from existing. Erase the Universe or consume herself trying. She recognized now she'd suffered a form of insanity, and part of herself withdrew from having to acknowledge that moment.

The image of a family huddling over their child, now nothing more than bones, flashed across her mind.

Lina got down on a knee to look Ayla in the face and took Ayla's hand in both of hers. "Please share the Burden, Ayla. If not that, then please tell me what you saw. Talking is good, you know. I just want to help—I can tell how much this is hurting you."

Ayla felt Lina's sincerity, but the ash and wind in her mind whisked the words away. The sensations took over in an instant, with cold creeping into her hands and feet. Snapshots of a dead world flashed across her vision, overlaying her sight of Lina.

"Hey!" Lina squeezed Ayla's hand with all her strength. "Hey! I'm right here. Focus on me, Ayla. Feel my love for you—don't go away!"

Ayla clenched her eyes shut and fought the Memory. But it held on, so she focused on the good in the Memory instead. Words echoed in her mind, words from the Captain of a starship.