ECLIPSE, grishaverse

xi. the one with the birthday

TRIGGER WARNING: in this chapter of Eclipse there are descriptions of deaths and mutilation. Please, procede with caution.

                  "WHAT DID BAGHRA SAY?" Alina asked a few minutes later after they stopped holding each other.

Yelena tensed and moved away. She stood in front of the table and admired the map as she bit her lower lip. How was she going to tell Alina, who had pleaded her to speak with the old woman for weeks, that she indeed haven't been brave enough to knock on the hut's door?

Senior Starkov took in a deep breath before answering, "Funny story," she started, "I might've forgotten to talk to her."

"You don't just forget stuff." Alina said, as her dark brows furrowed on her forehead. "You are avoiding her, aren't you?"

"Avoiding? Me?" Yelena chuckled but she didn't find the situation not a bit funny. "Not at all."

"Yelena." Alina stood at her side now, piercing her older sister's profile face with her dark brown orbs. "Why are you so afraid of her?"

"I'm not afraid." Yelena turned to look at the summoner, her tone slightly higher than usual. "I—" she took another deep breath before speaking again, this time more calm, "It's my fault that she's... like that."

"It's not." Alina said firmly. "It's his fault."

"Yeah but—"

"No."

"Alina!"

"No, Lena." her little sister fought her. "If you are at fault then me too. I was the one who decided to go after the stag instead of crossing the Fold as you and Baghra said." Yelena shook her head, ready to speak against junior Starkov's words. "But we weren't the ones who took her eyes. That was the Darkling. So we don't get to feel guilty. But we need to make it right."

Yelena pursued her lips and stayed silent for a minute or so. Then, she spoke in a whisper. "I know. But— it's not only that." She said as Alina gestured her to continue. "I think there's something wrong with me..."

Alina's eyes glimmered after her words. "What do you mean?"

"What we know about the Moon Summoner it's mostly from stories, right? But there isn't one that could explain why the amplifiers affect me too. Actually, it says that I cannot be corrupted by them. This, Alina, it isn't supposed to happen." Yelena pressed her lips together. "And the stag..., the sea whip. Saints, we ruined two mythical and lost creatures already. Now the fire bird? I don't think I can look at her in the face and tell her that."

After a pause, Alina chuckled. "I already told her, and she said pretty much the same." she mumbled, and shrugged. "Lena, weirdly enough— Baghra likes you. I don't know why, and it may be related to Kirigan but you out of everyone could be the one to get something out of her." Alina's face was tilting to the side. "Just try." she pleaded.

*  *  *

"I rang for tea, breakfast in your room?" Nikolai said as he caught up with the General when she came out of the room a few minutes later.

Yelena barely acknowledged him as she mumbled with an edge on her voice, "Yes, sir."

Yelena wouldn't deny it— she was slightly mad at the fact that he completely denied her in front of people, no matter how close they were. She understood now, Nikolai wanted her to be safe and she wanted the same for him but Saints, did he really need to shut her down like that? It made her blood boil. But it wasn't about Nikolai, no— she always hated it when a man interrupted her, or went above her head when she had as much power as them. It didn't happen once, it happened to her all the time. In Keramzin, in the First Army, and now in the Little Palace. Yelena had a voice of her own, and she was going to use it.