When Aaron left in the morning I felt disappointed yet relieved. I didn't want him here when my withdrawals get bad again.
He never understood the actual pain involved with withdrawals, mainly because he's never tried to quit.
He takes stuff for fun or to get the take the edge off of something, for me... it's an escape.
When I started I found myself wanting more and more early on. Anything to get rid of the pain. The numbness I felt was the thing that got me addicted, not so much the high itself.
Aaron is the one who introduced me to drugs...
I'm not blaming him. I mean it's my fault for not having more self control.
I don't want to say that he doesn't try to help me.. he does-- in is own weird way. Whenever I try to quit, he's there telling me I'm wasting my time and tries to "distract" me from my withdrawals with sex. Sex meaning just boring missionary. And he stops immediately once he's finished, leaving me just dissatisfied and a mess.
It's the loud hum of my AC unit that snaps me out of my thought, making me self aware again. Currently I'm sitting at my counter in nothing but my Rolling Stones T-shirt and my underwear, eating a bowl of cereal.
Cinnamon Toast Crunch to be precise.
This is my second bowl because eating is currently the only thing distracting me from my withdrawals.
I'm trying not to think about it.
My solitude is interrupted by a phone call. I look down at the screen, half expecting it to be Aaron but I'm surprised when I see it's Jenna, my best friend.
I pick it up and swipe the screen.
"Hey, bitch" she says playfully.
"Hey" I reply.
"How are you feeling? You are almost at four weeks sober!" She cheers.
I pause and my face heats from embarrassment, slapping my hand up to my forehead.
The silence between us confuses her, "hey, are you there?" she asks.
"Yeah, yeah I'm here" I squeak out.
Unfortunately.
"Did you hear what I said?" She asks.
"Yeah, um about that." I pause, biting my lip out of a nervous habit, "I relapsed."
Silence.
I wait there, tapping my foot as the silence deafened me.
"Ok... um, I don't know what to say." She says with a disappointed tone.
"I know, I'm sorry. I really thought that I could handle it but my withdrawals got really bad and my-" I start to say.
"No, no excuses. I don't mean to sound rude Celeste, but believe it or not you have control over the things you do. There aren't any excuses good enough to defend the fact that you relapsed. That was a decision you made." She states in a distasteful tone.
"I'm sorry, I-" I try to explain again but I'm cut off.
"Have you had anything today?" She asks.
"No, Aaron spent the night so I haven't had any since he came last night." I say.
"Good, you're lucky to have Aaron, he seems healthy for you. I mean-- you're lucky you have two people like me and Aaron who can put up with your bullshit," she laughs lightly, "Anyways, I'm going to come over, we are going to dress up, and we are going to have some real fun," She says.
YOU ARE READING
Temporary
Fanfiction"I totally get that," she says before giving me the side eye ,"I actually think that you and Harry might have a lot more in common that you think," "What do you mean?" I ask. "I mean you guys seem to have some similarities in the 'trust department'...
