Temporary

7: Low

TRIGGER WARNING: light SA and violence

The drive to Elle's house was only around 15 minutes. While 15 minutes might not seem like a long time to most, for me, it was excruciatingly long.

Elle and Bec weren't this issue. As normal, it was me who was the problem.

My withdrawals had slowly gotten worse in the span of time between work and Elle picking me up.

I was shivering, really badly, and I could not stop fidgeting. I was tapping, scratching, pulling constantly in an attempt to ease my discomfort but my efforts fell short.

Luckily Elle and Bec were in the front just jamming out to their usual music, so they didn't see me.

I rub the sides of my thighs in a nervous habit.
How am I supposed to make it through the night clean?
There was no way that I'd be able to get through the night completely sober. I just something to take the edge off. My issue was I didn't have anything to use with me... I can't let myself relapse tonight. I need to be sober. I need to get clean. These thoughts just run circles around my mind, making me focus more and more on drugs. Maybe Elle or Bec would have some weed at their place... that would help take the edge off and it would help my anxiety like it used to. I say a silent prayer that they do have some at their place.

I feel awkward and annoying in this position. I don't want to be that person that has withdrawals, the addict, the bad friend, etc... but I guess I made my bed so I have to lie in it, right? I wish someone understood what I'm going through and not treat me like I'm a burden. Like Aaron knows, and Jenna knows, and my whole family knows but they never understood that I don't want to be like this. They never offered help, only turned me away or in Aaron's case, introduced me to new substances.
These guilty thoughts ended quickly when we pulled up to Elle's place. I can't let these thoughts ruin my night.

We all hopped out of the car and made our way into Elle's house.

It was a pretty big house from the looks of it.

I'm not sure how many rooms in all but based off of how many I counted while we were making our way to her room I'd say there are about 4 bedrooms and 3 1/2 bathrooms.

Her house was so chic and clean, everything looking very modern and updated.

I hate to admit it but I was slightly embarrassed that I had her over to my flat, which has a 70s flare to it.

But my view of her house changed completely when we opened the door to her room.

Imagine Regina George's room on steroids.

Pink, pink, pink.

It was so Elle.

There was no other way to put it. And despite the large amount of pink, it didn't look like Barbie came and threw up in her room. Somehow it looked really good.

Her room was huge, probably about 1/3 of the size of my whole flat which has two small bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, a small kitchen, and a small living room attached to an eating area.

I am by no means complaining about my flat, it's just I tend to compare new things with things I have just out of observation.

Bec belly flo mom ps onto Elle's bed as Elle goes into her walk-in closet.

"Alright so Celeste, Bec and I already have an outfit for tonight BUTTTT I know you said you didn't have one, which is totally fine, so I have a couple for you to chose from," She shouts from her closet, "come in here and take a look."

When I walked in it was like a shopping mall had slapped me in the face. I had to stop and recollect myself a bit before stepping in any further.

"Geez Elle, think you have enough clothes?" I laughed.