spencer sat alone in her room. the plant covered room felt claustrophobic as she sat huddled on the icy floor. why couldn't she just be normal. was it so hard to just be normal. spencer looked at her desolate pc and keyboard. it had been weeks since she interacted with her fans. spencer took a few deep breaths, but her heart didn't stop racing. she dug her nails deep into her palms. little cresent shapes were branded into her skin. they had been for the last couple years of her life. occasionally they'd fade; when spencer was going through an episode like this they stayed. she decided to text her best friends, her heart still racing.
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𝗱𝗮 𝗱𝗮𝘄𝗴𝘀 𝗳𝗿 ——
𝘴𝘬𝘳𝘶𝘯𝘬𝘺 guys i literally am so embarrassed -
𝘴𝘤𝘰𝘰𝘣 babe what happened -
𝘥𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘥𝘦𝘷𝘪𝘭 kiya please you know it's hot roomie related like obvi cmon now -
𝘴𝘬𝘳𝘶𝘯𝘬𝘺 okay yes it is val, but you didn't need to call me out like thaaat - but yes kiya it is in fact will related -
𝘴𝘤𝘰𝘰𝘣 yeah i know! guys i know!!! what i wantedddd to know was what happened actually -
𝘴𝘬𝘳𝘶𝘯𝘬𝘺 oh duh LMAO - well basically he made me dinner because i came into today about to start BAWLING my eyes out and he bought me my favorite flowers because my old batch was dead -
𝘴𝘤𝘰𝘰𝘣 AWWW THATS SO CUTE i literally love you two together -
𝘥𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘥𝘦𝘷𝘪𝘭 omfg why are you upset, please explain cuz i'm bamboozled -
𝘴𝘤𝘰𝘰𝘣 yeah ngl kinda confused spence -
𝘴𝘬𝘳𝘶𝘯𝘬𝘺 CUZ I TOTALLY FUCKED IT UP he was talking about how i'm such an open book and he can read me and i started feeling bad because i barely know him. for christs sake he said 285 words to me the whole time he's lived with me. - he makes me feel so dumb i can't get anything right with him - yes, i counted every word hes said to me. -
spencer slammed her phone onto her bed. she was so frustrated. why couldn't she just be fucking normal. the girl aggressively wiped her tear stained face before heading to the bathroom. she couldn't just sit around in fear and mope. spence needed to write and communicate with her fans. while she wasn't as popular as lovejoy or wilbur himself, spencer hoped people cared. what if they didn't though. i mean people had been asking about her. spencer groaned and entered the bathroom. she washed her face and hopped into the shower. spencer desired a new slate, the feeling of cleanliness. it was always nice to have a hot shower during a depressive episode. she decided to listen to some brand new. it was a pop punk band she quite liked. despite wanting to not bothering wilbur, she turned up the song. she just wanted to drown out the world with music and burning hot water.
wilbur sat on stream, just talking with fans about lovejoys upcoming music. his eyes scanned the chat as he caught a few messages about the loud music in the back. wilbur ignored them for now, if it got louder, he'd just ask her to quiet down. he smiled at the camera to the viewers. a bit of worry over took him, what if the fans were weirded out by him living with a girl? what if they angrily attacked spencer. he clenched his arm with his hand, digging his nails deeply into his skin. recently he had bitten them off in an anxious episode. therefore, no marks were left. he knew fans would notice just about anything like that.
"so chat, i have a huge announcement! as you all are aware, i've been staying in america for awhile. i've had a few people come visit me; who lived in america that is. however, a vistor from the u.k will be stopping by very shortly. i'm sure you all are gonna love this." just as he finished talking, the music got louder and the shower turned off. the bathroom was just across from his bedroom. wilbur tried to smile, it instead came out like a grimace. he wondered if chat thought that could be the vistor. "don't worry about the music guys, it's just my roomate. you guys might know h-" wilbur stopped himself. he couldn't just reveal spencer's gender like that. "you might know them! i won't be revealing the identity at the moment, but hopefully soon we will put out content together. anyways that's all for tonight everyone. i'm gonna head to bed!" wilbur shut off the stream and put his head into his hands. oh god, what if the chat clipped him messing up with the pronouns.
as he sat there, completely lost in panic-ridden thought, he heard cold cold cold by cage the elephant. wilbur quite liked this song. he started humming along, the sound of spencer's bare feet dancing down the hallway echoing in his ears. the tall man wheeled his chair to the door. he looked into the hallway, watching spencer dance. she looked so carefree, a contrast from her usual demeanor. wilbur smiled to himself, imagining himself dance with her. he imagined the two dancing around the living room together, lauging. the vision was so vivid, he couldn't shake the idea. he had to come to terms with the fact that he liked spencer, a lot. will wished that she would see that he was never trying to be mean to her. he was never tryna hurt spencer. wilbur leaned back into his chair, digging his hands deep into his arms. how could he make spencer see herself in a positive light? why did she even act like that with wilbur? she didn't act like that with anyone else, what could he even have done.
spencer jumped around in the two's apartment, thankfully no one lived below them. the tenants there had recently moved out. spencer finally felt a sense of relief. the past week she had spent time on edge, lying on cold floors just to feel calm. spencer danced down the hallway to her room. for a second, she stopped and looked at will's door. perhaps she would ask him to play a game with her tonight. maybe even go out for food together, spencer had to make up for her outburst. she bit her lip and stared at the scars on her hands. she wondered if anyone else had scars like this. spencer's adrenaline and confidence started to falter. it was hard being an emotional rollercoaster and not even knowing why. spence went into her room and tried to shake off the feeling. she was gonna be confident and she was going to talk to will. spencer wasn't gonna freak out.
a soft knock came upon wilbur's door. he turned his head towards the door, his eyebrows raised. the boy hopped up, opening the door. looking down he saw spencer standing there. the first thing he noticed was her black leather hat. it was unusual to see her in hats. spencer had crazy lion esque hair, and she loved every bit of it. it was highly unusual for her to have on a hat. her outfit was still super adorable and completely monochrome. this wasn't unusual for spencer. her apartment may have been covered in lots of patterns and colors, but spencer kept her outfits simple. she was very into high fashion and said black looked expensive. wilbur admired her eye for outfits and fashion. spence smiled at wilbur, trying to not worry. her nails dug further into her skin as she spoke.
"would you wanna hang out? we can go our or you know play some games." spencer fiddled with the hem of her shirt. spence genuinely couldn't bare him saying no, it would ruin her confidence.
"of course i would spencer. i'd actually love to hang out with you. can we go to karaoke in the city?" wilbur smiled at spencer, he was already dressed. his outfit was a normal outfit for wilbur, nothing special. spencer smiled, eyeing him up and down. that made 306 words. she loved karaoke, and this would be intimate. spencer thought you could tell a lot about someone from their go-to karoke song. her's was dancing queen from mamma mia. it was fun to sing and she could dance to it. it was the perfect karaoke song.
"that's perfect, i'm so excited!" spencer squealed rushing to grab her keys and head out the front door. "you gotta take some pics for my insta though," spencer yelled back to him. will just smiled and followed her out into the chilly seattle night. it was a beautiful night, the moon was crescent shaped and shining brightly.
