warmups and excerpts

25/04/2022 - i am polluted

i am the sea
polluted with signs of outsiders
and remnants of who i used to be sunk at the bottom of myself
i will carry you always,
but i am dying
and the ghosts
of who i used to be
rot at my core
i am too damaged to be your mirror
i am too murky to be what i used to
the oil of the past ignites against my anger
and while colorful
it is only killing me faster

i wish i could drain
but to do so would kill those who rely upon me
i reach out towards to sky with what remains of my limbs
at night i dream and
i stretch in futility towards the night,
wishing to speak to my moon
yet my waves are not as they used to be

i wish the pollution were gone
the marks of the countless spills
and trash that floats now in my soul

i am so alone