Nick's party comes to an end, and everyone starts to leave. Ellie sneaks me off to the side alone to chat for a second, which weirdly makes me nervous. "I can't even begin to tell you what a change I see in Matthew." She starts. "I am so grateful that he's straightened up and has found such a nice girl. Welcome to the family sweetheart".
Her words fill my heart with so much joy. She is so kind, and loving. I see where the boys get it. It's all their mother. "That means so much to me Ellie, thank you." I smile. "Of course, I will see you soon." She says her goodbyes, and everyone leaves. I sit down next to Nicolas, both of us a little tipsy from the wine, and his excessive amounts of beer. "I need a shower." Matt says, leaning down to peck my lips. "Unless you want to join.." "Ooo! They're getting spicy!" Nick giggles. "No were not", I say. "Go take a shower smelly."
"I'm not smelly." He scoffs. "Yes you are go away." I say. "Yeah go away", Nick says sassily. "You guys are mean." Matthew mutters, and heads off to the bathroom.
I sit there, staring at the wall as I pick at my fingers. I can't stop thinking about what Chris said.. I just want to know how truthful his claim is. "Nick, can I ask you about something?" I ask. "Yep, what's up?" "Christopher mentioned something earlier.." I mumble. "And I can't stop thinking about it", Nicolas looks to me, a bit more serious now. Does he already know without me even saying?
"He shouldn't have told you about that. It's in the past", he says firmly. "Nick.. please." I say. He sighs, and sets his drink down. "It was two years ago.. Matt was a mess back then and he was lucky if he even went one day without having a complete meltdown." He starts. "One day he just lost control.. I didn't do anything he just- he needed to take his anger out on someone, and I just happened to be there." I feel my whole body go cold.
I just can't imagine Matthew hurting Nick like that. They're brothers, they love each other, how could he hurt him for absolutely no reason? "And you ended up in the hospital?" I ask. "I did.. he knocked me out, I was bleeding a lot. He called an ambulance and I was out the next day", he explains. "I promise you Iris, that was one time. That's not who he is anymore and for Chris to use that to try to scare you off was fucked up."
I nod, not wanting to push for more information. I don't know how to feel about this.. but I know one thing for sure. I need to talk to Matt.
I lay back on Matt's bed as his lips graze over the skin of my jaw. His fingertips sneak under my shirt, moving across my stomach and hipbone. "What's wrong?" He mutters against my skin. "Nothing don't stop", I say, grabbing his face to connect my lips to his. "Sweetheart", he pulls away, cradling my face. "I know you. Something is wrong."
We're having such a perfect night, I don't want to bring up the drama of what Chris told me. Yet I can't seem to look past it. Chris was right, it does make me see Matt just a little bit differently, but it doesn't change how much I love him. "Chris told me about what happened with you and Nick.." I say in almost a whisper.
I can see the expression on his face change instantly, and not in a way I expected. I thought he'd get angry, and want to yell at Chris for telling me. But he doesn't even look a little bit angry. He looks hurt. "Iris please don't leave me.. it was a mistake. I would never hurt you I promise- I'm not that guy anymore-"
"Matthew no." I shake my head, grabbing his face with my hands. "I'm not going anywhere. I promise."
The worry in his eyes doesn't fade though, and I start to feel so bad. I shouldn't have brought it up, what he has done in his past is none of my business and Chris shouldn't have made it my business. "I won't hurt you. I swear on my life I won't ever hurt you." "I know love", I try to assure him.
"I love you.." he mutters. "I love you too."
He kisses me all over my face, and every worry I had fades away. I trust Matthew with all of me, and nothing from his past is going to change that. He is someone who would do anything to protect me. He went to jail to protect me. I will never question my safety with him ever again. "Matty.." I say, looking into those beautiful brown eyes that draw me in. "What princess?" He asks softly. "I want to do something for you.." I trail off and he gives me a confused look. "What do you mean?" I sit up, and he moves over to his own side of the bed. I straddle his lap, and kiss him softly and nervously.
"I want to make you feel good.." I say, moving My hand down to run over his pants. His eyes widen, now realizing what I'm talking about. He grabs my wrist quickly, and lifts my hand up and off of him. "Iris I'm not doing that." He says. "But don't you want to feel me.. and taste me.." I try and he groans, tilting his head back. "I'd love nothing more than that, but I respect you. I respect your morals. I'm not going to ruin that because I'm horny", he says. I frown, moving off of his lap.
Doesn't he want me?
Yeah I know he says it's because he respects my morals but I'm willing to give them up for him. So why doesn't he want me? Is he not attracted to me? Does he think I'll be bad at it because I've never done it before?
Just the thought that he's done it with other girls but doesn't want to do it with me hurts me. "I'm gonna go home. I need to clean the house for Christmas Eve", I say, getting out of his bed and slipping my shoes on. "Are you serious?" He asks. "What? I'm not allowed to want to go home?" I say sassily, and stand to my feet.
❀Matt's POV❀
"Iris don't leave." I say, following my girlfriend down the hallway and towards the front door. "I have stuff to do, I'll see you tomorrow", she mutters, and gives me a less than love filled peck goodbye. She walks out the door, slamming it behind her. "Dude what'd you do?" Nick laughs, sitting on the sofa eating crisps. "Literally nothing!" I exclaim. "She suddenly got all sexual with me and I wasn't about to break her fucking pact or whatever with the sky daddy cause she believes if she fucks someone before marriage then she'll like burn for eternity or some shit", I say all in one breath. Nick just stares at me dumbfounded. "So you're telling me she was going to fuck you and you said no?" He asks. "Exactly. I was being a good boyfriend!" I groan. "Dude.." he laughs. "You're dumber than I thought." "What?"
"In her head, you've slept with Scarlett but you're rejecting her." He says.
Why would she think like that? She knows I loathe Scarlett and that I love her. I'm not rejecting her-
I'm respecting her.
I'd love nothing more than to tear her clothes off and show her just how good I can make her feel but I care too much about her. And part of her is her beliefs. If I love her, that means I have to respect her beliefs, and I just don't think taking her virginity when I know she wants to wait qualifies as respect.
"What should I do?" I ask. "She's hot. Fuck her", Nick says. "Okay first of all never call my girlfriend hot again", I say. "Noted." He nods. "And I just don't think that's the answer.. I'm gonna go talk to her. Spend the night. I'll see you at the Christmas Eve thing tomorrow."
I grab a few things, and my keys, ready to go fix things with my girl. "Remember! If you do it use protection!" Nicolas calls and I flip him off, leaving the house, jacket and keys in hand.
