The Matchmaker

Chapter 37

"Excuse me?" Celia whispered harshly, the pen sliding out of her grip.

"Hey! That's my line!" Patrick piped, jolting out of his spot on the couch and making a bee-line towards me.

"Now, now. Don't freak out," I whimpered, my eyes begging Zander to help me out.

"You guys can just fake it," is his flat response and weak attempt at coming to my aid.

Celia and Patrick both turn their heads towards him, eyes stern and bodies stiffening.

"Yeah, tell that to my parents! My grandma will bombard me with a million questions and ask when she can see her great grandkids," Patrick said, his words a flurried torrent of bullets aimed at his friend.

"Mine too! All nine of my uncles will show up at my place and demand I produce this boyfriend of mine," Celia fumed, the pen now clutched between her fingers in a vice-like hold.

"Just for a little bit?" I asked innocently, my voice coming out frail and broken.

Celia's lips twitch into a frown. "You want me to pretend to go out with a guy I babysat at the aquarium?"

Scowling, Patrick points an accusing finger at her. "Excuse me? Babysat? I'll have you know, you weren't all grace and composure when we came across the penguin show."

"At least I'm not the one who cried over his friend leaving for a day!"

Carefully stepping back as stealthily as I can, I tip-toe towards the couch and sit next to Zander who is my bunker of safety as the two of them continue their verbal battle.

"Said the woman who was sniffling and moping over her best friend being gone! Also, you know I'm just doing this so Zander doesn't find out I broke his camera!"

I sense the veins in Zander's arm pulse next to me with restrained fury at the mention of his camera but he decides to release his anger for later since it wasn't the time nor place for it.

"Oh shut it... you...you..."

"You what? I know I'm irresistible and you've got nothing against me," Patrick gloated.

"Now you sound like Zander!"

At this, Zander smirks and I smack his arm and shake my head.

Antagonizing Celia now and having her wrath deflected onto us was not the smart choice - we were better off unnoticed in our little corner, munching on a bag of leftover pretzels.

"Well where do you think he gets it from?"

"ERGH. You're an idiot who likes to debate! I'm not getting myself involved with you."

"And you're too scared to let someone else in!"

"Mind your own business Greene."

"Apparently I can't because we're going to be entangled in a love affair soon."

"Why are you suddenly talking sense and reason..and...and acting your age?"

"It's a toxic trait, I know."

"I hate them," Celia huffed, stretching out a finger pointedly at Zander and I.

"I hate them too."

They're both breathing hard, the onslaught of words now over and I take this as my chance to squeak out in the midst of this cease fire. "So... you're in? It won't be more than a month, I promise."

They both groan which triggers whatever biological function I have that demands I stress eat, and shove a few more pretzels in my mouth before gulping down a large glass of water and continue my proposal.