Golden Swords

Untitled Part 20

The cave is cold and wet, I'm fine with that. The moss and lichen just dampen my voice and the sound of the rain, giving me a quiet, dark, refuge. "What's wrong?"

It's Alam. Their voice is soft like they knew before they asked the question. "I..."

I can't get the words out. "You can't remember." They say it as a statement, not a question like they know.

In response to my nod, they say "It's fine, normal even. I can't remember anything, just flashes."

They sit next to me. "How did you find me?" I ask.

They laugh. "This is my home, I know all the best places to cry. I haven't known you for very long but I don't like seeing you cry." They jab a thumb down the dark tunnel of the cave. "I have some candles back there if you want."

I shake my head. "What do you remember?" I ask.

They clear their throat. "Well, I remember sailing with Odysseus back to Ithaca."

"What!" I shout loud enough for it to echo.

"Yeah, all he could talk about was how faithful Penelope was and how he'd done a great job picking a wife."

I laugh. "I would have thought he would talk about, I don't know, fighting and stuff."

"Nah, he was a great poet. Actually, he wasn't the best fighter, he was just smart about it. One time I challenged him to a sword fight, he beat me using the rigging from the ship. The next day I beat him after he asked again 'cause I knew his trick.

"What can't you remember that you want to?"

I am unprepared for the question. After a moment to compose myself, I respond. "My mom, I can't remember what she looks like, I can't even remember her name."

"Do you want to?"

That hits me like a sack of bricks. "I... I don't... I don't know."

Alam pulls a book and quills out of a pocket in their coat. "When you need to remember something, write it down here."

I look at the book for a moment. I have yet to experience this level of kindness from anyone, even my family. It's all too much for me. My emotions begin pouring out, tears fall onto the cover of the leather journal.

I slowly curl down and Alam guides my head to their lap. I cry and sob, getting their cloak wet with tears, but they don't mind. "It's okay." They soothe. "It gets easier, I promise."

I shake my head, my body racked with tears but they persist in their comfort. Once I have cried my fill, they produce another book. "Here, you can read mine if you want."

I reach out for a moment but pull back. "No, that's private, I don't want to snoop."

They smile. "I appreciate that but I'm saying you can."

I grab the book and flip through it for a moment but put it down. "No. Ocean once told me she doesn't care who she was before she died because she knows who she is now. I don't care about who you were before you died, I care about who you are now."

They giggle nervously, tucking a strand of their hair behind their ear. I get the sudden urge to kiss them, to hold them, something. Slowly I lean forward, closing my eyes. Then I stop. "May I kiss you?" In response, they lean forward.

When our lips connect I can feel sparks fly. Little bits of static electricity pass on to my lips but I don't mind them. We stay together for what feels like forever. Their lips are soft and give a subtle taste of apple juice.

When we do pull apart, both of our faces are red. Alam gets up to leave but stops themself. They sit back down and lean in for another kiss.

After we part again, Alam tentatively leans forward. I thrust my arms out and pull them on top of me. We keep going, stopping after a brief eternity of bliss. The moon shines into the cave; it's the middle of the night, but we stay, just laying there.