Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
Of all the weak spots in Stonebridge, this one was probably her favourite. She'd headed straight to the Grouse Inn after she'd left Baz's house, climbing the fire escape until she reached the roof. She sat amongst the trees, listening to the gurgle of water as it washed invisibly around her, and her anger slowly subsided. But instead of calm like she'd hoped for, she just felt empty. Distant, like she was floating again.
She took a deep breath in, wondering if there was anything she could have done to handle it better. Should she just have left Avel to his fate?
But even then, even after everything he'd done, she couldn't do it. Not when she understood how he felt.
But she couldn't leave Etta in Eseran, either, when so many people wanted her back.
She thought of Baz and Lewis, staying up all night trying to bring her back. All the people who'd formed search parties to look for her, weeks after she'd disappeared. Maggie and Roy, who did nothing but love, and were punished for it by having their daughter taken away from them.
Sadie curled her knees up to her chest. She didn't know what to do. She couldn't look for the Gate on her own. And tomorrow, Baz and Lewis would go ahead without her.
If Baz wasn't going to help her, then it was down to Sadie to make the choice.
Etta or Avel.
Sadie shook her head. For everyone else, it wouldn't even have been a decision. Etta was her best friend, and Avel was a virtual stranger.
Baz was right all along, she realised. She was a horrible friend. What kind of friend would abandon their companion just to save some guy she'd just met? What kind of friend would rather stick their head in the sand and box away their feelings instead of trying to help when they went missing?
Sure, she had only been trying to protect herself. And where had that left her? Alone on the pavement in the middle of the night, with nowhere to go and no-one to look out for her. And now the boxes were coming open, and all the monsters she'd trapped inside were wriggling out, skulking shadows coming for her.
No. Sadie shook her head, warding them off. There had to be another option. It didn't have to be Avel. They just needed someone to replace Etta in Eseran. Someone nobody would miss if they disappeared.
And who will miss you? A cold voice piped up in the back of her head.
A heavy weight settled in the pit of Sadie's stomach. Would anyone even notice, if she decided to take Etta's place? Baz hated her again, she hadn't seen Holly Blue in weeks, and the last time she'd spoken to her parents, she'd said she never wanted to see them again.
Don't burn your bridges, Holly Blue had said to her. But it seemed like that was all Sadie could do. Everywhere she went, she started fires, until there was nobody left around her.
Sadie hugged her knees closer to her body. What kind of person had nobody who cared about them?
The kind that didn't belong here.
Sadie stared out across the scene before her. A thin gust of wind threaded through the trees, blowing their leaves down the path, as if leading her inwards. It was all fitting together now. She had everything she needed for the spell. She could do it right here, put an end to this three-year torment. Finally bring Etta home.
The weight lifted slowly from her stomach. It felt right, when she thought of it like that. But still, something held her back.
Maybe, just maybe...
Sadie took out her phone. It took her a while to remember the number she wanted. She typed in the numbers, turned on the speaker, and waited with bated breath as the call rung.
"Hello?"
The woman's voice made her jump. Sadie sucked in a deep breath.
"Hi...mum," Sadie said. "It's me."
"Who?"
The tight feeling in her stomach gripped harder. Sadie didn't know if her mum had deleted her number and genuinely didn't recognise her voice, or, as usual, was simply being spiteful.
"Me. It's Sadie."
"Oh." Her mother didn't sound particularly enthusiastic about the call. Sadie shifted uncomfortably, wondering if this was a good idea. "Why did you call? I thought you said you didn't want to talk to us again."
"I know," Sadie said. "But that was a while ago."
"Hmm. I think I know what's happened." Her mother's voice grew triumphant. "That independent life you wanted isn't as glamourous as it seems, is it? What a surprise! Your parents knew what they were talking about all along. We only did what was best for you, and you threw it all in our faces."
"Really?" Sadie couldn't help the bite in her voice, her old resentment rising up. It was a familiar lecture from them. "Never letting me go out was best for me? Never letting me have any privacy? Making me give you all my money from work?"
"You were wasting your life hanging around with those friends. You weren't going anywhere until your father and I stepped in. We worked tirelessly to get you the grades so you could get into a good university, on the path to a better future. And what did you do?" She tutted loudly. "Throw it all away! To wipe tables and serve coffee! Never in my life have I been so disrespected--"
"You were the ones who cut me off," Sadie said. "I just didn't want you controlling everything in my life anymore. I just wanted a bit of freedom."
"And how well did that turn out for you?"
Sadie swallowed, hard. "Look, mum," she said. "You're right. I'm...sorry. I should have listened. I know I said I didn't want to see you again, but...can I come home? Just for tonight?"
Silence.
"The real world is tough, isn't it?"
Her stomach twisted again. "Mum..."
"We tried to protect you, but you threw it all back in our faces. Well, you got what you wanted. Make your bed and lie in it. And maybe next time, you'll learn to appreciate all we did for you."
And the call cut off. Sadie stared at her phone, shoulders shaking. Her body felt numb, heavy, like she'd been cut from ice.
So, that's it, then.
Sadie dug into her pocket and took out the picture Etta had drawn. She flipped it over, staring at Avel's portrait of her. And despite the hollow, empty feeling inside of her, the tears welling up in her eyes, Sadie smiled, imagining the look on Maggie's face when she got back.
At least one of them was coming home tonight.
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
