Faster car

67

This was a stupid idea, it was totally stupid. Meredith understood why Derek wanted his son at this party. It was a big deal, his team had won the championship and he had missed it because he had been with them so it seemed fair that they went to celebrate with him. But this was stupid. Cole was still really tiny and they probably shouldn't be bringing him to someone else's house yet.

He hadn't even been to Carolyn's house yet. He was still so tiny, only three weeks old and that just seemed so small. Even if he had had a little bit of a growth spurt, she couldn't help but think that her son was way too small to be visiting complete strangers. Well, not complete strangers. Cole knew Kevin and Hillary and Mark. But that was about it. He was too small to be going places.

When Derek had asked her head had been all full of things Hillary said and Derek had looked so happy and excited that she had kind of gotten caught up in everything and had quickly agreed to it all. Except now she was realizing that maybe this wasn't a good idea at all and she had no idea how to tell Derek that. Because he had been smiling really proudly when he had dressed Cole. Of course, she wasn't sure what the point of dressing Cole up was. He was spitting up on everything these days and sometimes not even his diapers could handle his poop disasters. But Derek had grabbed the cargo pants with the alligators on them that Cole had worn home, and then had put the Grand-Am baby t-shirt on him with pride. Derek was all grins these days, which was great. And sexy.

She couldn't deny that, Derek Shepherd was sexy. And it had nothing to do with her hormones and everything to do with his hair that he never kept styled anymore, which was fine because messed up and all over the place worked really well on him. And his smile was definitely different than it had been before Cole and it was really sexy and warm and she loved it. She loved a lot of things about him, and a lot of those things she was really realizing had nothing to do with her hormones. Loving his laugh wasn't hormones induced, and she really did love his laugh. And she loved the way he immediately touched her when she came into a room, like he had to be around her or something. It was amazing but she wasn't thinking about it right now. Cole. She was
thinking about her tiny eight and a half pound son.

He was an amazing baby, a totally amazing and perfect baby. He was bigger and more aware of everything. He looked like he loved taking everything in, loved looking around and seemed to really get a kick out of the world around him. Which she knew Derek would argue that it meant he should definitely get out of their tiny home to see other things and other people.

But right now, all Cole knew was this world, this tiny little world that was her home. He knew his mommy and daddy and grandma. He knew eating, he knew playing on the floor on the living room, his eyes watching everything that happened around him. When he was on his stomach, his head moved up slightly, lifted slightly when she wiggled a toy in front of his head. She loved that this was theirs. And she knew they had to share him with the rest of the word eventually. Derek looked at her like she didn't know that but she did. She didn't want her son to be some odd recluse that never left the house just because his parents didn't want to share him. She was okay with it happening some day but right now it seemed to soon. All of this was too new.

"Derek," she sighed as she packed some extra clothes into the diaper bag. He was on the floor with Cole, waving a stuffed animal in front of his face as their baby watched the toy with completely and total interest.

"Yeah?"

"This really isn't a good idea."

"What isn't?"

"Taking him out to Kevin and Hillary's house for a barbeque."

"Of course it is," he nodded. "It's my party. Right, Cole?"