Heaven's calling (bvb fanfic)

Dry your tears

Kind of a depressing chapter ehh.

I couldn't help but cry, being a hormonal bitch and having mental health issues isn't fucking easy. I just sat there, on the bench, crying, i felt like such an idiot. "Riley?" A deep voice softly spoke. I looked up and saw Andy sadly looking at me. I looked at him and just burst even more. He sat besides me and pulled me towards him. "Dry your tears, life is too short for so much sorrow" he whispered as he rubbed my back. I looked up at him with his crystal blue eyes staring in mine. "I'm here if you need to talk about it Riles" he said calmly. "A-Andy i can't talk about this publicly. I'll tell you after your show tonight okay, i promise" i said softly as tears continued to fall.
"You promise?"
"I promise"
"pinky promise?"
"Pinky promise."
"Okay, is there anything i can do for you right now?"
"No, i'm okay, i just need air"
He hugged me again and then got up and left.

Andy's POV-
"Is she okay?" Ash asked worriedly. "Yes, she's just on her uh ladies thingy" i said. I know something else is wrong but i just told him that to make him feel better. "Oh..." They all said. She better tell me damn it.

A few hours later we started getting ready for the concert tonight, i undressed and hopped in the shower of Riley and i's room. She was on her laptop on her bed. I got out of the shower and wrapped a towel around my waist. I blow dried my hair and then added a thin layer of eyeliner on, and a short line on my cheek bones. I walked out and grabbed a misfits tee and black skinnies and then headed back to the bathroom, when i came back out Riley was on the phone talking to someone. I walked out and met the guys and got on the bus prepared to head to the venue. Riley followed shortly after Jake hopped on, we headed to the venue, fans were screaming their lungs out, chanting "black veil brides!" Over and over, i smile spread across my face, nothing makes me happier than our fans. We got out and walked in, everyone screamed and threw flowers and stuff at us.

We went back stage and Riley followed, we practiced as she watched us with a shimmer in her eye. I smiled at her and continued singing 'die for you'
When we finished warming up CC ran out and the crowed erupted into cheers. We were half way through the concert when something caught my eye side stage. It was Riley, dancing along to drag me to the grave. I smiled and continued singing.

The set list for tonight was;
Devil in the mirror
In the end
Drag me to the grave
Ritual
All your hate
Saviour
The morticians daughter
Wretched and divine and finally, rebel love song

"YOU GUYS WERE FUCKING AWESOME TONIGHT! WE'RE BLACK VEIL BRIDES, THANK YOU FOR COMING, I HOPE YOU FUCKERS HAD FUN, GOODNIGHT MANHATTAN!" I yelled into the mic.
We all ran off stage hot and sweaty, Riley smiled at us and handed us towels. We thanked her and chugged down water. "Ah excuse me Mr Biersack, was it the white or black shirts tonight?" Our merch girl Storm asked. "Black" i smiled. Storm smiled back and began to walk away. "Oh Storm!" I called. She turned around and smiled. "This is Riley, she's on tour with us, Riley this is Storm, our merch girl" i said as i drank more water. They shook hands smiled and then Storm went back to selling t-shirts and CD's and what not.

"Riley we have a meet n' greet now but don't think i haven't forgotten. You can tell me back on the bus. Even if it's through text i don't care" i said as i looked in her dark green eyes that had seemed to lost their glow. She nodded and then walked away.

Riley's POV-
Damn it! He didn't forget. I hate talking about myself... Ughhhhh! Maybe when he comes back to our room i can pretend to be asleep! I headed back to the hotel and sat on the bed as i sighed. My mind went back to the day Amber threw the bottle of bleach at me. And all the other times she told me how worthless i was. I literally sat here and thought myself into a bad mood. I couldn't take it anymore, i went to my bag in search of my razor. I found it and a smile formed on my lips. I went to the bathroom in case Andy came back early. I sat on the floor and looked at the scars that filled my body. Thousands. My arms had a few, but the main places where i cut were my thighs and stomach, easier to hide. I took off my jeans and left my panties on and i just couldn't take it...i dragged the blade across my damaged thigh... It helped, but the sting came shortly after, i didn't do it deep enough. I moved to my other leg and dug deeper, i could hear my flesh ripping the deeper i pushed the blade in. Most think that when we cut we'd be crying and hysterical but honestly, when we feel our skin split into two, its the most calm we ever feel.

I began on my other leg writing the word worthless. As i was finishing off the 's' i heard the door shut. "Riley are you here?" Andy said. "Yeah in the bathroom be out in a minute" i said. I quickly scrambled to my feet. "Ah shit... Andy can you get my falling in reverse pj pants please?" I asked. I heard my bag unzip and then he knocked on the door. I tilted my body so he could only see my head as i opened the door. "Thanks" i smiled. He smiled back and then walked to his bag. I shut tue door and pulled my pants up. I then took off my make up and took my hair down. I grabbed my razor and wrapped it in my dirty clothes then walked out to see Andy in his boxers watching tv. Jesus christ have mercy on my soul.

"What?" He smirked. "Nothing" i said quickly as i speed walked to my bag. I sat on my bed and focused on the tv. He was watching cat-dog. "So. Spill" he said sternly as he switched off the tv. I got a lump in my throat. "Riley" he said sternly again. I looked at him. He was sitting cross legged on his bed facing me. "Riley please... You promised..." He said in a more gentle tone. He was right...i did promise. And theres no point promising something if you don't intend to keep it. "I just....g..give me a few s..seconds" i stuttered nervously. He nodded understandingly. "Riley we have all night okay, let me help you. I'll look away if that helps" he said. I nodded sadly. "Well...what do you want to know" i said as i looked at my nails. "Why you were crying today, why i found blood on the bathroom floor the other day" he said. FUCK.
"I was crying because i had simply held everything in for too long...as for the blood, it was my uh period" i lied. "Show me your wrists" he said has he looked at me. I showed him my wrists. The few cuts i had the other day were completely healed. Thank fuck. "Thighs" he demanded. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. "W-why?" I asked. "Because" he said sternly. He just looked at me. "Come on" he demanded again. "No Andy" i said. "Why?" He asked. "MAYBE BECAUSE I DONT WANT TO TAKE MY FUCKING PANTS OFF ANDY" i yelled. He stood up and walked over to my bag. "Hey!" I said now annoyed. He searched through it and pulled out my blade. "Riley please show me your thigh" he sighed as he saw blood on it. Tears welled up in my eyes as i slowly pulled my pants down revealing my freshly cut thighs. I couldn't look at him. "Right you're going to therapy" he said as he put my razor in his draw. You could hear sadness in his voice.

"I don't want to..." I said as i pulled up my pants. "You will otherwise we will need to send you to get tested" he said as he stood in front of me. "Fine i'll see the damn therapist just...please...don't tell the other guys" i said as tears softly fell down my cheeks. He nodded and then pulled me in for a hug. He was warm. Feeling his skin against me felt odd. "Please stop" he said. I pulled away and looked at him. Soft tears were starting to fall from his face. I just want to die right now.