Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
꒰꒰ ⌗ 𝐌𝐑. 𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐅𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐋𝐘 𝐅𝐈𝐍𝐄 ˊˎ
━━━ and now you're gone.
THE WATER DRIPS from the tap, falling lightly onto his palms. the boy stares at the single drop of water cupped in his hands. the faucet is still on, but nothing comes out. he sighs. he'll have to ask the hephaestus campers to fix his sink when he goes out for dinner.
giving up, he wipes his hands on his pants and "turns off" the faucet. he stays in the bathroom for a few minutes. the walls are painted aqua blue and seashells (fake plastic ones) are glued to the walls. the bathroom is nothing special, and if percy had a chance to remodel it, he would not have chosen anything that was currently in it.
he laughs at himself for thinking such foolish thoughts. he reminds himself he is the two-time hero of olympus — he cannot be seen as a mess. he runs his hands through his messy hair. he really should wash his hair, but he couldn't be bothered. besides, he doubts the shower is working either. it seems like his cabin — basically everything around him — is falling apart, just like he is.
it's been over a month since he has seen her, and he's getting worried. he still remembers vividly the look on her face. at first, her face was impassive. one of the many talents she had was hiding emotions, but evidently he had hurt her so much that she couldn't help but burst into tears.
the stony face was gone. he could see her tears shining in the moonlight, and she shivered in the cold night. for the first time, she let the tears flow down her cheeks. he feels even more guilty knowing that he is the reason she is crying. even in the toughest of times, she has never burst into tears in front of anyone. he is the reason she is crying. he has hurt her to such an extent that she has given up hiding her true feelings.
even when silena died, serena had not cried. she was upset, but still managed to keep her emotions in check. percy stares at himself in the mirror. the person staring back at him is far from a hero. he looks like a villain. is he the villain of the story?
but percy isn't the one who betrayed the gods. he isn't the one who managed to betray both the gods and the titan. he isn't the villain — right?
he can't control himself. he slaps the counter, gritting his teeth. why can't he stop? his hand stings, but it's nothing compared to the pain knowing that serena might be long gone. she could've moved across the planet and percy wouldn't know.
percy doesn't know why he still misses her. he knows he shouldn't be, as he is the one who doesn't care (or in this case, pretends to not care). he can't stop thinking about the smell of rosewater she always carried around and her optimistic smiles that kept him going.
even calypso's or aphrodite's beauty cannot compare to how gorgeous serena looked. percy begs his mind to stop. he can't have another mental breakdown. he's had too many, and the other campers will start to get suspicious.
he's stuck in his mind. he doesn't even hear the profuse knocking on his door until his door is broken down and an angry annabeth chase storms into the room. "what are you doing?" she asks, her gray eyes staring at percy. she is livid, probably because he's missed another important camp meeting or something.
percy shrugs. he doesn't know what he's doing. annabeth grabs his arm. "come on!" she exclaims. she drags him out of his cabin. percy looks at her, and sees the tears on her face. he is shocked. why would annabeth be crying?
now percy is concerned. he hadn't heard the desperation in annabeth's voice until now. the campers are gathered around the big house, everyone looking at percy worriedly. percy hears some campers whispering to each other, but he can't make out words. all he hears are tsk sounds.
there is a box of tissues on a table, which clearly is almost out of tissues. many campers are blowing their noses, and others are dabbing their wet eyes. "what happened?" percy asks. he knows something has gone terribly wrong.
annabeth looks like she is about to hit percy, but stops herself. she gives him that we-will-talk-about-this-later look and takes a deep breath. "we got news that um," annabeth looks like she's holding back tears. she pauses and sniffles. percy feels like his soul has left his body. all the campers are here, except one person. he knows what is coming. he doesn't want annabeth to finish her sentence; he wants to yell out loud and fall to the ground.
"serena, she—she killed herself."
and there it was. the line percy has been dreading as soon as serena left. he's always been able to tell she wasn't as well as she was telling everyone, but he hadn't done anything about it. he feels so foolish now. how could he have let her die?
percy is supposed to be the hero. he's supposed to save lives. another person is dead because of him. how many lives has he sacrificed to save the gods? he doesn't know if it was even worth it to fight for the gods.
the tears are coming. percy knows it. he doesn't try to act strong, like he always does. he doesn't try to act like he's fine, because he's not. he's far from being "well" and he's definitely not a leader. he doesn't want to be a leader anymore.
there are times when humans want to give up on life. like there is nothing to live for, like leaving would only benefit the world. percy wants to give up. he wants to see her, and if he just pulls the trigger, he can be with her.
he is a mess. he's supposed to be the hero of olympus, but he feels like he's been stabbed with a sword dripped in the deadliest poison. the poison is ripping his insides, attacking his arms, his legs, his whole body. percy is paralyzed.
he has nothing to lose anymore. serena is gone. who would care if he left too?
but percy knows he can't pull the trigger. he can't tip the cup so the poison is gulped down his throat. he can't — he just can't. the world has too many expectations for him to fail everyone. he knows tattling was a big mistake, and he knows he will never fix it.
the best thing he can do is pretend nothing happened and start over.
