My new Mandarin Teacher

Grace

They say heart over head. But my heart and my head were speaking the same tune. They both advised me not to go to school today. Because English class was coming up today and we would definitely continue rehearsing the scenes.

And yet, I got up from my bed and climbed downstairs to get ready for school. The feeling of being tied down like a puppet by all my limbs literally forced me to go to this place. As if it was my fate to have to lead a hard life and my destiny not to be allowed to make it easier.

Reluctantly, I grabbed my backpack and headed off to school without breakfast.

It was still dark outside and the light from the street lamps reflected off the rain puddles. I strolled up the stairs and entered the classroom. Most of the students were already there and greeted me in chorus. I greeted back and my gaze went to the front row. Adrien was already there too, reading something in a book. As if I was fixed, I stopped at the door and watched him, but he didn't notice anything. His attention was directed only to the book.

Barely noticeable I shook my head and stepped to his table. He looked up and glanced at me. No smile, no sparkle in his eyes, no joy, absolutely nothing. I felt a deep stab in my heart. I took it for granted to be greeted by Adrien with a friendly smile every day. Even if it was a small gesture he gave me to apply, I didn't realize until today that it meant the world to me to come into the classroom and be silently greeted with a bright smile from this boy.

I breathed heavily and set my backpack down on the floor. I bent down and dug out something that shouldn't have been remotely mine.

"Here, your scarf. Thanks again for giving it to me," I placed the scarf carefully folded on his table. He glanced at it and quickly took it.

"Don't mention it.", he replied, but his look told me that it was worth mentioning and it shouldn't happen again. I looked at him for a while longer, but he kept his eyes lowered to the scarf and didn't lift it again.

With a heavy heart, I turned away and went to my seat. But I dared one last time to turn around and catch a glimpse of his being. He sat there, still lowering his gaze. But both my heart and my head said that he wanted to turn around, that he wanted to look at me. And I wasn't wrong. For as inconspicuous as it was, he turned his head and looked at me out of the corner of his eye.

~~**~~

Mrs. Bustier asked us how our scene rehearsals and analysis were going so far and almost everyone's hands shot up. In my seat, I looked around the classroom and observed everyone's faces. Not a single person seemed sad or worried.

Nathaniel had put down his pencil and was supporting his raised arm with his other hand. Kim was also already literally flailing around with his hand, almost knocking Max's glasses off his face. It was not often that either candidate's attention was seen to be devoted to the lesson.Rose was beaming like a blossoming flower and reporting eagerly. Even Juleka put on a slight smile and raised her hand discreetly.

Ivan still had the stern look, but he too apparently had something to say. Mylène rolled her beaded strand of hair with her fingers and also waited her turn like everyone else.

Max straightened his glasses after Kim almost knocked them off his face and just raised his hand. Alix watched him do it and started laughing. She leaned against the back of the bench and announced herself with a loose hand.

I turned to my seatmate at the table and saw that she was coming forward as well. Alya looked over at me briefly and gave me a friendly smile. I smiled back and we turned our attention back to the table.

As we did so, my eyes fell on the front row. Sabrina raising her hand was not a new thing, but the fact that even Chloé raised her hand to say something made me look foolish.