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Chapter 4 - First Crush

It felt so different
Her touch....
It felt different now that I know how I feel....

Now that I know that I like her

Is this what you call a crush!?
The thing people brag about so much the thing i was supposed to have on boys....

I wish I could tell her how I feel...
But I didn't.

Because I didn't want to be beaten to death..
Neither wanted to be abandoned by my family...

Didn't want to ruin my life and reputation in the attempt of being me.
A Me, that the society didn't approve of...

All because of I am queer

But most of all, I didn't want to confess because I didn't want our years of friendship to come crashing down right before my eyes just because I see her as something more than just a friend

"Be my girlfriend "
I got startled by the sudden confession ...

"I mean , I have liked you for a really long time so can you please be my girlfriend?!? "
A classmate of mine asked

I was taken aback by his sudden confession I wasn't sure on what to say, more like how to reject him without bringing trouble upon myself

"I'm sorry , she has a boyfriend" She said her eyes radiating....anger?

Why was she angry??
Or was it jealously?!

Was I being delusional?!
Probably

She grabbed my arms and pulled me away before he could say anything

"Why did you do that?? " Confused, I asked

"Do what?? "

"Reject his confession! "

"Weren't you gonna do that anyway?"

"I.. "

"Don't tell me you were gonna accept it! "

"No of course not"

"Oh ok! Everything's fine then "
She Smiled way too bright for my liking.....
Not that I don't like to see her smile but if she does that , in situation like this I will get the wrong idea....

A week later.....

I entered school with a lot of emotions running through me..

I feel excited to meet her
I felt confused about her feelings towards me
I hoped she'd liked me..
I feared people would find out about my secret
I felt grief and butterflies when I thought of her

It all stopped for a second when I felt her hug me all excited

" Oh my god! You won't believe what happened.. "

"What" I asked smiling way too bright

"I got a boyfriend now"