Issac stared at the moonlight as it shone across his bedroom, illuminating it's colour off of the bland walls. He'd been awake for many hours of the night. His brain was filled with nothing but the emptiness within and his eyes constantly felt heavy, despite getting plenty of sleep. He, himself, had no idea what was wrong with him. For whatever reason, he didn't feel okay. In fact, he felt far from okay. There was a weird feeling in his chest every time he saw a certain someone and it was a feeling that he was aware of yet he had trouble accepting it. He hadn't felt that way in years; it was a feeling that he'd hoped that he'd forgotten about. However, the problem was, he'd never forgotten about how one feels when falling in love. He didn't know why Noah made him like that; he didn't even know the man that well. If anything, Issac wanted to think of himself just as Noah's nanny, nothing more and nothing less. Just a guy that comes every day to take care of his family and do chores. What else could he be? The thing was, the warmth he felt every time Noah was with him said otherwise. The empty feeling in his heart every time he wasn't with Noah. Perhaps the happiness he felt every time he saw the man smile. However, Issac wanted the feeling to go away. He didn't want himself to behave how he did when he was younger, despite him having become far more mature. He didn't want to lose Noah by making the same mistakes he did before. A problem with that was the fact that Issac hadn't accepted the fact that he, indeed, had fallen in love with the man who'd given him a job. He couldn't accept it. He knew that, one day, Noah wouldn't be in his life anymore and that was what scared him most. Issac was never one to pay attention to the future -- he cared far more about the present -- but when it came to Noah, he found himself planning far ahead to make sure that nothing would go wrong. When it came to Noah, he found himself being the most responsible he'd been his whole life. Before he'd met the stressed father, he was an immature, irresponsible guy that had a thing for kids. He was a babysitter when he was younger but even then, he wasn't very responsible. However, now that he had Noah in his life, he was constantly worrying about the man's family, bills and the man himself. It never occurred to him that he cared far more about Noah than he did his children. Even when Issac was called to accompany Noah at the hospital, all he could think about was the latter's feelings. It never crossed his mind that he had children there, too, and the fact that he had a sick mother. Sure, he was still worried about Jane but he was worried more about her son. He never realised how deep he'd fallen.
****
The nanny stepped into the house to see pure chaos. Jamie was crawling up the walls while his rightful owner was trying to catch him with gloves. Kassie was screaming her head off whilst jumping up and down on the couch from the other side of the room. Meanwhile, Asher was simply standing in the corner, watching everything happen. The rest of the home was empty so that surely meant Noah wasn't home which made Issac relieved. The latter didn't want to see the man, especially after realising how he felt about him last night. He sighed in relief before closing the door behind him and attempting to help Blake catch his pet. It'd taken a lot longer than expected but, eventually, Jamie was back into his cage. "Held hostage," as Kassie would describe.
As soon as the clock hit nine, the children were wiped out on their beds and so was the lazy grandpa who hadn't done anything the entire day. Issac ran his fingers through his hair as he heard the soothing -- not really -- sounds of Noah's father's loud snoring from the cold basement below his feet. He turned around before realising that he hadn't seen Noah at all that day. He was slightly relieved but at the same time, he was wondering what the man was doing out so late. Perhaps he was visiting his mother but he'd most likely be home by seven. However, the nanny decided not to think about it too much since he figured Noah would be home soon anyway and it didn't matter.
Once he stepped foot outside of the Miller's residence, he almost fell backward at the sight of Noah standing on the porch, just... standing there. Noah jolted at the sound of feet; he hadn't heard a single sound the entire hour he'd been there. However, he was relieved to see that it was just Issac instead of one of his children or worse, his father. The nanny stared blankly at the man on the porch, unable to conjure up any reasons as to why he was standing there for so long and never came in. If he had, the children would most likely have gone to sleep much easier; as they were constantly asking questions about Noah. "Uh... why are you out here? I-I mean... isn't it late?" Issac finally managed to breath out, his voice coming out as shaky as it sounded when he was a kid.
"Sorry... nobody troubled you, did they? I wanted to come in a while ago but the breeze is nice. Isn't it?" Noah smiled. "Are you doing okay today, by the way? I hope that I didn't force you to do anything if you were still feeling sick."
Issac cleared his throat in order to calm himself down... not that it was working. Now that he was well aware of how he felt towards the man in front of him, his heart was beating a million miles per second at the sight of his cute smile. "Y-yeah... I'm okay. I, uh,... I just didn't sleep too well last night..." He said. It wasn't too big of a lie, though. Issac had spent the entire night thinking about Noah which left him exhausted from not getting any sleep.
Noah nodded but didn't say anything. Rather, he was enjoying the silence between them. With nothing being said and the only sound filling their ears being the cool breeze flying past their faces. After a few minutes had gone by of the two simply standing in silence and doing nothing, Noah finally decided to speak up. "If you want to, you can spend the night here. I-I mean... if you feel comfortable, of course. I mean... you're going to be here in the morning, too, aren't you? So I-I just thought..." He trailed off, glancing at Issac only to see the nanny nodding. "Great! You can sleep in my room if you want. Uh... I'll take my parent's room."
"How about we both just sleep in your room? If you're okay with it, of course."
The man nodded. "Okay."
****
Issac couldn't fall asleep. There was no point in him staying the night since, either way, he wouldn't manage to fall asleep. He wanted to punch himself for suggesting something as stupid as sleeping in the same bed. Seeing the man smile was already hard enough but sleeping with him was ten times worse. However, he didn't want to ditch Noah so he decided it'd be best if he stayed in the bed, though he was wide awake. His heart was about to burst out of his rib cage and his entire face was covered in a crimson red colour, two things he absolutely hated about liking someone.
He rolled over on his side, staring at Noah's back. He let out a sigh, disappointed at the fact that he couldn't see Noah's sleeping face. However, at the same time, he felt relieved that he wasn't able to. He felt that he might not be able to contain himself if he could, whatever that meant.
The nanny ended up spending the whole night twisting and turning, rolling and stilling and doing anything but sleeping.
There was a good thing to it, though. He was thinking, too.
Thinking about what life would be like without the man next to him in it. He wouldn't know what to do with his life if Noah wasn't there with him. Issac always needed something to do; he hated feeling useless but now that he had Noah in his life, he had something to live for. Before, he felt that he had no purpose in living. He felt he could never be in a good relationship; he could never make someone's day better and that he shouldn't be on Earth if he has no purpose. Back then, he was more in depth with his feelings than he was now. Now, all he does is worry about other people and how they are doing rather than how he's doing. It was because he felt that the only thing that mattered was others since he didn't really care about himself. In other words, he was selfless. The only person he cared about was Noah's family and Noah himself since they were struggling and needed help. It wasn't just about them needing help with money, though. Jane's health was dwindling by the day and she had a possibility of dying soon enough. It worried Issac since he didn't want her to die, both for the woman's sake and for her son's. Noah would be absolutely devastated if he found out his mother had passed away and so would his children. The nanny didn't want anybody to be upset but at the same time, he knew that sadness was apart of living and to be human, you have to have a sad moment at least once in your life. Life isn't perfect and that was one of the things that Issac was very much aware of. At times, you just have to deal with your problems face-to-face instead of beating around the bush. Issac, however, wanted the Miller family to be able to have a moment in their lives where they could be care-free and live the joyful life that Issac always wanted them to have.
One problem: It'd take a lot of effort and time to be able to achieve that.
YOU ARE READING
Snowy July - on hold
Romance"I'm not at the wrong house, right?" ** When Noah Miller, a man with three children, a sickly mother and financial struggles, hires Issac White, a rich and carefree, caring and sweet man, as his nanny, they never expected their relationship to be a...
