This Song Is About You

Flashback, Camera, Action

    Updated; July 25, 2023                                          

hey guys!! this is just a little backstory towards Levi's past relationship. This section is just for the readers to better understand Levi and his old girlfriend Rory (who I mentioned in the first chapter)

This is from the past, a year before Levi met Oliver. You do not need to read this part of the story to understand the rest of the book. If you are uncomfortable with the topics listed below, please SKIP.

tw for these topics : mental abuse, domestic violence, gaslighting, drinking/smoking, ed/sh, loneliness, mention of suicide, inappropriate wording/language (swearing)

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                                                      ~ levi's pov, flashback to 1 year ago ~

'im scared. shes crazy."

My hands trembled as I put the final dot on the lined paper. It was soaked, with tears, blood, and black pen ink that had exploded everywhere. I slammed the book shut, forcing myself to not think of her. To not speak of her. To not remember her name.

But it all came back. Last night, it came back live waves in the ocean. The way a comet comes crashing down to earth. Everything came back, it washed up on shore, got found on the land.

My heart wasn't the only thing that hurt. It was my brain, my pride and most importantly, my self-worth.

Maybe she was right, who am I to even think I could be good without her? She convinced me she's the reason I am here, in my spot. Convinced me that, without her, I'd be far from famous. That I was crazy to even think that I could succeed without her. I needed her more then she needed me.

My face was bruised, my hands were torn, my fingers bleeding while I held my lit cigarette and an almost empty beer bottle. My world spun faster then anything. Here i was, in my house, in my own master bedroom, so lost as if I had never seen this place before. 

I slam my pounding head to the back of my bedframe, keeping the cigarette still in my mouth, slowly inhaling. I marvel at my wounds, stretched from my bleeding hands to my purple arms. But I couldn't even feel a thing. 

I felt my face, moving my fingers slowly to examine my swollen face. I winced, abruptly moving my hand back after touching my eye. I knew it was going to become black later. 

Crumbled photographs surround me. All the candles had been burnt out, pen ink all over the walls. Lined paper full of love letters had trashed my room. Scars carved into my skin with a bloody blade that was hidden under my bed.

And there I was. That was me.

A fucking mess.

The scars she gave me weren't close to how much I could damage myself. She made me feel like I needed them, men had to be strong, right? That's the whole point of masculinity. Then why are tears rushing down my cheers, blurring my vision? 

Sometimes I just wonder if I'd be better off dead.

This house smelled of smoke, burnt cigarettes butts lay everywhere. Broken glass bottles scattered in the kitchen, beer dripping on the floor.. She had left, just as easily as she had came. Just as easily she had destroyed me, trashing my home.

God, why me? Why would I still love her after all these shitty months? Why can't I let her go? I realized now that this isn't normal. But I've dug myself too far in to this mess. I can't let myself free. I'll never be free.

I would definitely be better off dead.

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                                                                       ~ authors note ~

hello !! its me again. I hope you understand our fellow mc Levi better now, and if you want me to do more of these I can. I'm thinking about writing a second book just based on his past relationship, like the ups & downs, how they met, etc.. if you'd be interested, comment down bellow !! :)

thank u for all the support and reads on my book !! it means a lot. :)<3

q&a ; should I do a backstory about oliver ?