Chapter 4.5 - Acceptance

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I decided that today's episode would be shorter because I couldn't get to writing. I did not want to. The next part will be chapter 5.

Nevertheless, I hope you enjoy today's episode. As always, I'd love to thank everyone who left a comment or heart! A big thank you goes to @jessssaurus for reading and comenting to every chapter and the same goes to @5AkaashiSimp5! 

You are my motivation to continue!

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His eyes travelled your figure, landing on your features, examining the huge smile on your face. He softened at the sight of you smelling blooming flowers beneath your boots. You were sweet and kind - a true mystery to him.

He felt such happiness he never felt before when he realised you were at ease with him. Seeing you so happy in his presence gave him a comforting feeling which filled his chest with pride. He was the reason for your smile, for your relaxed posture.

Love and romantic feelings were a poetic thing for him, thinking he will never experience these things. But being with you had left him with something utterly pure, his heart yearn for something with you he didnť fully understand. Neverheless he was ready to dive into anything as long as you were by his side.

"Talbott?" You asked softly, pulling him from his thoughts. He looked at you, indicating that he perceived your words. "Thank you for bringing me here. It's so peaceful here." He smiled a little at you even though he was internally pleased with himself; he had a feeling you'd like it here. He found this open flower-strewn platinum in the middle of a dark forest the first year he hid here. At first it was covered behind a thicket of bushes, and it took him days to get rid of everything. From the day he saw this speechless beauty in front of him, he came back here whenever he didn't feel well. It became his refuge, his hiding place.

"I'm glad you like it." He said and watched a pair of squirrels roam the green grass. For many years he had wanted to find someone with whom he could spend his days like this, and although he wasn't sure if you felt the same way he did, he wanted that someone to be you.

"Can I ask you something?" You tried to hide the nervousness in your voice, but a slight fluctuation in volume betrayed you. Did he notice that? According to his slight frown, yes, he did. He placed his palm gently on your shoulder, leaving it there to comfort you. His gesture seemed to relax you.

"Go on." He gave you a gentle push. You turned your body to stand directly opposite Talbott and look him in the eye. "You don't have to answer if you don't want to but..." you paused to give yourself a little more time to formulate your thoughts. "Are you an animagus or something else? I mean... It's uncommon for someone to look half human and half animal. I read reports that in the Middle Ages several wizards tried to modify their own and the bodies of others into an animal form, but that it was so dangerous that these experiments were banned and those who violated it lived the rest of their lives in prison..." Talbott sighed and his hand slid from your shoulder back to his side. He knew you would ask about it sooner or later, wondering what he would answer when the time came. He didn't want to lie to you, he was sure of that, but he didn't know how you would react to the truth.

"I didn't do it, and no one else did it to me. At least not intentionally." He started to explain.

"What do you mean by not intentionally?" You jumped in not quite sure what he meant by his last sentence.

"It is the result of a reflected spell. Or that is the conclusion I came to after several years of studying. That's why I have so many books on transfiguration and the consequences of misusing spells.The one who sent it didn't even know it happened." Something in him broke. Something that had forced him to talk about this unfortunate day, to get it out of him. Confide in someone who would assure him it wasn't his fault.

"When I was little, a group of wizards attacked our house. I hid before they entered my room, but my mother was no longer so lucky. They... They tortured her before my eyes." His voice broke and the first of the tears rolled down his face. It hurt you to see him in such torments and in trying to comfort him at least a little, you grabbed his hand but he didn't acknowledge your presence. He entered a trance of memories and continued talking.

"They casted one curse after another. She knew better than me that if they found me, they would kill me as well, and so she served as a living shield between the wizard and me. I could no longer bear the painful cries of my mother, and I tried to help her. I - I jumped out of the closet where I was hiding. I didn't know what to do, I didn't know how to help, I just wanted to be by her side... To see her smile again. But... The moment I jumped out, the wizard cast a spell on my mom. I don't know which. She reflected the spell with her wand behind here back where I was transforming into my animagus form; eagle. When my mom saw me, she screamed at me to fly somewhere safe and I did. When I came back, everything was gone ... Just gone..." A loud sob broke through the words and set off a waterfall of tears. Talbott collapsed to the ground and ran his hands through his hair. He wrapped his wings around his body and you saw in him a person who wrongly felt guilt for the death of his loved ones.

You knelt beside his shivering curled form, touching his feathers ever so lightly: "It's not your fault. On the contrary, you did everything in your power to save her and I'm proud of you for doing it, despite being scared." You didn't know how to console him, you didn't know what words'd make him feel better. You couldn't do more than offer your grief and your presence. Your eyes blurred and you realized you were crying with him; but you didn't wipe them, instead you just kept gently stroking Talbott's wings behind which he sheltered himself from the outside world and kept whispering reassuring words.

Then something completely unexpected happened - the brown wings opened and a pair of dark hands pulled you into an embrace. You immediately wrapped your arms around his strong shoulders and pulled him even closer to your body. He laid his head on your chest and you ran your hand through his hair, gently stroking him in an effort to comfort him.

"Later on when I tried to transform back into my normal form I was left with my eagle wings. Nothing I tried helped. They are my reminder of my guilt, my cowardice. That my parents died -"

"It's not your fault, Talbott." You interrupted him in a gentle voice and wiped away a few tears from his face. You grabbed his face in your palms and absently ran your thumbs over his smooth skin: "You never wanted them dead, you never hurt them. You weren't the one who raised their wands against them, just as I wasn't the one who killed my brother."

"W-what?" His tender voice broken with quiet sobs sends your heart into a spiral of throbbing memories. Swallowing the tart taste that had formed on the back of your tongue you hoist your form to an upright position, and meet his glassy orbs; ready to tell him your story.

"My brother got lost during his studies here in Hogwarts, and later when I finally found him, he died before my eyes. I blamed myself for years before I realized that at that moment I had done everything I could. That my guilt is really just my grief. I thought if I was stronger or better at spells, maybe he would survive. But... In reality, I could do nothing for him other than live my life to the fullness exactly as he wished for me."

"Y/N..." Your name fell from his lips as a quiet whisper. "Y/N," he repeats ever as breathless, almost as if he was questioning whether he stood in reality or not. Silence settled between two hearts, droning on and blurring out all the surrounding sounds of nature. As if, in that very moment, the world around two broken souls froze with no one but the other on before their sight.

"P-please, stay with me tonight." He asked you in a gappy voice full of pain, and your heart shattered into several pieces.

You found his gaze with gentle countenance: "Always honey, always. I will never leave you."

To be continued

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