Our Flame

LX

NADIA

"Hey." I look up at Luka and Niko. I practically had to force Ezra to leave, his world can't stop just because of me. Fortunately, he has a place in Russia and will stay as long as I need him to.

"I'm sorry." I speak again, "For putting you through everything that you might've went through in the past month and for the taunting videos."

I didn't send the videos, I was a victim- yes but my brothers were still forced to watch me get hurt. In a way, they're victims too. "That's not your fault." Luka shakes his head.

"You didn't ask to be kidnapped, nor did you ask to be hurt in the ways you were." Niko tells me. I nod, not knowing what to say.

"How do you feel?" Luka questions. I sigh, looking at my leg. "Vengeful." I mumble. I want my father to experience a hurt that he never knew existed and I want to be the one to show him.

"You'll get your revenge." Luka nods at me, "How's the leg?" Niko wonders. "What if I never walk again- Nadia." They both interrupt me. "I just feel like I can't do anything." I admit.

"I couldn't protect myself, I couldn't save Oscar, I can barely fucking walk, I can't find the man who's to blame for all this and I don't even know what to do." I cry out.

"You don't have to know everything." Niko shrugs, "You went through something unimaginable, I'd be freaked out if you had a plan for everything you want to do."

"You'll never be able to save everyone Nadia, no matter how much you wish you could." Luka says.

"No matter what you do, we love you." Luka reminds. I give the two of them a small smile, I carefully hug the two of them.

"Which brother is next?" They both ask. "Alek." I respond. "Do not be mad at us after that one." Niko quickly says. I raise an eyebrow, "Just don't, okay?" Niko speaks again.

I roll my eyes as they exit the room, I stare at my leg wondering how the man I once looked up to could do that. How can you shoot your own daughter, twice?

"Hi Alek." I look at my brother. Aleksi looks tired while his eyes hold an unrecognizable look. He doesn't speak as he continues to stare at me.

"Alek, you didn't do anything." I remind him. "Viktor and Vadim thought I had something to do with you going missing."

I try to sit up ignoring the pain in my side, "Why would they think that?" I question. "Cause of our fight that day. I'm sorry." Aleksi leans back in his chair. I quickly shake my head.

"It's fine. You're my big brother, we're always going to fight. Some fights may be worse than others but at the end of the day, I love you just the same."

"They didn't have the right to accuse you. I'm your little sister too." I speak again. Aleksi nods taking in my words. "Next time we argue, don't forget you're still the baby of the family." Aleksi looks at me.

I laugh, a real laugh- the first one in a while. "That has nothing to do with our arguments." I remind. "It means I'm always right." He shrugs. I scoff, "As if."

I clear my throat as silence takes over the room, "I think Mama would be very proud of you, of all of us." I say.

Aleksi shakes his head, "She'd be proud of everyone else." Aleksi disagrees. I raise an eyebrow, "I haven't been the son that she envisioned me to be. I've lied and I've cheated. I'm a sinner."

"If she were here, she wouldn't care about that. She'd tell you how much she loved you. Aleksi, you are her son despite the choices you've made." I tell him.

"Yeah." He sighs, not believing me. "We've all sinned." I remind. "Nadia, what separates us from the people we kill? We're no better than them, at the end of the day- murder is murder."

I was almost taken back at his words. I use to think about that question, it weighed on my mind. And the hard truth is, we're no different.

"We're different because we have each other to pull us away from all the darkness we get caught up in. It doesn't always feel like it but that's our difference."

Part of me believes what I said, the other knows it isn't true. Aleksi opens his mouth to speak but stops when I groan in pain. "What's wrong?" He quickly stands closer to me.

Tears fill my eyes at the pain in my side, "Fuck, Nadia. Hold on." Aleksi says before slamming the door open. He yells a few things just as the doctors and my brothers rush into the room.

"Where's the pain?" She quickly questions, I point to my side. My body moves away when she touches my side, pain spreads through every part of me.

A whimper escapes my lips,my eyes scan the room searching for Ezra. "He'll be back soon." Viktor answers, knowing who I was looking for.

"Internal bleeding." The doctor states. "It's not major, but if you gain any other symptoms you'll go into surgery. As of now you just have to breathe through it."

"Breathe through it? She's on the verge of fucking tears." Luka points to me. "If she doesn't want the medication, there isn't much I can do." The doctor stops speaking.

"We could do Fentanyl." She speaks. My head snaps towards her, "Are you joking?" I give her a bored look. "It's a narcotic." She responds. "That's the problem."

"It's in the same class as opioids." I remind, speaking through my pain. "I'll deal with it." I mumble. She exits the room. I attempt to lay back down, ignoring the pain.

"Please stay." I stare at all of my brothers. "We're not going anywhere, Nadi."

I could almost roll my eyes at the childhood nickname. But some part of me needs the reminder of my childhood more than ever.

I need the reminder that the little girl in me didn't deserve what happened to her.

"I'm really sorry guys." My voice comes out shaky. "I shouldn't have stormed out." I say. "You were upset, and we're sorry that we made you feel that way." Vadim speaks up.

"I thought that you guys only saw me as an addict." I admit. "You aren't your past, Nadia." Gianna grabs my hand.

"Nadia, you're our little sister. We just want you to be safe, we never want you to feel like we view you as anything less than perfect."

I wipe the stray tear that fell from my eyes, "I love you guys." I chuckle sadly, "мы любим тебя." They all respond.

translation: we love you

That might've been all I needed to remember that I am still loved despite what I went through. Despite who I am and who I was.

**
word count: 1188
so ready for Nadia to go on a killing spree with Ezra.