The Way I Loved You | Tobias Eaton

four

before,
Fallon, age 16
two years ago

"Then, he had us trace the bones in our own bodies, running a hand over-" Tobias's voice comes to a halt mid-sentence.

"Why'd you stop?" I asked. Though I wasn't paying much attention to the story itself, I quite enjoyed listening to Tobias's melodic voice as he reads to me.

"Just checking to see if you were even still listening," Tobias answers and I could hear the smile in his voice.

I'm half-sprawled over his body, with my head resting on his chest and eyes closed. I could see why he thinks I'm asleep, all of this is pretty comfortable.

I pop an eye open to look at my...I guess one would call him my boyfriend. "I am. Keep going." I tell him before squeezing my eyes close again and snuggling against his chest.

Tobias's chest rumbles under my ear as he lets out a deep chuckle, his fingers trailing lightly up and down my spine in a calming way that has me on the verge of actually falling asleep.

"She was beautiful," Tobias continues and I frown, wondering if he had switched books and was now reading a different one from when we had started, and when he even had the time to do it without me noticing. "From her long, brown hair to those beautiful eyes that spoke to my soul. They were hazel on most days but would turn a stunning shade of green on others. The constellation of freckles scattered across her cheeks is possibly the most enduring thing I've seen. I just wished she was able to see it the way I do-"

"Oh my god, stop!" I slap a hand over his mouth when I realise he was describing me. No matter how cheesy it was, it still couldn't stop a wide grin from spreading across my face.

Tobias smiles against my hand, reaching up to clasp my hand in his and pressing a kiss to my palm before interlacing our fingers.

I rest my head back down with my ear pressed up against his chest and listen to the steady beat of his heart as his fingers trailed lightly up and down my spine.

This entire moment was picture perfect, and I hated to ruin it, but I had to ask the question that's been plaguing my mind for days now.

"Are you nervous?"

Tobias's aptitude test is coming up soon and with that, the choosing ceremony.

We've spoken about this before. Right under this very tree- our tree- Tobias and I had made plans for our futures together.

We'd agreed that we would stay in Abnegation because this is where my parents are. Eventually, we'll move in together. Get married. Start a family. Most importantly, we'll be happy.

That was what he had promised.

But as the choosing ceremony grew closer, I can't help but feel the silver of doubt that manages to creep in from time to time.

Maybe it was just nerves from uncertainty, or maybe it had something to do with how undeniably young we both still were. Or maybe- and perhaps my biggest fear- was that a part of me knew that he had his doubts, too. That much was normal when one is faced with such a life-altering decision, I guess. But...there was just something about this that I couldn't quite put my finger on. A hesitancy to Tobias that I couldn't quite pinpoint where it had stemmed from. Whatever it was that had him second-guessing his choices, I hoped it wasn't us.