Speak//Ashton Irwin

Chapter 1

Brooke:
Most people have heard the phrase, 'Silence is golden', many would agree with it: people with screaming children running wild around the house or working in a noisy office. For me, however, it meant something entirely different. Silence consumed my whole life, it suppressed things i could never express. My silence was responsible for my families happiness. Silence was my prison.

"Are you ready to leave, Brooke? Ashton is waiting outside," my mum said softly. She leant against the doorframe of my room and smiled warmly. Through her smile, however, I could see how tired she looked. Dark shadows were now a permanent feature under her eyes. Her smile as false as my own, and it was all because of me.
Every single day I want to tell her what happened. To have her hold me in her arms and promise me that everything would be alright, but reality stopped me every time. The fantasy I had in my head of how things would turn out was just that; a fantasy. I knew that, he had told me enough times.
Placing my hairbrush on the dresser, I turned to mum and nodded my head once. With a deep breath, I followed her downstairs
It wasn't until we reached the front door that she looked at me again. "Have a good day, okay?" Almost everything she said to me was a question. As the words left her mouth, her eyes widened in the desperate hope that I would reply, and every time I responded with a brief nod, her shoulders would sag.
I grabbed my school bag by the door and swung it over my shoulder as I walked outside.
The morning sun beamed down on me as I turned into the street, making me squint at the brightness. It was the middle of July, and almost time for school to close for the summer holidays.
Ashton beeped his car horn even though he was parked right outside my house. Thanks, Ashton, might have missed you without that. He grinned through the window as I made my way to his car, his dark blue eyes glistening in the light.
Ashton Irwin and I had been friends since we were babies. Mum had pictures of Ashton holding my hand as I learned to walk. He was two years older than me, but he certainly didn't act like it. My mum and his mum, Anne, met in high school, and they had been friends ever since.
"Good morning sunshine," he greeted, with a stretched grin. Unlike mums, the smiles I received from him never changed. Grinning back was as natural as breathing. His happiness was infectious, our friendship had always been fun, affectionate, loving, and carefree.
It wasn't always a bed of roses, though. There were times when he would beg and plead with me to tell him what was wrong. He had begged me to talk again. I found that harder than when Mum pleaded with me. As he was the one person that I could still feel normal with, I hated hurting and disappointing him.
He started the engine and his rusty old car roared to life. It hadn't been long since he passed his driving test, but he was a good driver and I trusted him with my life, still, I gripped the seat as he sped off. We passed his house, which was just two doors away from mine, and I sighed. I hated school with a passion.
Ashton talked almost continuously on the drive to school, chatting away about his car and what he would do later. Occasionally, I would nod or smile in response to something he said, but apart from that I just sat and listened to him speaking. His voice was smooth and calming. Not talking to him was hard. I desperately wanted to return his quick banter with something smart of my own. But I stayed tongue-tied.
As we pulled into the half-full car park, I started to feel sick. People seemed to whisper to each other whenever I was around. I was used to it, but I still hated being the center of all jokes and bitchy comments.
"Brooke?" I jumped and looked up at Ashton. He smiled. "You gonna be okay today?" I nodded, grimacing slightly. I hated when we had to go our separate ways, and I wished I was older so we would be in the same year.
"Text me if you need anything," He instructed, kissing me on the cheek, sending little bolts of electricity through my body. Ashton knew I wouldn't text him, but he still said the same thing every single day. "See you later," he called as he walked towards his class next to the high school.
Once he was out of view, I let the smile slip from my face. There was no one to pretend to now. It was almost a relief not to have to pretend I was fine. Walking towards the entrance of school, I pulled my sleeves down over my hands and wrapped my arms around myself. Just keep your head down. Not long until school is over for six weeks.
The bell rang, signaling the start of the school day just as I got inside the old red brick building. My home room was at the end of a corridor that seemed to stretch on for miles. I walked quickly to avoid being caught up with the people still loitering around. Taking my usual seat next to Alexus, I rested my arms on the desk.
Mornings were the hardest as there was much of the day to get through. Alexus smiled at me, and I returned the gesture. We weren't necessarily friends, but she was the closest thing I had in school. She didn't judge or treat me any differently. I just didn't think she knew how to act around me most of the time. I liked her for trying though.
"School sucks," she grumbled, tucking her dark hair behind her ears. Completely agreeing with you, I thought glumly.
"Brooke, what did you do last night?" One of the boys shouted from the back of the classroom. I recognized his voice as Luke Hemmings, one of the biggest idiots of the school.
"Sorry, I didn't quite hear you." The room erupted with laughter, and I rolled my eyes. Original, Luke.
"Ignore them," Alexus whispered, squeezing my arm sympathetically.
I smiled at her and then sighed in relief as Mrs Yates walked into the room. With a quick greeting, she flipped the attendance book open and pulled the lid off her pen. Like everyone else, she called my name but looked up at the same time, knowing she wasn't getting an answer. There was never any pressure on me from the teachers to talk, they made sure everything was as normal as possible wherever it could be.
After the attendance was called everyone chatted, waiting for the bell to ring for the first lesson. "Ready for math?" Alexus groaned as the bell chimed. Nope. My expression mirrored hers. Math wasn't my favorite subject, and today was a double lesson. "Do you think we'll ever use anything we've learnt in math in the real world?" She mused.
Most definitely. Although probably not 'Jimmy left at nine in the morning, Jenny left at nine-thirty their stations were fifty miles apart, what time do they pass each other?' questions.
I had most lessons with Alexus. We sat together through them all, but she spoke to her two other friends more, unsurprisingly since they actually answered her. That was okay with me though. I preferred to do work to pass the time.
"Good morning," Mr Spice greeted. "Pass these around and get started." He handed Calum the stack of papers and went to sit down.
The class seemed to drag on forever. For the whole two hours, we all worked from the sheets. It was almost like doing a test. Boredom is actually going to kill me. I flipped the worksheet over, only to find another one.
Finally, the bell rang, and it was time for the first break of the day. Stuffing my pencil case into my bag, I mentally planned my route to the next class. Noel, Delaney, and Miranda peered over their shoulders as they walked towards the door, snickering. My heart dropped a little, but I tried not to let them get to me. It wouldn't be long before we would leave school and I wouldn't have to see them again.
Heading straight to my third lesson, I kept my head down, hoping to go unnoticed. I took the longer route to my next lesson because there were usually less people around.
The sun was even brighter than when I left home this morning, and as it shone in my face I cradled my hand over my eyes to create a little shade. Suddenly I slammed into someone who was walking around the corner. Gasping I stumbled back.
"Sorry," a deep voice said. I looked up and stepped back again. I felt sick as Harry grinned back at me. His smile wasn't a friendly one, more like one from a predator that had just caught its pray. "Brooke," he said, in what he probably thought was a playful tone. Not now.
I gulped and straightened my back to try to look more confident than I was. Look him in the eye, I ordered myself.
"Miss me over the weekend?" Harry took a step towards me and I wanted to run. Running wouldn't help me at all though. I needed to be strong. Raising my head, I continued to stare him right in the eye. I wasn't sure where this was going.
"Miss Wollet, Mr Styles, get to class Now!" The head teacher, Mr Simmons, bellowed. I sagged in relief and scurried off to biology, refusing to look back at Harry. I just wanted to make it through the day without anything bad happening.