Speak//Ashton Irwin

Chapter 17

Brooke:
I woke up to the bed dipping, stirring me out of sleep.
"Sorry," Ashton whispered. "It's almost six, so I thought I should go. I'll come back in a couple hours and we can go to breakfast."
He bent down and kissed me lightly, his lips lingering on mine for a few seconds. Then I watched him creep out of my room with the hope he would stay again tonight. Waking up in the morning with him felt incredible. He seemed to unconsciously know how far to push me to get me to open up further and let him in.
There was absolutely no way I could get back to sleep now. I got up, had a long shower and dressed in my room since I was alone now. Opening the double doors, I stepped onto the small balcony and sat down on the only seat that'd fit. It was very peaceful so early. Only a few people were awake now the resort. One couple, probably about my parents age, sat at the bar drinking cocktails. It wasn't even 7am yet. My parents' balcony door slid open. We were separated by the railing so they couldn't get to my room from here. I bit my lip and looked over as Dad stepped out, dressed in shorts and a short sleeve shirt.
He looked over and saw me immediately. "Good morning," he said. "Did you and Ashton have a nice time yesterday?"
I nodded and felt my body hunch in the seat.
"Remember I want you both back for dinner each night. No exceptions, you're still a child."
No, I'm not.
I lift the corner of my mouth. Neither of us would skip on dinner anyway, we knew if we did that'd be the end of the freedom.
"Good. I think your mum's waking up. We'll see you for breakfast soon."
He went back inside, and I could breathe again.
Just after eight, almost right on time, there was a knock on my door. Ashton smiled as I opened the door. "Hi." He stepped forward and planted a quick kiss on my lips. "Ready to go down?"
I nodded and stepped out of my room just as Mum and Dad walked out of theirs. "Morning, honey, Ashton," Mum said and gave me a hug.
"Hungry?" Dad asked.
"Starving," Ashton replied and nodded towards the lift at the end of the corridor. "You seen anyone else this morning?"
Dad shook his head. "Sarah's just got off the phone to your mum, and they were on their way down for breakfast. We'll meet them down there. I've not heard from Lauren, and I'd imagine Louis is...elsewhere."
In some poor girl's room, I imagine.
I stepped closer to Ashton as we walked to the lift and waited for it to arrive.
"What do you have planned today? Your father and I are going shopping with David and Anne," Mum had asked me but waited for the reply from Ashton.
"We're diving this morning."
I raised my eyebrow at him. He wasn't going to tell them about our spa afternoon. He probably wouldn't ever tell anyone.
"Is it safe?" Mum questioned, frowning with worry.
Dad chuckled. "Of course, it is, Sarah. There's a qualified instructor, isn't there?" Ashton nodded. "See. They'll be in safe hands. There's plenty to do, and with the exception of clubbing, we did agree that Brooke could do what she liked."
I often wondered if Dad was cool about things like this because he felt guilty. I had to believe he felt remorse for what he had let Frank do to me. I couldn't believe that my daddy was a cold, heartless monster.
Well, you make sure you look after her," Mum ordered Ashton.
He nodded. "Always."
I liked the sound of that.
In the end, it was only David, Anne and Lauren who joined us for breakfast. Louis was nowhere to be seen. Not that it was much of a surprise. He now treated holidays, or any days actually, as a chance to sleep with anything that moved.
Breakfast was an all you can eat buffet, which Ashton took very seriously. I didn't eat much because I didn't want it to come back up again while we were diving. I was already feeling queasy with nerves.
"Have fun and be careful," Anne said as Ashton and I got up to leave for the beach.
Fun was unlikely, but my adrenaline was pumping at the mere thought of doing something so out of character.
Ashton grinned. "Oh, we will, right, Aves."
Maybe I wasn't falling for him after all...
I walked down to the beach, holding Ashton's hand so tightly I was probably crushing his bones. Under my clothes was my bikini, but for diving we'd be given a wetsuit to wear over the top.
"Are you ready for this?" Ashton said as we arrived back at the sports shack.
I shook my head but grinned, unable to hide the smidge of excitement I felt.
The Australian guy, who told us his name was Liam, showed us how to use the equipment. I made sure I listened hard and repeated everything in my head over and over. We'd have an instructor with us, but I was still scared.
Stop being ridiculous. You're not even going that deep.
Ashton was practically bouncing up and down as we walked with our little group of six into the sea. Liam instructed us in what to do, and then he disappeared beneath the water.
"Ready?" Ashton asked. He stuck his oxygen thing in his mouth.
What is that called again? Hell! It doesn't really matter what it's called as long as it works. Nodding, I took one last deep breath and mirrored his actions.
We sank to our knees and the second I was underwater I knew this was a good idea. It was incredible. I wanted to smile, but I didn't want to do anything that could make me swallow water.
Ashton grabbed my hand and looked towards Liam, who was gesturing for us all to follow him. I didn't have a death wish, so I followed closely behind and next to Ashton. We were at the back of the group, but that was great because it felt like it was just him and me.
We swam deeper into the sea, and I wondered how much further we would be going. I knew I wouldn't be able to stand up and have my head above the water by this point, but I wasn't sure exactly how deep we were. It didn't matter though, I was bloody loving it.
Ashton took my hand as we watched fish swim around us. I was so wrong about the sea.
Once our time was up, Liam gestured for us to swim back to the surface, and then he led us back to the shore. "You so enjoyed that, didn't you," Ashton teased as we walked back to the shack to return the equipment, knowing full well that once I was under the water I loved every second of it.
I shrugged nonchalantly but my traitorous lips curled.
"I knew you would. Let's head back for a shower, and then I'll come to your room. Wanna have lunch before the spa crap this afternoon?"
I nodded and nudged him with my shoulder. Like he wouldn't enjoy a massage from one of the impossibly beautiful women that worked at the hotel.
We got back, grabbed a quick lunch out by the pool and then went to the spa. Ashton suddenly felt 'unwell'. "Maybe I should just wait out here for you," he suggested, wiping his forehead with the back of his hand.
Really. I shook my head and shoved him towards the reception desk. There wasn't a single thing he could say that would change my mind about this. He was getting a facial and a massage.
"Welcome. I'm Isabelle. How can I help?" Said an equally beautiful woman to the ones who were in the spa yesterday. If I could just see someone else who was plain looking, that'd be great.
"We have some stuff booked. Under the name Irwin," Ashton said quietly as if saying it any louder would make it more real.
"Ah, yes. Okay, if you'd like to follow me, I'll show you to your massage room."
I followed Isabelle with a huge smile. I was feeling giddy with excitement at having a massage with Ashton. Isabelle opened a door, and the smell of rose oil hit me. Two white beds were in the middle of the room. There was a chest on the far wall with loads of little draws and a huge bunch of pink orchids in a white vase on top.
"There are towels on the beds. If you remove all of your clothes and cover yourself, your masseuse will be with you in five minutes."
My eyes widened. Remove all of our clothes. Okay, I did not think this through. I'd not been naked in front of Ashton before. She left the room, and I started to hyperventilate.
"You can leave your underwear on, just move your bra straps off your shoulders," Ashton suggested. "I'll turn around. I won't look. I promise."
Oh, God. Breathe.
The last time I was naked in front of another person...
I squeezed my eyes closed. Don't think about that. Ashton isn't going to hurt you. With a deep breath, I opened my eyes and removed the dress I was wearing. It's fine; you can do this.
Ashton removed his top and shorts quickly, unashamed, but he left his boxers on.
"I'm not looking, Brooke. Go ahead," he said with a chuckle as he laid face down on the massage table. As promised, he didn't look, and I shoved my bra straps down and got on the bed. As soon as I was lying down, I made sure the towel covered me from my underarms to my knees.
"You good?" he asked, turning his head and smiling at me. I nodded, fisting my hands through the rapid beating of my heart.
Everything's fine.
A knock at the door made me jump. Ashton called out to let the masseuse know we were ready. Thankfully two women entered. There was no way a man, who wasn't Ashton, was going to touch my body.
Never again.
"Okay, this was a good idea," he admitted halfway through. Yeah, I bet he thought that with yesterday's gorgeous model massaging him. I closed my eyes as Elaina worked her skilful hands over my shoulders. I had a lot of tension, but for the first time in years I was fully relaxed.
When our thirty minutes were up, I pouted and got up to get dressed as Elaina and Ashton's masseuse left the room. Ashton turned around again so I could have some privacy.
Does it really matter if he sees you? I wasn't scared of Ashton or what he would do because I trusted him with my life. Impulsively, I grabbed the top of his arm and spun him around.
"What...?" he croaked. His eyes widened as they landed on my half-naked body. I was covered by my underwear, but it was still very intimate. He gulped audibly, his Adams apple bobbed. "I can turn... Um, turn around if... Err," he stuttered, stumbling over his words. It was cute to see him tongue-tied, and it kind of gave me a thrill to know I'd made him like that.
Shaking my head, I pulled my straps up, all the while being careful not to flash him. We both dressed in complete silence, and neither one of us took our eyes off the other. The only sound that could be heard was our ragged breathing.
"You're beautiful," he whispered once we were dressed. He stepped closer to me, and I blushed, feeling the heat warm my whole body. My eyes prickled, and I willed myself not to cry. I didn't feel beautiful, but knowing Ashton thought I was meant everything to me.
He smiled and bent his head to kiss me. "Let's get this face mud crap over with."
I broke out in a smile and led him back to reception.
We were led into another room, this time bigger, and not at all private. Ashton glared at me as the three young women looked up at us; their faces were smothered in a dark green paste. I tried not to laugh, but I couldn't help it. Though having enjoyed the diving so much, I did feel bad for making him go through something he clearly didn't want to do.
"I thought this was a couple's thing? As in two people!"
Nope, just the massage. This is fun.
For the whole time we were in that room Ashton frowned and moaned. When he looked over at me with a grey face that looked like he'd fallen in a cement mixer, I wished I had brought my camera with me. Not that the image would ever leave me.
As soon as our facemasks were off, he stood up ready to leave.
"Lunch and beer," he announced. Beer to restore his masculinity? Bless. He'd have to hope that Louis or Lauren were around to get him a beer first. He wrapped his arm around my waist and we made our way to the outside hotel bar.
The holiday was flying past too quickly. I hated how close we were to leaving, but I was still having the time of my life. Ashton and I hung out at the beach a lot, and I was actually getting a tan. It was a nice change from my usual pasty, ghostly white. We barely saw our parents during the day, except for breakfast most morning and every evening for dinner.
I couldn't wait until I was old enough to leave home. Lauren spent most of her time with a girl she had met on the second day. They'd go out every night and look for 'hotties' apparently. Neither one of them found a holiday romance, and I suspected Lauren wasn't up for it because she was still holding onto Chris. But she was having a good time.
And Louis, well, we saw him around the hotel occasionally. He would get up at around three in the afternoon and chill by the pool bar, have dinner with us and then go out all night. I overheard him tell Ashton that he'd only woke up in his room a few times. Gross.
Since the dressing incident in the spa, I grew even more comfortable and confident around Ashton. We now both thought nothing of changing in front of each other. Every night he would sneak into my room and sleep in my bed. We would just mess around and kiss until we fell asleep. He didn't try to touch me intimately, and I loved him for that. Although, while caught up in the moment, I'd wanted him to so many times.
He made me burn for something I knew would be amazing with him. I wanted to take things further, and I was getting more confident with letting him know that.
After dinner, Ashton and I decided to chill in my room and watch a movie. We were going to the water park again early in the morning, so we didn't want to be out too late. My parents were off with David and Anne in town for dinner and a show. Louis was doing his usual, and Lauren was out in town with Hazel.
I climbed on the bed and hovered above him, my hands beside his face. He instantly smiled, wrapped his hand around the back of my head and pulled me down. His lips captured mine in a kiss that made my toes curl. Slowly, he rolled us so he was on top.
He chuckled and kissed my forehead. "Brooke?" His voice wobbled nervously. "This is probably really late considering everything but...well, I was wondering if..." He sighed and shook his head, frowning at himself. "Shit, I'm such a twat. Will you be my girlfriend?"
My mouth fell open. Breathe, Brooke!
His body tensed. "Err, is that a no?"
I shook my head, and he frowned.
"It's a yes?"
I nodded and kissed him. That was the biggest and easiest yes I'd ever said. He pulled away and kissed down my neck. I froze for a second; fighting between wanting more and being terrified by how I might react.
Ashton moaned as he ran his hand down the side of my body and gripped the bottom of my top. This was that defining moment where I had to decide if I was going to listen to what I actually wanted or what I thought I should want.
No more putting my life on hold. We weren't doing anything wrong, and I wanted this.
I loved how he made me feel and how natural being with him was.
This is my choice. No one else's.
When I didn't push him away, he pulled my top over my head. His lips only left mine for a second while he whipped my top off. My whole body felt like it was on fire. Everywhere he touched made my skin tingle. His hands caressed my stomach and chest with such a gentle touch it almost tickled.
He groaned, and his eyes smouldered. "Maybe we should stop..." He made it sound like a question, a question he knew the answer to. Putting the last of my fears to one side, I shook my head, and Ashton looked nervous.
My decision to be with him wasn't an easy one, but I loved him and trusted him. This was about us, no one else.
"Are you sure?" he whispered. His voice was thick with lust it made my stomach clench. I nodded and ran my hand through his soft hair.
"Are you scared?"
No, not of being with you.
I shook my head, and he chuckled.
"Don't worry, I'm kinda nervous, too." Why was he nervous? "This isn't just your first time," he admitted, biting his lip. Ashton was a virgin. My eyes widened, and he raised an eyebrow at me. "Not sure if I should be insulted by your surprise or not."
I shook my head, trying to make sense of what he said. How could he be a virgin? He'd had a couple of girlfriends before, although they hadn't lasted very long, but still...
"It took so long for me to even consider there might even be a tiny chance that you liked me the same way I liked you. I've never slept with anyone because... because I've only ever wanted you," he whispered.
Oh.
Wow.
I felt a warm tear roll down the side of my face, which Ashton wiped away with his thumb. He smiled and added, "I love you, Brooke. Always have. Always will." Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath as warmth spread through my chest.
I felt a gentle pressure on my lips, and I kissed him back, showing him how much I loved him, too.