Broken Soul | Din Djarin

chapter twenty-seven: a moment of bliss

You watch the kid as he throws the metal orb into the air and waddles to catch it. You'd been trying to meditate but the kid's excitement in his play had distracted you. Eventually, you gave up and watched the kid in contentment.

It's been days since the encounter with the mercenaries and since you'd said your good-byes with Ari. Sometimes you can feel his presence; not in the Force, but in your heart. Din's started to notice the change in your nature, as you suddenly seem unafraid of showing your emotions. While some days still bring terrible memories, your emotional burden has lightened after your parting with Ari. You haven't told Din what's happened yet; that you finally spoke with Ari and that you had let him go. You haven't found a time where you could casually bring it up in conversation and, besides, you don't want to taint your new relationship with Din.

Is this a relationship? We haven't spoken about it and I don't even know if he still feels that way anymore. It's been so long since he first told me... I haven't even told him how I feel yet. I'm not even sure exactly how I feel yet. Ari told me that Din loved me... I don't know if that's true and I don't know if I love Din. Just thinking about loving someone again... it's strange.

Despite your slight communication issue with Din, you've started to notice that the terrors in your dreams have lessened. It's as if your soul has been soothed by Din just being close by. The nightmares don't come whenever he sleeps by your side.

Din told you that you had spoken in your sleep the other day, whispering Ari's name and reaching out in the dark as if he was there with you. You had grabbed Din's hand in your dream-like state and fallen back into a deep slumber once his hand had closed around your own.

At first, you were confused when he awkwardly mentioned the event. But then you had remembered how your arm was hanging off the side of your cot when you had awoken that morning. Din's hand had been outstretched on the floor by your side.

Din was concerned that your nightmares had returned, but you quietly admitted that it had been a happy memory... not one of Ari's demise. It took you some time to convince him that you were fine and that you were trying to move past your grief. Din had sat quietly, listening to you explain your attempts in continuing to move forward from the past.

It's been comfortable in the past few days. You occasionally check on Din's stab wound and the two of you spend a lot of time just talking. You haven't told him about your recent realization of your feelings for him and you are unsure when or if you should even confess them. For the moment, you just enjoy spending this time with him. He's asked you more questions about your training in the Jedi and about any planets that you are interested in revisiting. For the time being, he's landed the Crest on Yavin-4, and you can hear the dull thud of rain as it hits the outside of the ship. Thinking of his question, however, no planets come to mind; because, truthfully, you're scared for the memories to flood in if you were to revisit an old planet. You've been thinking a lot about Ilum lately, and how you will probably have to visit the Jedi Temple that resides there soon. You haven't stepped foot in a Temple since you had returned to the old one on Coruscant... which has since then been destroyed.

Perhaps it will help me with my meditation and healing... I need to try to reach out to the old Masters anyway... for guidance. I wonder if they ever truly were able to heal and move on. I wish Obi-Wan was still here.

You look up when you hear the distorted sounds of a man's voice coming from the cockpit. Straining your ears to listen, you stand and make your way over to the ladder, leaning in and looking up at the door to the cockpit.

The distance is making their words uncertain and you call the kid over to you.

"Come on, theesa. Let's visit your dad."