A Better Place - The Hobbit Fanfiction

Alternate Entry Twenty-Three - Bain and Bad Dreams

That fall Gimli-while at a supper at his family's house, to which Bofur and I had been invited, which we often were-looked sidelong at me while I was carrying on a perfectly pleasant conversation with Freda and Fraeg about grass stains and decided the time was ripe to interrupt. "I've heard this rumor when I was down in Dale," he said. "Apparently Bard's boy has taken a liking to you."

One of my hands shot out and shoved him bodily out of his chair and onto the floor, while he made several flustered retorts and the rest of the table laughed.

"I've found that letting it soak and dry in the stain remover works best," I carried on, not about to let a fellow like Gimli take me out of stride. But having finished what I wanted to say I turned instead to face our favorite truant and without pause, as he dropped back into his chair, said, "And what, Gimli? Or am I just supposed to let you make your teases and acknowledge them and carry on? Somehow I doubt that's what you were after."

"It was just an observation!" He put up both hands and both eyebrows in defense. I could see the mirth in his brown eyes. "The passing along of what other people told me."

"So?"

"So nothing!" he insisted.

"Bofur doesn't mind," I stated. We hadn't discussed it, but we knew each other fairly well by now.

But then of course everyone turned to look at Bofur, who stopped chewing, self-consciously, and shrugged. "What? She's a big girl, she can make her own decisions."

Freda was giving me a disapproving look though. I turned my gaze to her to invite her to share her opinions. "I thought you'd chosen to live in our world," she said.

"I have. But your world doesn't belong to me as well as it belongs to you. I'm mixed. I have chosen to see this in the more optimistic light of allowing me more opportunities rather than taking them away."

I could see that not all of them quite saw this my way, but that was all right with me. Still they were giving me the precious freedom of being allowed to make up my own mind without influence, if I didn't want it.

Bofur and I did talk about it that night though, after I'd built up the fire and collapsed in my chair, stockinged toes stretched out to it. "I'm not about to say you can't or shouldn't court him, if you choose to do so," he said right off the mark. "It's not my place and besides I don't feel you need the guidance. But just make sure you consider too how other people will see it."

This I had done, but I had neglected to do it solidly. So I tipped my head back to stare at the arched, angled ceiling, ran my fingers over Greenly's aligned ears, and let him continue.

"For the most part, or at least everyone I'm familiar with, we think of you as one of us, even if you don't quite fit the usual molds. I think it's widely known that you're of mixed blood but people tend to forget or ignore that as they will. You know how people are. Some people won't look too kindly on it if you attached yourself to someone outside our race."

"I'm already attached to several people outside our race."

He sighed. "You know what I mean, Mabyn."

"I know," I said with a sigh of my own. "And I have thought about it, a bit. People don't like it when someone steps out of tradition. Plus some would see it as a betrayal. I don't know if it would help or hurt my position as a future ambassador, to be honest, not that that would be why I did it."

"Why would you do it?"

My head fell sideways so I could regard him calmly. "For love, of course. I know many cultures marry for politics or convenience but short of saving someone's life I won't do it. I just....am still accustomed to the company of humans. You've no idea how strange and thrilling it's been for me to live amongst people my own size, who don't consider me small, these last several years. I'm used to human company even more than dwarven company though, so it seems strange to me to write them out of my 'pool of availability', or what have you. And I always worry, what if the person I'm meant to love isn't a dwarf? I suppose I don't want to be inhibited by something that I don't see as such a solid barrier as many other people do. My children will already be mixed to some degree anyway."