The love I have for you | Mernick

Meredith (2)

This story is getting longer than I expected... Anyway, I hope you like it! 💕

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After Nick had left she stood in her office for a few mor moments, before she packed her tings and left. It was already late, her kids were supposed to be asleep already. But they seemed to have missed her just as much since they were still up waiting for her. It didn't take her long to convince all of them to spent the night with her. They all got out their favorite pajamas, Meredith got her tablet and they decided to watch a short episode of the kids favorite tv show. While all her kids seemed happy and focused on the storyline they had already seen a thousand times, she found a smile on her lips. She hugged them a little closer to her, putting small kisses into their hair, until they fell asleep. She turned off the tablet and the light, observing her kids a little longer before sleep was overcoming her as well. She hoped the next day would be better.

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'Can we talk?' – Meredith

It was the first thing she did after bringing her kids to school. She had thought a long time last night. And while there was a lot to think about, she was sure about Nick. She just needed to bring up the courage inside her to talk to him. And before that courage was leaving her again, she quickly hit send, before she could change her mind again.

She didn't see him all day, nor did he respond. And she wasn't sure what to make of it, his name wasn't on the OR board. Maybe it had taken her too long to figure her thoughts out. Maybe he did leave after all.

Jackson tried to call her a few times instead, but she didn't want to answer yet, so, she did her best in ignoring him. She went back to her office, slowly giving up hope of seeing Nick that day, when she found him once again waiting in her office.

She slowly went further inside, this time in his direction stopping a few steps away from him. She had to smile a little, when she saw Nick having a second cup of coffee behind him on the desk, taking it and handing it to her.

"It was you, wasn't it? The blanket, the coffee..." She asked quietly, not able to keep a small smile from forming on her lips.

"I don't know what you are talking about." He responded with an obvious smile, as she took the coffee from him.

"Thank you." She whispered, leaving them in silence for some moments.

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"Are you ready to talk about all this?" Nick asked after a while, looking up at her, trying to find her eyes.

"Not really... But I want you to know..." 

Nick gave her a small smile before he addded "Tell me your side... How are you..." He let his sentence trail off while taking her hand in his, carefully letting his thump caress over her knuckles, making her lean against the desk beside him.

"I- I'm exhausted. I'm tired from fighting with the people I love..." She felt him slightly squeeze her hand. "I tried to do what they asked of me... I stayed, I let them yell at me... I accepted their apologies. And I would do it again. Staying, helping..." She clarified "But I think I lost myself during that time... I let their words get to me. I let them hurt me. And that I would change."

She saw Nick nodding reassuringly, not letting go of her hand.

"Richard knows how hard it was for me to grow up with Ellis Grey as my mother." Mereidth took a deep breath before she continued "My mother never once told me that she was proud of me... because... she wasn't. As a child, I couldn't reach her expectations. And later... she either didn't remember me or she told me how much of a disappointment I was. Richard knows that! And all I ever wanted as a child... and probably still now, is for my mother to see me for anything else than a disappointment."